Again With This: Beverly Hills, 90210

Kelly tries to make her friends (and us) care about Mark's birthday; Donna and David's reunion keeps running into obstacles; and Brandon is One Angry Man at the CU honour tribunal. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Mark and Kelly's attempt at a sexy getaway is ruined by a lot of diarrhea; Steve confesses to Brandon that he got him in trouble with Professor Randall...again; and David's butterfingers at the Good Old Student Union earn him a psych hold. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Brandon picks up a stray redhead, who makes him realize he's still not over his old blonde; and the rest of the gang heads to Vegas to ignore the plentiful signs that David is in a mental health crisis. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Kelly fails to drive Mark away by telling him about her past; Steve is still pulling (get it) for Clare to ditch Dick; and while Kelly dimes out Val to Brandon, David's impulsiveness continues to worry both his father and the hapless ex said father guilts into babysitting him. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Steve stalks Clare, but like, romantically?; Brandon resists Tracy's come-ons because he plans to take his pants off for the whole newsroom; Mel is concerned that his recovered drug addict son may not be responsible with a six-figure inheritance, and David is a bitch about it; and when Steve very innocently asks Kelly to look out for Val during her abortion ordeal, he just sets her up to find holes in Val's story. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Val continues trying to get Kenny to participate in her extremely real, definitely not fake pregnancy, while the rest of the gang get up to their old tricks at and around the After Dark's Hallowe'en party. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

While Val is busy using the nuclear option on Kenny, the rest of the gang are at Mark and David's housewarming party, trying not to get burned alive and/or save wildlife from getting roasted. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

David shows up to facilitate an Olympian's cameo; Kenny continues jerking Val around -- or, if you believe him, continues joking "Mom" around; Kelly tries reconnecting Jimmy with his faith, because who wouldn't like to spend his last moments on Earth in shul; and Donna and Steve engage in very different kinds of Greek baloney. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Poor Val continues getting jerked around by Kenny and his 'strings'; David's loserdom gets leaked to his dad (good job, Donna -- seriously!); Brandon meets an aspiring female TV anchor and immediately gets her drunk; and Kelly learns a tough lesson about being careful around blood. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Amazingly, getting dropped by MZA doesn't improve David's attitude toward Donna; Val discovers Kenny may not be as 'separated' as he gave her to believe; Kelly gives a person with AIDS the gift of her friendship; and while Joan and Nat lumber toward the altar, Brandon figures out that her daughter is the kind of dancer who's never done Swan Lake. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

While Val and Kenny get close enough to share confidences -- and for him to give her a personal cheque -- everyone's getting bummed out at the Beach Club reunion for a serious injury Steve committed against Kelly that has somehow never once come up before. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Steve and Clare are consigned to a nonsense plot about airport STUFF; Val starts working with a finance guy to get the Peach Pit After Dark Bar Rescued; Donna and David's collaborations ALL start to fall apart; and Brandon brings his enlightened attitudes toward race to Hadley City, Texas. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Erik the management company dude sleazes around all the gang girls; Susan dares to have more sense about her career than Brandon, and gets brayed in the face by guess who; and Prince Carl takes advantage of the good time he's showing Steve for his birthday to go on his way to steal his girl. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

While Steve continues convalescing with his broken jaw, Prince Carl continues putting the moves on Clare; Colin proves he's the world's worst fugitive; and Ray comes back to town to put strain on Donna's relationship with Joe...who's keeping a pigskinned secret of his own. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Brandon and Susan get involved in lottery STUFF (and don't worry: she ends up apologizing); Prince Carl continues hanging around Los Angeles and sniffing around Clare; Joe wonders what more there is to him than his rapidly ebbing football skillz, but Donna's too busy with her career as a video producer to be much help; and Colin decides to reward Val's faith in him by going on the lam. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Steve is thirsty for the attention of a literal prince Clare knew as a kid; Colin finds out he can't actually take his lawyer's plea deal STRAIGHT to the bank; PowerMan 5000 ruins yet another relationship; and Tara decides if Kelly won't be her friend, she won't be anyone's friend ever again. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Steve and Clare's plot gulag forces them both to get exercised about a scarf; Brandon gets his most improbable job offer yet; and while Donna and David strike a match, Tara's crazy gets a makeover! JOIN THE AWT CLUB

The gang couples' SPRING BREAK camping trip finds the guys tempted by a trio of trampy Canadians; Colin's dad comes to town to terrorize him, while Colin's dad's guide dog Heidi is just there to be a very helpful, VERY GOOD girl; and Tara starts ratcheting up the crazy by expertly driving a wedge between Kelly and Greg. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Steve's terrible decision to throw a KEG party at the Walsh house has Kelly flirting with two exes and a future prospect; Tara creepily spying; Colin spending a few of his remaining precious hours of freedom with a bunch of idiots he hates and who hate him; and Austin getting waaaaaaaay too drunk. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Joe actually has his heart surgery, not that anyone cares anymore (including Joe himself?); Clare and (mostly) Susan unleash an unbearably twee plan to rekindle Joan and Nat's love affair; Kelly gets sprung from rehab and Tara is NOT happy about it, while Colin whines a lot about jail as if there's any universe in which this isn't ALL HIS OWN STUPID FAULT. JOIN THE AWT CLUB