Flock Of Seagals

It's December, which means we have an excuse to watch movies that people say are Christmas movies, but aren't actually Christmas movies. And we're starting with the action film everyone always insists is a Christmas movie, Reindeer Games. Featuring Ben Affleck's eyebrows, Sinise at his most Sinisiest, and Theron giving more depth to her character than she deserves, this case of mistaken identity is one for the ages. As always, this episode is edited and produced by Riley's podcasting company Podigy, who have put out a Complete Guide to Podcast Editing which will get your podcast sounding phenomenal for free! Or if you want us to take your podcast to the next level, come see why people love Podigy's podcast editing This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

It is the joy of every movie podcast to finally get to do a Nicolas Cage film. When the synopsis of the film is Cage is a man who is on a mission from God to hunt down Bin Laden, you become even more excited. Everything is primed for something to go gloriously wrong. And it does. It’s horrible. Not in a fun way. As always, this episode is edited and produced by Riley's podcasting company Podigy, who have put out a Complete Guide to Podcast Editing which will get your podcast sounding phenomenal for free! Or if you want us to take your podcast to the next level, come see why people love Podigy's podcast editing This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Flock of Seagals is changing things up. We've done 12 episodes of FoS that we're immensely proud of, that we did without the knowledge of the recent allegations against Steven Seagal. In light of these new accusations, and learning the full breadth of what they encompass, we've decided we're not gonna give him any more publicity, however small it might have been. However, we're keeping our RSS feed and our name for the time being, and we are still going to do what we do best on this podcast: seek out the most ill conceived and puzzlingly shot films we can find and give them the critical analysis they never deserved. Steven Seagal was our shorthand for that, but from here on out, we will be seeking out shining examples of movies where directors, actors, producers, lighting techs, audio mixers, editors, caterers et al all decided to "just show up", give it 50% and be home by 5. And by god does 2016's The Assignment fit the bill on that account. Directed by Walter Hill (director of The Warriors, producer o

Pistol Whipped is a film the way Totino’s Pizza Rolls are calzones. There are recognizable shapes and textures, it seems vaguely familiar to something you’ve enjoyed before, but ultimately you’re left feeling empty inside. With Totino’s all you need to do is rip open another pack, but there is nothing to fill the void Pistol Whipped will leave in you. This isn’t to say there isn’t a lot going on. In many ways, the story mirrors that of Ant Man: a man down on his luck has his vices exploited by a wealthy businessman, who promises a path to redemption and reconciliation with his estranged daughter. While it’s debatable whether Seagal is more charismatic than Rudd, the former definitely brings his signature “breathless charm” to the picture. In a Lynchian twist, many of the locations are recycled, but change every time Seagal revisits. What is at first the service entrance to a hotel lobby is transformed to a 2-table casino and then a cubicled mafioso restaurant while its labyrinthine network of staircases a

This week Dan, Tony and Riley go back to the days when a cop could get clearance and a shotgun from his lieutenant to go kill William Forsythe. Simpler times indeed. They dive into the crack epidemic, the lack of “beefy boy” fights in modern cinema and Chekov’s garbage puppy. They also discuss the legendary pants accident Seagal allegedly suffered on set. This also marks one of the best shot Seagal films, with a 1991 budget of $14 million, which in today’s dollars is much more than what his films cost to shoot today, because it’s more in 1991 dollars as well. I don’t know how inflation works. As always, this episode is edited and produced by Riley's podcasting company Podigy, who have put out a Complete Guide to Podcast Editing which will get your podcast sounding phenomenal for free! Or if you want us to take your podcast to the next level, come see why people love Podigy's podcast editing This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

This week is a doozy: 2016's The Perfect Weapon, where Seagal plays Dictator of America in 2029. We've made a lot of comparisons to Trump in the past, but this is terrifyingly real. Anyways! The film is available to rent on a lot of major platforms for a very reasonable price, and is well worth it! As always, this episode is edited and produced by Riley's podcasting company Podigy, who have put out a Complete Guide to Podcast Editing which will get your podcast sounding phenomenal for free! Or if you want us to take your podcast to the next level, come see why people love Podigy's podcast editing This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Announcement: Flock of Seagals is now going weekly! You in no way demanded it and now it is a reality! Here's how things are gonna go down: We noticed that a lot of our episodes were going over the time it would take to watch the movie, so we decided to start doing commentary tracks for the films the first week, so you'll have a chance to watch the movie with us, and then have the discussion on the film the second week. So same number of films, just twice the time with them. It satisfies our urge to talk about Seagal as much as possible and hopefully your urge to watch some of these films with 4 of your best goof around pals, us! Don't worry, theres a signal in the episode to sync with the film, and you'll get to hear our first takes on a lot of the ridiculousness that is late period Seagal. And this week is a doozy: 2016's The Perfect Weapon, where Seagal plays Dictator of America in 2029. We've made a lot of comparisons to Trump in the past, but this is terrifyingly real. Anyways! The film is available t

Belly of the Beast is the movie Riley has been waiting for since this podcast started. Cheap sets, mid-90s decor, the legendary Ching Siu-tung and an uncooperative Seagal combine to make a disasterously bonkers film that feels more like a rejected Alias spinoff with supernatural elements. However, just because the movie doesn't amount to the sum of its parts doesn't mean there is nothing of note here. Seagal becomes the first man to perform two wire stunts laying down in a film, and a mysterious woman's bare chest displays secret gliphs to our hero in his moment of need. There's a lot to love here, if not always for the reasons the creators intended. Also! This week we're pleased to start off with an advertisement from our friends from the Over the Kill podcast. They take an objective look at how action stars age, either gracefully or... you know. Guess where Seagal falls? And, as always this week's podcast editing is provided by Riley's company Podigy, who recently put out a complete guide to editing yo

This may very well be the most important episode of Flock of Seagals we've ever done. Riley and Michael are joined by friends Jamie and Anthony to discuss the first four episodes of Steven Seagal's 2009 reality tv show Steven Seagal: Lawman. What starts off as a discussion of Seagal's enigmatic persona only being enriched by the menial policing he does as part of the Jefferson Parish Louisiana Police Force and his day-to-day activities of training his guard dogs or playing a blues concert to raise funds for a childrens' charity, morphs over time as Jamie becomes more concerned with Riley and Michael's unironic love of Seagal. He puts the two on trial for sensationalizing the exploits of a Trumpian, B-list celebrity. Obviously, M&R are having none of this and things start to spiral out of control. If you listen to only one episode of this podcast, make it this one. If you like the sound of this podcast and would like to find out more about how we do it, check out Riley’s podcast production company Pod

This week we discuss Seagal's first direct-to-video release, the unfortunately titled "The Patriot". Topics such as "why is he playing a Native American" and "why is the Army throwing the raw ingredients to a cure to the disease out of helicopters instead of making a cure and handing it out" are brought up, but no answers are found. That being said, we were all pleasantly surprised by the cinematography and tight-paced plot. Makes you wonder why so many people took their names off this project… Also! Exciting news: We have our first sponsor for the show! Coincidentally it is also the podcast company Riley owns, but don’t look too much into that. But do look into the great sounding podcasts that Podigy makes over at https://podigy.co/. If you’re looking to start a podcast or upgrade the sound of your current podcast, Podigy offers not only best-in-class podcast editing but also will sponsor your podcast and take up to 20% off the price to do so. It’s a win-win!

This week we're discussing Cartels, released internationally last year as Killing Salazar but which got an American theatrical release last week. Which means you could theoretically go out and see this film right now in a movie theatre. It also means we are very ON BRAND and SEO OPTIMIZING because everyone is searching for the latest Steven Seagal film right? Guys? ...Hello?

Steven Seagal as the Steven Seagal character. DMX as a software engineer. Tom Arnold as a daytime television host. Anthony Anderson as someone who was asked to "play up" his characters craziness too much. What would you do if you were the owner of $9.99.com and your brother was wrongfully convicted of heroin possession? Probably not what the characters in Exit Wounds choose to do, thats for sure.

Episode 3 starts hard and fast with a just past his prime Seagal. Seriously! We discuss how Keenen Ivory Wayans' shot at being an action star was dashed by an uncooperative co-star, interesting fashion choices and Brian Cox-as-savior. There's a lot to unpack

In this episode, Michael, Riley and Dylan go back to where it all began: Above the Law, a movie originally written with Clint Eastwood in mind, presumably with less aikido. With some interesting rewrites, and the gravitas of Henry Silva, it became the very confused little cousin of The Manchurian Candidate, and completely wastes the talents of a very game Pam Greer. Sad!

In the inaugural episode of Flock of Seagals, Michael and Riley first discuss why they are doing this, the enigmatic nature of Steven Seagal, and then are joined by Dylan to discuss Seagal's 4th film of 2016, Contract to Kill, which is 15 minutes of entertainment, followed by 90 minutes of winded exposition. The boys ponder many of the poor choices that culminated in Seagal fighting a Mexican cartel full of Eastern European actors, and draw parallels between the actor and some world leaders...