Real Relationships With Paula

Niche Radio — Getting engaged and your wedding day should be one of the happiest moments of your life but they can very quickly be overshadowed by wedding planning stress. In this week’s podcast I share some tips and insights on how to overcome these challenges together and still keep your relationship intact. I also chat to newly-weds Damion and Sarah who are 4 months into married life on their wedding journey, married life and how they made their special day their dream day. The key thing to remember is that ultimately your special day is about the two of you, what your ideal day looks like to you and what the budget will allow. Understand that you are not going to agree on everything and it is normal to have some disagreements along the way. Don’t let this detract you from the ultimate goal in that you are doing this for the two of you because you have chosen to spend the rest of your lives together. Follow me on social media here: FaceBook Twitter Youtube Pinterest Goog

Niche Radio — Just as children mimic their parents behavior, so too do employees mimic the leadership behavior in the organization. Parents set the tone by which the family functions and thrives whilst leaders set the tone for the corporate culture, values, vision and mission. So yes the basic principles are the same, the key difference being that our personal relationships are more emotionally charged as they are driven by romantic love, whilst in the workplace we are driven by the love we feel for the organization we work for, our fellow colleagues and being valued for the contribution we are making (e.g. rewards and recognition). In this week’s podcast I discuss how business relationships are just like marriages and how we should invest in soft skills to be successful in both. You can follow me on social media here: FaceBook Twitter Youtube Pinterest Google+ LinkedIn

Niche Radio — “The single most important predictor of how you will behave as a parent is how you were parented as a child.” - Harville Hendrix and Helen La Kelly Hunt They say nothing is more precious than the unconditional love of a child. While we love our children, our children may not always experience us as loving. Even loving and well-meaning parents act, at times, in ways that children do not experience as loving such as when they are fighting, are stressed or going through a personal crisis to mention a few. And as parents, we at times may experience our children in unloving ways too. Our children may seem distant, are being rebellious, in a mood or just plain uncommunicative. So for all those parents out there, I thought I would share this poem with you and to tell you that you’re human, you’re doing the best you can and you’re doing a great job! "A Message for My Child" I gave you life, but I cannot live it for you. I can teach you things, but I cannot make you learn. I can give you

Niche Radio — Recent stats state that 65% of couples cheat at some point or other. Now cheating can mean different things to different people. For some, it is the physical act itself with someone whilst for others, it can be as simple as messaging someone behind your partners back. Whatever it might be for you, the impact can be devastating on so many levels. In my podcast this week, I share tips on how you can overcome an affair and rebuild your relationship stronger than before. In a nutshell, you need to: Be completely open and honest about the affair in as much detail as possible. Cut all ties with the person you were having the affair with and focus all your energy on rebuilding your relationship. Focus on building the trust again in little ways every day Take full responsibility for the affair and don’t apportion blame Understand what caused your relationship to break down that an affair ensued Forgiveness does not happen overnight but rather over time Healing is a process and healing comes fro

Niche Radio — Relationships take work, daily. But long distance relationships have the added complexity of distance and therefore require some additional effort to keep it alive and thriving. This week I chat about some of the ways you can keep your long distance relationship on track and going the distance. You can follow me here: FaceBook Twitter Youtube Pinterest Google+ LinkedIn

Niche Radio — A blended family is where a couple is in a relationship that involves children from a previous relationship or marriage. Couples ultimately create the space for their relationship and the whole family to thrive in. How you go about creating the home environment will lay the foundation for the family and everyone in it to fail or succeed. As a couple you need to both be on the same page, to always back each other, to agree on and uphold the relationship and household values and boundaries. If you don’t back each other, chances are you’ll ended up being on opposite sides vs. being one team and this will cause endless conflict between you and the family. Take time to develop a relationship with each child individually as well as participate in family activities together to create that sense of unity, belonging and identity. PS. Don’t forget to watch Married at First Sight SA on Friday evenings, 20:50 on Channel 131 to see how we help our couples navigate their way through their new relations

Niche Radio — Couples that have been together for a few years run the risk of getting into a familiar routine in their relationship where they are comfortable with each other and their day to day interactions. The risk with this is that comfort zones can become complacent and when a couple is complacent, their relationship can become dull and boring including the physical aspect of their relationship. So how do you keep the spark alive? Well you have to constantly build the intimacy and connection between each other. Often intimacy and sex are confused as one and the same thing but they are not. How do you know the spark is gone in your relationship? Look out for these key signs: • You’re not attracted to your partner anymore • Everything in your relationship seems like hard work • You’re not having much (if any) nooky time • You have no connection or communication outside of day-to-day chores • You only focus on the negatives in your relationship • Your relationship is not a priority

Niche Radio — If you want your relationships to perform at a level where they are uplifting, positive, inspiring and add value to your life, then you need to regularly evaluate them to ensure just this. In this week’s podcast I share the Relationship Perform Model – a tool that you can use to evaluate your personal and professional relationships to ensure they are adding value to your life. The Relationship Perform Model consists of: P - Positive E – Environment R – Resolution F – Focus O – Opportunities R – Respect M - Measure I love hearing from my followers. If you liked this podcast please share it, you can find me here: LinkedIn FaceBook Twitter Youtube Pinterest Google+

Niche Radio — We all at some point or other in our lives experience fear. Fear often drives our behavior and actions, such as you’re afraid of heights, you’re afraid of the dark etc. What we really need to understand is that fear is really just the ‘element of the unknown’ that is causing us to be afraid. Our brains are wired in such a way that we look for the familiar, for certainty and security. When we are uncertain of what an outcome will be, we use our past frames of reference (i.e. our experiences both real and imagined) to try to make sense of the situation. We hesitate or procrastinate on making a decision hoping that something will happen or someone will give us that certainty or the answers we are looking for. The reality of fear is not fear itself but rather what that fear resembles for us: · You are not scared of the dark, you’re scared of what’s in it · You are not afraid of heights, you’re afraid of falling · You are not afraid of the people around you, you’re afraid of rejection ·

Niche Radio — The walk of shame has traditionally been identified as “the morning after a night out at a bar, nightclub, or party where you have spent the night with a sexual partner (or perceived sexual partner)” in other words a one-night stand. However this week’s podcast is about a different ‘walk of shame’, it’s the walk of shame many couples have when their relationship is in trouble. They feel embarrassed and ashamed to seek help, often they feel like a failure…. So have you ever wondered why it is that some couples just seem to have the perfect relationship? They never fight or argue, they are always loving and kind towards each other and content with their lot in life. Have you ever wondered how they do it and why you can't do the same? Well, it's simple really.... They have learned how to deal with their issues (every relationship has issues). They have put boundaries in place to protect their relationship and each other. They respect each other and their relationship. They have set cou

Niche Radio — Many single people say they want a relationship and are ready to meet someone but have not done the work it takes to be ready to accept someone into their lives. Before you can attract your ideal partner, you need to be very clear on the type of partner you would like. Otherwise how will you know it is ‘the one’ if you don’t even know what it is you’re looking for? This week I discuss how to know you are ready for a relationship and how you can become ready by focusing on a few key areas. Download the Partner Checklist and use it to establish clear criteria on what it is that you are looking for in a partner and a relationship. If you are interested in doing more work like this you might want to consider the Mancave Mastermind Program for men and the Womenology Masterclass for women where we discuss topics like this as well as elements such as goal setting, overcoming setbacks, personal relationships, work relationships, leadership and mentorship traits and much more. The next gr

Niche Radio — Holidays should be a time of fun and laughter and family, especially the festive season. But for some people, it's like sticking a knife in their stomachs and slowly turning it....especially if you are a Singleton. Many single people dread the festive season because they know they are going to have to answer a million and one questions from family members and distant relatives as to what their relationship status is, or why they haven't settled down yet? Learning to survive the holidays is key for any singleton if they want to come out on the other side physically and emotionally unscathed. This week I share a few quick tips on how to survive the upcoming holidays as a Singleton. If you are interested in my upcoming programs for men be sure to check out the Mancave Mastermind Program or, for the ladies, have a look at The Womenology Masterclass. They’ll be kicking off in Jan 2017 and are jam packed with tools and insights to help you become a better person, partner and leader. F

Niche Radio — This week I continue talking to Allan and Margaret Hirsch on what it takes to build a successful marriage and business. Allan shares how his limiting beliefs initially held him back from achieving his dreams but with commitment one can overcome anything and this is how he overcame his dyslexia. Margaret shares how they lost everything overnight and had to build their business back up again from scratch and the perseverance and resilience that kept them going. They also share some of their success factors such as how they share the leadership in the business, the value of their suppliers, investing in their staff by empowering them, how they are uplifting the many people around them as well as what some of their greatest joys have been to date. Please vote for NicheRadio.co.za in the 2016 Blog Awards – http://bit.ly/vote-niche I love hearing from you so please connect with me on any of the below: paula@paulaquinsee.com FaceBook Twitter Youtube Pinterest

Niche Radio — Today I talk to Allan and Margaret Hirsch from Hirsch’s Homestore as to what it takes to build a successful relationship and business and how they keep the balance between work and home. This dynamic couple also do such incredible work to empower individuals both within their business as well as in communities. As a couple, if you have not read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, I highly recommend it as a way to strengthen and build your relationship. You can also do the online assessment here. If you are a women you may want to plug into the Hirsch’s monthly women networking events, and you can also follow Margaret on Facebook to keep up to date with the amazing work that she does in communities. Be sure to listen to my podcast next week where I will be speaking to Margaret and Allan about their business challenges and what they consider their success factors. Please pop a comment below this podcast with your thoughts on what you think it takes to build a success

Niche Radio — When we get stuck in the blame game there can be no winning, only degrees of losing. This is probably one of the hardest cycles for a couple to break when they are caught up in the blame game. It’s a constant keeping score, stonewalling, waiting for the other to make the first move and more. When in fact very little actually happens and instead the wedge just gets driven deeper and deeper between the two until there is no coming back from it and the relationship completely breaks down. Here are some questions you can use that will go a long way to start getting you out of the blame game cycle and back on the same page with each other again: What can I do that can create more safety in our relationship? How can I talk about my own experience without blaming my partner? How can I be more curious about what my partner is experiencing even if I don’t agree with them? How can I let go of the need to be right? “When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” ~Dr. Robert Anthony

Niche Radio — It always amazes me how we are prepared to invest so much time, effort, energy and resources into areas of our lives such as the car we drive, the house we live in, our career and material assets. Yet we don't think much further than our wedding day as to what it takes to sustain a relationship and only grudgingly invest in our relationship when the divorce courts are looming.... The reality is that there is no such thing as the perfect person or perfect relationship. Rather, it’s how perfect can you be for each other and for the benefit of your relationship. It’s the small steps you take each day that lead to your success in the long term. Everyone can have a happy relationship if they are prepared to do what it takes. So what are some of the ways that couples succeed at their relationships? Listen to this week’s episode to get some great insights on how couples make their relationships work. Don’t miss out on the Mancave “Meeting of the Minds” session on Thurs 17 Nov 18:30-20:30 in

Niche Radio — There are times when we question our relationship, particularly in those dark moments when everything feels like hard work and we’re questioning whether it’s worth it or not… Before you think about ending your relationship, there are some questions you need to ask yourself as part of your decision making process: 1. Are you there for all the right reasons? 2. What do you really love about your partner? 3. How badly do you want to fix your relationship? 4. What is your level of commitment to making the relationship work? 5. How will you both keep each other accountable to uphold your end of the deal and keep your relationship from slipping back into old habits? Even if your relationship is not in a negative place, asking each other these questions can help you breathe new energy into your relationship. We seldom review our relationships as to what’s working and what’s not working and only realise that something is wrong when we’re heading down the rocky road to break-up or divorce.

Niche Radio — January is known as divorce month. How can you get through the tough holidays intact? Podcast one from author, speaker and relationship advisor, Paula Quinsee.