The Alcohol & Addiction Podcast

Most people think they drink because they enjoy alcohol. In this episode, we look at something far harder to admit. That for many people, alcohol isn’t about taste, confidence, or relaxation at all — it’s about belonging. Not being rejected. Not being excluded. Just… not being slightly outside the group. This episode explores the one “value” of drinking that people struggle to let go of, and why it sits at the heart of so many failed attempts to stop.   What This Episode Focuses On   • Why “belonging” is the one reason people can’t cross off their value list • How alcohol quietly becomes a social contract rather than a drink • The fear of breaking your role in a group or relationship • Why exposure isn’t just about settling your nervous system • The moment you realise that without alcohol, the ritual itself stops working • Why some relationships drift when alcohol leaves — and why that matters • How predictability gets mistaken for connection • The deeper fear underneath tribe: “If I don’t do this anymore, wh

Why the ‘Relief’ You Crave After Work Is Lying to You That sense of relief you crave at the end of the day isn’t random — and it isn’t a personal weakness. For many people, alcohol has quietly become the ritual that marks the transition from effort to rest, from work to home, from endurance to relief. Not because it works — but because it’s familiar. In this episode, we look at the moment relief enters the conversation, why it shows up so reliably after long days, and how unexamined rituals can end up costing more than they give back. This isn’t about willpower or stopping anything. It’s about understanding what your nervous system is actually asking for — and learning how to meet that need without borrowing relief from tomorrow. What you’ll hear in this episode Why the urge for “relief” often appears right after work finishes How alcohol became the default transition ritual between work and home The difference between relief that restores you and relief that just numbs Why removing a drink without chang

There’s a moment most people miss. You finish work. Nothing bad has happened. The day wasn’t stressful. And yet… something feels off. This episode explores the uneasy gap between stopping one role and entering the next — whether that’s stepping out of the car, closing a laptop in the spare room, or standing in the kitchen wondering what to do with yourself. For many people, this is the moment alcohol quietly enters the picture — not because they “need a drink”, but because their nervous system is searching for safety, certainty, or relief. In this episode, I explain why that transition can feel so uncomfortable, why willpower isn’t the issue, and how this moment becomes one of the most predictable pressure points in alcohol reliance. This is not about stopping yourself. It’s about understanding what’s actually happening before the urge appears. What this episode covers • Why the work-to-home transition is one of the most overlooked triggers for drinking • How unfinished stress carries forward even when you th

When Drinking Doesn’t Quite Add Up This episode is a short pause. It’s for people who don’t think they drink “that much” — but still find themselves thinking about alcohol more than they expect to. Nothing dramatic has happened. No rock bottom. No clear line crossed. And yet, something about drinking doesn’t feel as neutral as it’s supposed to. In this episode, we name that quiet confusion. The mental bargaining. The comparison with others. The sense that stopping feels harder than it should — even when life looks fine from the outside. There’s no advice here. No plan. No pressure to change anything. Just space to recognise what’s been difficult to explain — and to realise you’re not the only one who feels this way.

Most New Year’s resolutions don’t fail because you’re weak, lazy, or lack willpower. They fail because they’re built on the wrong level of choice.   In this end-of-year monologue, I challenge the entire idea of waiting for January to change your life. Calendars don’t create transformation. Identity does.   Inspired by Sam Harris and grounded in the STRIVE Method, this episode breaks down why resolutions collapse under pressure—and what actually creates lasting change when it comes to alcohol, health, habits, and self-leadership.   If you’ve ever promised yourself “this year will be different” and ended up back in the same patterns, this episode will help you see why—and what to do instead.   Key moments in this episode: • Why most New Year’s resolutions sit at the wrong level of choice • The difference between secondary choices, primary choices, and the fundamental choice • Why willpower collapses without a sovereign anchor • How identity and SELF-leadership remove negotiation with alcohol • Why any day—not J

How to Calm the Nervous System When Alcohol Is Calling   When alcohol calls, it rarely announces itself as a craving. It shows up as stress. Restlessness. A tight, buzzing body that wants relief now.   In this episode, I’m joined by Danica Eakman — a sound bath practitioner and reiki master who trained under one of the pioneers of sound healing — to explore something most people overlook when trying to change their relationship with alcohol: the nervous system.   This isn’t a soft, abstract conversation about vibes or spirituality. It’s a grounded, practical discussion about why willpower collapses when the body feels unsafe — and why learning to regulate your nervous system may matter more than trying to think your way out of drinking.   We talk about sound baths not as a luxury experience, but as a training ground for stillness. A place to practise safety, presence, and “the pause” — especially for people who live at full speed and use alcohol as a way to switch off.   If you’ve ever understood what to do i

In this powerful conversation, Lee Davy is joined by Lisa Katona Smith, founder of Parallel Recovery and author of Parallel Recovery: A Guide for Those Who Love Someone Struggling with Substance Use Disorder. This episode is for anyone who loves someone who is struggling — partners, parents, sons, daughters — and feels exhausted, confused, or stuck in cycles of fixing, fear, and reactivity. Lisa brings clarity without blame, compassion without collapse, and a framework that finally gives families permission to stop fixing and start healing. Together, Lee and Lisa explore how real change doesn’t come from control, lectures, or shame — but from working on yourself, regulating your nervous system, and learning how to love better. What We Cover in This Episode What Parallel Recovery actually is — and why families need their own recovery process, not just the person who’s struggling Why waiting for someone else to change keeps the entire family system stuck How control, fixing, and over-functioning are fear

#1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE   What happens when you’re growing, healing, evolving… and your partner isn’t?   In this powerful conversation, I sit down with licensed psychotherapist, master certified consciousness coach, and clinical hypnotherapist Casey Stevens to explore what really happens inside relationships when one person begins to wake up — and the other stays exactly where they are.   If you’ve ever felt torn between loving someone and slowly losing yourself… this episode will feel like someone finally turned the lights on.   Here’s what we dive into:   • Why “inviting” your partner into growth works — and “dragging” them never does • The dignity of someone’s own process, and how over-functioning destroys safety • How nervous system regulation shapes every argument, rupture, and repair • Why addiction, gaming, workaholism, or alcohol often block intimacy at its root • How to know the difference between misaligned values and a partner who is willing, but wounded   If your partner drinks, dis

High performers think they should have everything handled — except this one thing. In this conversation, James Swanwick breaks down why entrepreneurs, executives, doctors, lawyers, investors, and other high achievers get trapped in alcohol-reliance… and why quitting feels harder for them than anyone else.   Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:   • The hidden emotional drivers behind high achievers’ drinking — stress, regret, unmet expectations, and the belief “I should be further ahead by now” • Why willpower destroys long-term success, and James’ “flipperooni” method that rewires your desire at the root • How cultural conditioning, parents, celebrities, films, music and “smiling assassins” keep even intelligent people stuck • Why thinking about drinking (even when you’re not drinking) drains your cognitive bandwidth and hurts marriage, parenting, and business performance • The identity shift that terrifies high performers — and how James helps clients build a new SELF-led identity without alcohol • What

Who Am I Without Alcohol? Fitting In, ADHD & Alcohol-Free Sexiness With Keely Louise   You’re scared that without alcohol… you won’t fit in, you won’t be fun, and you won’t even know who you are.   Keely Louise (aka The Sober Hype Girl) started drinking at 13 and stopped at 38. For most of her life she believed alcohol was the only time she felt free, fun, sexy, and like “herself.” In this conversation, we rip that story apart and rebuild it from the ground up.   We go deep into what really happens when you take alcohol out of the picture: identity, relationships, sex, energy, ADHD, anxiety, depression, dating, divorce, the whole lot.   If alcohol has become your personality, this one will sting in all the right ways.   Here’s what we talk about:   • Why people are terrified to ask: “Who am I without alcohol?” • How drinking to “fit in” slowly proves you never actually fitted in at all • The big fear of not being “fun” anymore – and what real fun looks like alcohol-free • Going from black-and-white existe

What happens when you finally grow out of a version of yourself that no longer fits?   In this intimate conversation with poet Roberto “Bert” Pastori, we explore the messy, chaotic, beautiful journey from drinking as an identity to discovering a life defined by consciousness, creativity, and genuine connection.   Bert and I dig into why alcohol felt like freedom when we were young, how masculinity traps men into emotional silence, and what really happens when you outgrow your friend group but stay in the same body, the same culture, and the same expectations.   This one goes deep into identity, community, fear, creativity, and the Liquid Lie that tells us alcohol is necessary for art, love or belonging.   If you’ve ever wondered why it’s so hard to “leave things behind” — or why becoming AFAF forces you to confront the parts of your life you could previously drink away — this conversation will resonate.   Discussion Points   • How alcohol becomes part of your identity long before you notice it happening • The

When your faith tells you your identity is a sin—where do you turn? In this deeply human conversation, Sean Hemeon shares what it was like to grow up gay in the Mormon Church, find temporary relief in alcohol, and eventually reclaim his spirituality, creativity, and SELF.   We talk about: • Growing up gay in the Mormon Church and the shame that shaped his early years • How alcohol became both a mask and a form of relief • Losing faith—and finding a deeper spirituality beyond religion • Sobriety and self-acceptance as acts of radical love • What it means to be a sober actor in Hollywood • Why creativity without substances is the truest expression of the SELF   This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt “different,” hidden behind a mask, or searched for belonging in all the wrong places.   If Sean’s story resonates, please share this episode with someone who needs it—and if you need help becoming alcohol-free-as-f***, reach out to me at thestrivemethod@gmail.com.   You can contact Sean Hemeon directly at hemeon

What if the “worst” years of your life were actually the beginning of your healing?   In this conversation with Lindsey Van Wagner, author of Spirit Vigilante, we explore how redefining addiction as sickness, not badness can open the door to grace, self-understanding, and freedom. Lindsey shares her raw story of living with bipolar II disorder, the lies she told to survive, and how she learned to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.   We dive into: – The Lost Years — why reframing chaos as illness changed everything – The Forever Question — how to stop obsessing about never again and win today instead – Lies as a Second Job — the freedom that comes when you stop managing alibis – Willingness and Surrender — how to put your ego down without putting yourself down – Inside-Out Living — taking your power back from partners, parties, and promotions   If you’re struggling with alcohol-reliance and want freedom without shame, reach out to me at thestrivemethod@gmail.com. To grab Lindsey’s book Spirit Vigilante, yo

What happens when the person you love the most becomes the one you hurt the most? In this powerful conversation, Bryan Power shares how his marriage went from a restraining order to reconciliation — all through the lens of Integrated Attachment Theory. Bryan opens up about how childhood trauma shaped his behaviour, how emotional chaos tore his marriage apart, and how understanding attachment styles helped him rebuild trust, safety, and connection with his wife. Together, we explore the idea that healing our relationships begins with taking 100% responsibility for our own PARTS. In this episode: – The truth about how attachment wounds shape adult relationships – Why taking responsibility doesn’t mean accepting blame – How men can lead healing by working on themselves – The difference between anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant attachment – How curiosity and compassion can replace the need to be right – The practical tools Bryan used to rebuild trust and intimacy – The real reason children trigger our deepe

When life gets loud, do you reach for connection—or for a coping mechanism?   In this vulnerable conversation, trauma-informed coach Nina Vasquez makes a bold case: most of us aren’t “addicted”… we’re avoiding ourselves.   We explore what it means to stop numbing and start feeling, and how shame, isolation, and disconnection from the body keep us stuck in the same loop.   In this episode, we dive into: • The difference between isolation and solitude—and why one heals while the other hides. • How shame keeps you small and disconnected from your truth. • Why nervous-system safety is the foundation of all healing. • Body-based tools to release stored emotion—breath, sound, shaking, and movement. • How mirror work and eye contact rebuild self-trust and compassion. • The shame–numb–shame spiral behind alcohol, food, and scrolling. • Simple ways to start living a SELF-led life, AFAF.   Grab Nina’s free nervous system guide: ninavasquezcoaching.com/gifts   If you want personal help to become AFAF, email thestrivemet

What if joy isn’t something you wait to feel—but a skill you can practice, share, and scale? In this conversation with The Party Scientist, Jacques Martiquet, we explore how music regulates the nervous system, why psychological safety makes joy contagious, and how connection—not chemistry—creates the moments you remember. We swap stories from festivals, Burning Man, and everyday life to show you simple social risks that turn awkward rooms into communities—without a drop of booze.   Inside: — Why music + voice prosody can calm your body and open you to connection — The difference between high-energy hype and the quieter flavours of joy (gratitude, presence, attunement) — Phones, alcohol, and safety: how “full frontal-lobe” gatherings change everything — Joy as leadership: lighting up individuals, then groups (communal joy) — Practical ways to play more—with people—so joy becomes repeatable   A quick invite for STRIVERS: if evenings feel edgy or you’re stuck using alcohol for reward or belonging, STRIVE Foundat

Ever notice how comforting it feels to run to your “safe people” when life gets rough—the ones who nod, agree, and reassure you? For a moment, you feel calmer. But here’s the catch: nothing really changes.   In this episode, I unpack why alcohol is the ultimate echo chamber—always agreeing, never challenging—and how “safe conversations” can quietly keep you stuck. I share personal stories, explore the drama triangle, and reveal why choosing discomfort is the real path to growth.   We’ll talk about echo chambers versus idea labs, how to regulate your nervous system when you feel attacked, and three practical moves to break free from victim mode.   If you’ve ever wondered why the same struggles keep looping, this one’s for you.   If your nervous system feels on edge by 5 pm, chances are you’re running to your own echo chamber—whether that’s a wine glass, a WhatsApp group, or a pub stool. STRIVE Foundations helps you flip that script. Twenty bite-size workshops, one simple truth: alcohol is the Liquid Lie.    #1

The baby wouldn’t stop crying. We were 26, knackered, and suddenly drowning in wine we never meant to drink.   When parenthood hit, so did the isolation. Nights out turned into nights in, and without even realising it, we brought the pub into the house. One glass became a bottle. Tuesdays felt like Fridays. And before long, drinking wasn’t a choice—it was a ritual.   In this episode of the 1000 Days Sober Podcast, I share how being homebound in my twenties made my drinking worse, the subtle shift that happens when alcohol moves from social to medicinal, and the steps you can take to break that cycle before it wrecks more than your evenings.   We’ll cover: – How “just one glass” at home turns into a hidden pattern. – Why your PARTS convince you alcohol = connection. – The truth about what your kids learn when they see you drink. – Five practical tips to stop drinking at home as a parent.  

Norm MacDonald was one of comedy’s sharpest minds—and in this rare conversation, he opens up about his relationship with alcohol, how quitting changed his creativity, and why living alcohol-free gave him an edge in life.   You’ll hear Norm’s stories about drinking on stage, what happens when alcohol becomes part of your persona, and why he believed alcohol is “the worst drug of all.” We also explore the myth that booze fuels creativity—and what really happens when you perform with a clear mind.   This is Norm at his most honest and reflective. If you’ve ever wondered what life might look like without alcohol, this episode will give you a glimpse.  

Nothing prepares you for quitting alcohol. Not the books, not the blogs, not the horror stories — nothing.   Most people think 30 days without alcohol will be a nightmare: no fun, no relaxation, no connection. But what if those fears are exaggerated? What if those 30 days aren’t the end of joy, but the beginning of calmness, clarity, courage, and connection?   In this episode, I share what really happened when I quit drinking for 30 days. From blackouts and shame spirals to the eight Cs of SELF, you’ll hear how one decision reshaped my marriage, career, and sense of identity.