Double Deuce Podcast

Back again, like the tide, but for your ears. The Notes: You people are making Will’s DMs filthy! Will plays net sports (extremely keen-eared, time-traveling listeners may remember Will talking about his foray into pickleball during a DecaDeuce we haven’t released yet)! Pickleball knife fighting! You can’t argue with knife inclusivity! We’re a bad fit for a nazi rally! Indiana Jones has proven the existence of polytheism! Gonna need a ribcage mechanic! We embarrassingly forget Mola Ram’s name! Is Innerspace science fact yet or not!? Dennis Quaid probably doesn’t talk like a duck! Catch Will at Nerd Nite this Wednesday at Maceli’s for his presentation on Richard III being framed for the death of the princes in the tower! Will is going to present several theories, including Nelson’s theory that Captain Kirk did it! Keep Will accountable— make sure he presents Nelson’s Kirk Killed Them Boys theory to the greater scientific community! Don’t put kids in towers! The importance of improvisation when committing regic

Zooming on out to you! The Notes: Previewing the all intro episode! Old man weather! Dystopian human weathervane! The coming Water Wars draw ever closer! Our preferred dystopias! Nelson ascribes to the liberation school of robot revolution! Our criteria for robot overlord collaboration! Some robots need a plan b! Deep Blue racism! Go to Nerd Nite on March 8th at Maceli’s to see Will and other people! Be the main character in the TV show of your life! Jason Keezer can’t get all of your grooves back, despite his raw sexual charisma he’s still only one man! The Things That We’ve Got Coming Up Corner! Go to the next Massholes on April 14th at Maceli’s to see us and other people (including some new blood!) and do your part for comedy democracy by voting in the comedy mayoral election! It’s artisanal comedy, not mass-produced comedy, individual like snowflakes! Thumbprints in the Comedy! Neil Simon kind of phoned that one in! Forgotten short-lived McDonalds character the Hamburglar Helper! The secret origins of War

Lazy Sunday zooming! The Notes: Are you happy, dear listeners? Will is unfit to perform surgery! We’re gonna need more hotpads! Will likes RAYGUN and promotes them for free! Vaguely threatening in the nicest way! The origins of insurance agents! Insurance ad characters and their punchability! One of those faces that needs to be smacked! Rugged man, manly man, man man, man manness! #DoubleDeuceManSlurry! North American Man Slurry Demographics! Concentrated Man Slurry vs Mansicles! The tragedy of Man Slurry deserts! Heat and humidity provide optimal conditions for Man Slurry! The silent Man Slurry majority! Will is presenting his Richard III conspiracy theories at the triumphant return of in person Nerd Nite! It’s Wednesday, March 8th at Maceli’s (there’s an event on facebook)! Will’s favorite Dick! Special Guest Oliver Fox drops in for the Will’s Butt Report! Required beards! Will implores you, on the topic of his butt, to please do your own research! Will demands you sniff his ass! Hundo talk and potential ne

Melia is back! But so is our sound issue, hopefully I fixed it well enough while editing. Meant to release this before the Superbowl rather than the morning after, but I was non-covid sick for a few days, the editing fixes took a while, and there was the aforementioned big game, so it took a minute. Sorry about that, but here it is! The Notes: More Melia! Superbowl Sunday! Tomahawk chop is bad! Superbowl civil war! Superbowl ads! Snack nostalgia! Modular crockpots! Nelson is called back into the ad game! German efficiency! Self-driving cheese dip! Will blurs some lines in a way not conducive to a national television ad campaign! Will’s New Job Corner! He’s at the Lawrence Community Children’s Center! They’ve got a children’s clothing closet, with sizes newborn through 5, and other resources for kids in that age range in Douglas County at tykesdc.com! Check the Community Children’s Center out on their facebook page and donate if you can! Nelson’s advertising genius shines through again! Nelson pitches the hell

Hooray, we’re recording in person and we have a guest! But, we had an in person mic sound snafu! Podcasting, she gives and she takes in equal measure! I got it fixed as best I could, but sorry if it’s not sounding the best! Anyway, the Notes: Melia Stockham is here, and it’s her first time ever on a podcast! Will’s seamless plugging! Melia’s war with the glutes! LFK gluten hacks! Cowboy-style pancake branding! Want to be better organized and productive, go get Melia’s book: The Productivity Spectrum! Productivity and chaos! Frog prison! Amazon, a double-edged sword, and the publishing dilemma! Bing-Bong! Body-hiding problems! What Will calls “the dirty grandpa!” Sleeping while you aren’t asleep! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We’re on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic

Can’t stop, won’t stop! We couldn’t record a new episode! But don’t worry, we still have a new episode! It’s a DecaDeuce! DecaDeuce volume 12! It’s the Deucy Dozen, y’all! The deep fans know, but Stan Lee always said every issue is somebody’s first issue, so here it is! Ten all-new mini 2 minute & 20 second (they run long cause we believe in giving the people what they want) episodes recorded over time and then plastered together into one big, brand-new but pre-recorded, regular-sized episode! Actually, it’s a bit longer (like we said): 50 he’s not heavy he’s my Double Deuce Brother but also he’s heavy minutes! Most of them involve food (get at us Food Network)! Sometimes there’re variable levels of sound quality, too, because sometimes they’re mic checks and sometimes we’ve been drinking. But what we lack in spit and polish we make up for with raw enthusiasm! We’ve got guests, too! Pete Logan, Matt Gaus, & Molly Scanlon! Here’s the Contents: We Didn’t Intend for This to Get Sexual, or Bring a Signed

Zoomin it and zoomin it and zoomin it (marginally) well. The Notes: The hype train rolls in SO HARD! We almost start a Sports Corner; but don’t give up hope, we eventually come back to it! Mythbusting Snowpiercer! Apparently this train is 12 miles long how???!!! Snowpiercer is rife with scientific impossibility so thick it strains the limits of the willing suspension of disbelief! It must have taken forever to gentrify this endless train! To Will, and the denizens of train city, protein bars are equal to human corpses! Getting Titus Andronicus’d! That awkward post-dinner party email after getting Titus Andronicus’d! Will is saying yes to the universe and its infinite possibilities re: accidental cannibalism! Long-lost cannibal love child! Is this train a city? Held hostage in Snowpiercer hell! If you’re in line for Sports Corner, stay in line! And, we’re back to sports! Will watched the first half of the Chiefs game in a low-intensity Tom Waits song at Auman’s house. Auman is welcome to rebut! Nelson’s joy at

Hey! This would normally be a live show, but we’ve had a lot going on and some scheduling complications, and that didn’t happen. Normally, we would jump ahead to 376 and save 375 for when the live show happens, but normally that live show is just 1-3 weeks away, and this time we can’t say for sure when it’ll be. So, we’re moving along with the episode numbers normally, and we’ll get a live one in when we’re able. It may be it won’t be until the regularly expected episode 400, but worst case scenario 400 will be live, and live as all hell! Also, to make up for it, we’ve got a few fun things on the burners for you in these next episodes that’ll have you saying “live show, schmive show, that was great!” Anyway, such as it is, here’s episode 375! The Notes: Will is seldom ready for this, but he’s ready for this now! We’re like a 375-year-old woman! Oily joints! The darker side of turning 100! The butthole letter! Witches and witch stereotypes! This podcast is in international waters! There are no laws in Nelson’s

Just like the last two holiday episodes, this one has not the best sound. Sorry again, should be fixed next time (we’re at least doing a new recording session, so…). No holidays to happy this time so right on in. The Notes: We’re proud of each other! Live Show Postponement Housekeeping: Live 375 will be late, but we’ll make it happen (maybe in February)! Our lawyer is a boxcar lawyer! Adding Badassery back to the public-school curriculum! The badass exploits of Mrs. Grandon! Will’s school trips involved being hunted in the woods! Nelson has to explain to Will which Virginia is the “fancy” Virginia! It’s a long bus ride down to Medellin! Treats and bribes per diem! We all had our own Mrs. Grandon! Video Game Talk! Will is disappointed in these new games! Will’s game reviews! Mrs. Grandon approved! We don’t half-ass our badass! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Al

Happy New Year! Sorry, we recorded this the same time as last one (and next one), so the sound’s still a little off. Still, we’ve got prognostications! The Notes: We’re traveling through space and time as Will is simultaneously in his basement, on a zoom, and in England; the mind reels! Predictions for 2023: Cloud Shape Corner! Sky Glizzies and mustard rain! Old-timey moustaches, the predictable backlash, and the long mid-October awkwardness! Will has long dreamed of a facial hair rally! Will’s a Son of a Shitter Man! Will’s keeping it high and tight in Colorado! You never see Maine coming! Land of 1,000 Night Tickles! Weird goblin roleplay to save the marriage! It certainly ain’t hurtin’ (nudge nudge, wink wink)! Nelson receives another lesson in the perils of yes-anding! Zoom solstice parties! Kids, always wait for the third time! Lighten them bricks! We’ve been preparing you for the future this entire time (you’re welcome)(sorry about the night tickles)! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepo

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happiest of All Possible Holidays, we love you, but this is a weird Christmas episode, not gonna lie! The sound is a little off, too. Sorry! The Notes: Paying back the 2 minutes we owe you: a podcast ! Will’s Movie Reviews for Violent Night and Clerks 3! A lot of pleasant surprises for the old Willster! After the first thaw is prime dune buggy weather! What should Will and his Mom do for their Boxing Day layover in Amsterdam: Anne Frank Museum, get high, or both!? Robot dog demonstration cautionary tale! Goatee Remembrances! Goatees vs the Civil War! Nelson’s Cat attacks! It’s good to explore! The road to museum hell is paved with robot dogs! Let these robot dogs have jobs! Let these robot dogs have appropriate jobs! A confusing, hesitant “yes, and” progression about robot rights that flies too close to the Holocaust during the high holy days! Robot rights vs Will’s fear of AI! There’s been worse Christmases! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod

It’s another dubious notetaking effort, but we are back to our usual 22+ minutes runtime (I know we still owe you like a minute from last time, don’t worry, we’re good for it). The Notes: Will’s thinking about his yesterdays when he should be thinking about his tomorrows! Are the English meant to feel emotion like we do!? Anxiety Corner! The primary weapon of the English! If the situation is a-happenin! Letting your hashtags step outside, stroll down the road, and say hi to the neighbors! Faulknering it! Hemingway on Twitter! Hemingway vs Kanye! The desperation in Will’s eyes! Marketing Corner- this one’s for those of you in the turkey business! Gobbles the Turkey, the adorable turkey mascot! Gobbles the Turkey vs Goebbels the Turkey, let’s sell some turkey and fight the rising tide of fascism! I don’t believe in putting people on lists unless it’s a list of people who root for a nazi turkey! Give me a call, English turkey businesses! Celsius vs Fahrenheit! #CelsiusForScienceFahrenheitForHotDays! This one goe

Hey hey, not a great job taking notes this episode but here are The Notes: Will has no idea what the episode number is! The intern question! We will choke your rivers with our dead – the Double Deuce guarantee! Only metaphorical corpses – the (other) Double Deuce guarantee! Ironically, I think it’s an issue of advertising! We’re having zoom troubles, and timekeeping troubles, but like all our troubles we will ride them to the ragged edge! Live by the zoom, get inconvenienced by the zoom! Show Corner, talking about shows! Willow, White Lotus, Yellowstone/1883/1923! For the love of god, you can still use lights in a night scene and we’ll believe you that it happens at night! We accidentally go about 1-2 minutes short because of our start/stop/start zoom issues, but don’t worry: we’re back to going long as usual next week! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, pl

Still zoomin’ after all these years. The Notes: It’s the Hour of the Deuce! Is Will erotic or evocative!? Will’s singing is “E-rock-ative!” It’s an Official Will Shoutout featuring the Official Will Shoutout Theme! Will has some ivory pipes, he makes the dirty people clean and the clean people dirty! ‘Ol Ivory Pipes, the Ivory Pipes of Lawrence! Will shouts out Saltwell Farm Kitchen, a great place for food and a fun experience! Will doesn’t know what to think after learning people are using his music to get down to get down! Are people having sex to his singing, Will wonders!? Yes, the answer is yes! Will can’t stop touching himself! A little bit of audio mime! She’s like the Hindenburgh, explosive personality and fewer deaths than you’d expect! Sports Corner! Will is magnanimous to Karate Sampson and the people of Cincinnati! How the heartbreak of soccer works! Well, we’ve had fun today! ‘Ol Ivory Pipes – Songs to Make Love to When You’re Not in a Hurry! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@

Back again! We couldn’t record a new episode! But, don’t worry, we still have a new episode! It’s a DecaDeuce! DecaDeuce volume 11! None of the fanfare of last DecaDeuce’s fabled CentenniDeuce, but most of the laughs, maybe more! The deep fans know, but Stan Lee always said every issue is somebody’s first issue, so here it is! Ten all-new mini 2 minute & 20 second (we all know they’re longer than that, calm down) episodes recorded over time and then plastered together into one big, brand-new but pre-recorded, regular-sized episode! Actually, it’s a bit longer: 43 chonky minutes! We’re Dummy Thiccc with Minutes™! We’ve Got Plump Minutes Dumpers™! Look out! There’re probably variable levels of sound quality, too, because WE TRIED, OKAY!? We’ve got guests, though! Jeremy Auman, LFK Mayor Courtney Shipley, Todd Soden, & Skye! Here’s the Contents: 1) Nelson is Like Germany, or Nelson’s Comeuppance, or When in Doubt, Make it a Mini (1/23/22) 2) Favorite 90s Band, or Muppet Gulag Dance Number, or Auman’s Be

Still zooming cause football and other minor tragedies, and so this is the saddest episode ever! The Notes: We’re the guests, but we’re also the hosts! We find ourselves back at Timecop! What’s your favorite time travel story!? This American Doc Hollywood! Are these lizard people or are they Texans!? If Will lived in the Ikea! Ethiopian food was the right choice! Will almost doesn’t get to tell a story about Ollie (but don’t worry, he does)! How many refrigerator doors was it!? Will’s Ikea is an absurdist nightmare! Nelson’s already done his Ikea bit! The coins keep rolling in at Big Johnny’s Religion House! The Little Italian Chefs Making Spaghetti System of Rating Sadness! The saddest spaghetti! What do you see when you picture a little Italian chef? We’re talking about some Chef Boyardee-lookin’ motherfuckers! As usual, telemarketing is the saddest of all! Will remembers the plot of Newsies, and it was apparently not prolabor! Is Newsies a little bit like Philip Roth’s debut book Goodbye, Columbus!? Goodby

Zooming after our big political episode, but back in person next week (with guests!). The Notes: Our editor is a cat! Will’s relaxation tips: eat an edible and listen to lo-fi synth Skyrim music! A lot of people are listening and a lot of them are kind of grossed out! A little patreon sales (hit it up at patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod, despite what Nelson tries to tell you— he’d had an edible and was half-relaxed)! Will’s Christopher Walken impression is back and he records an outgoing voicemail message for you, the people, to use— find the isolated track on the patreon (whether you subscribe or not)! Ollie is stirring the pot! #GoodDadOnDoubleDeuce! Grab that thang! Bonfire Night in Corpusty! The origins of Corpusty! Only fires, no dead bodies! Shirley Jackson’s Corpusty Lottery! Will’s Top 5 Things That Were Moving but Not Alive That Night! Never trust a guy in a trench coat, kids! Hotdog truck driven by a hotdog g-g-g-ghost! They have no giant hotdogs there! The reason football clubs don’t use mascots! So much

We’ve got an election this Tuesday so we’re talking about it with fantastic guests! We’ve got Kansas Treasurer Lynn Rogers talking about his reelection bid and what the treasurer’s office is doing for Kansans, and, keeping us on the rails, our friend, Lawrence Mayor Courtney Shipley! Then we close out with a drop in from Kansas State Senator Marci Francisco to talk about the judges and justices, and the questions at the end of the ballot! Big, big episode! Here’s the Notes: It’s our 365th episode, finally allowing for a daily Deuce listen for an entire year with no repeats! It’s our Big Time Election Episode! Kansas Treasurer Lynn Rogers is here to talk to us, cementing our place as THE political podcast for LFK! What is a treasurer, and do they get to swim in the treasure? Can dragons run for office, is there no rule against it? Retirement planning! Building home equity! Nelson’s 3 tips to build home equity (2 Fridges in Every Home)! Hemp farming and medical marijuana! How the treasurer can influence policy!

We’re on the zoom again, but next episode is gonna be big. Check out the notes for more. The Notes: Nelson doesn’t lie about flavor! Abiding by the laws of Flavortown! A dream of wings on every corner! Will’s dreams all turn into nightmares! The retribution is swift! Will’s improv games! The point for Will is the wallowing! This is a dark episode! Next episode has special guests! Happy Halloween! Dark thoughts, the spookiest ghost story! Sometimes Dillons can be sad! Nelson’s supermarket story! Nanowrimoing to succeed! LFK Mayor Courtney Shipley and Lynn Rogers, current and democratic candidate for Kansas Treasurer! If you have questions for him, for Courtney, or about the election in general, send them our way! A good treasurer treasures every moment! Hot tub safety tips! Lick that shit with a friend! We love each other and most of you! Nelson needs some wiggle room! Three things for kids to look out for! A happy ending, despite the lurking threat of nazis! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucep

Zooming it this week! Big things in the weeks ahead, though, just wait! The Notes: No single Deuces here! We’re like the Health Department! Ice Murder! Will wants to hear about your ice murders! Nelson is hot on the trail of a goldfish murderer! Nelson solves the goldfish murder the department tried to sweep under the rug! Will accidentally shits on his Oprah dream! Oprah dreams sometimes become Oprah nightmares! Will is briefly profound! Ollie is going to be a murder clown named Hugz for Halloween! The only thing scarier than murder is physical intimacy! Will has never found ET! Nelson’s potentially flawed remembering of the plot of ET has tragic implications! Before ET flew just the right distance from the moon, he flew too close to the sun! Science Corner: How do you get to the moon? Going to space, first go up, then go out! Will has a common misconception about Australia! Will vamps while Nelson catches up on notes! A wine company copywriter has drawn our ire! Sports Corner! KC Current headed to the NWSL