Atomic Mind Dump Podcast

Squeeze this main attraction content between your buttocks, listeners! You're welcome for the tinnitus. Bobby points out the creepiness of knowing your state's age of consent. Allen gives the guys tickets to the gun show. 'Murica. Tony's wall won't let science or facts get in the way of the truth. Brian comes to the sports defense of skill games.

The Water Closet Fite Club is on, now! Allen throws the first punch, with a monster claim made by DeLiRiOuS, and he decides to cosign it. Tony struts in with fresh bloody knuckles, and stories of his hardness, until the heavy bag makes an appearance to dispute his claims. Bobby goes online to see both sides of the liberal/conservative debate, and all he sees is salt. Endless plains of salt. Brian tells the story of his journey into stock investing, but it sends us all into a rant against newspaper funny pages.

Welcome to the aromatheraphy Water Closet! Sit back, enjoy an Unkempt Jo, and listen to this episode, as we choose what to cure, so you don't have to. This week, Allen defends his use of a bad comedy hashtag, Bobby goes to war against tiny bundt cakes, and Brian, in a stunning turn of events, switches sides mid-argument. Email us, and tell us which side you're on. #KermitTyping.gif

Welcome to the Water Closet feeding frenzy. Our bellies are filled with joke-meat and license plates. This week: Brian finally reads a business book classic, and his Description of it makes us all want to be Jerk Dad. Bobby is concerned that Steven Seagal is in a real-life descent into madness, and Netflix is just filming it. Allen feels shame when Brian goes dad-mode, and embarrasses him with stories of old RPG characters. Mr. Seagal, if you're listening to this, we're writing that feel-good teacher movie, just for you.

Welcome to the most reliable source for your fake news, dear listeners.   This week: * Allen hasn't been 100% at all since the year started, and his daughter doesn't care. * President DeLiRiOuS does not discriminate, even when his pranks do. * Bobby realizes that this podcast creates the dankest timelines. * Brain reveals the next episode of Mike Rowe's Dirty Jobs: Abroad.   None of it matters, though, because iRealDolls are taking over the world. #DrowningInPoon

This episode happens in the future, in a world after episode 100 of AMD, full of flying cars and douche scooters! And then we never did the official episode 100 extravaganza, so now it's this.   Ricardo is back, replacing his speed dating questions with inspirational emojis. Brian earns a "That's what my dad always says." Allen needs the bigger arm cuff. Bobby can't sleep without the white noise of porn. #Gigaflop

The Water Closet is all about New Year's nonsense, in our "Holiday After the Holidays Special". Until the discussion turns to Nate Dogg. Bobby gives Jack in the Box a winning New Year's promotion idea. Also, he reveals the truth behind the Mandela Effect. Allen takes offense at not being considered a good Kneeling Bandit. Brian gets a head start on his New Year's resolution, so he can feel a little better when it fails a week into January. DeLiRiOuS finally reveals his identity, because now he knows he can run for president and still say whatever he wants. Song: "I Got Love" by Nate Dogg #TooMuchNateDogg #MandelaEffect

This week, the Water Closet is a time machine that travels back for pro wrestling nostalgia. Mostly because Bobby is outnumbered by two old guys. Brian shoots on the Robocop incident in pro wrestling. Allen shoots on the mutant ability of a classic wrestler. Bobby shoots on a missed opportunity to perform at a little wrestling event.

Hands are held, and arms are crossed, in the water closet this episode, valued listeners. Allen and Bobby hold hands, and try not to let go of their masculinity, as they reach for an obscure world record. Tony holds on to his disapproval of TDPDA, while he death-grips his Man Card. Brian drops the clay on the carpet, and no one is able to grasp his fiber analogy.

It's a post Thanksgiving wrap up in the water closet, and the guys share what they are thankful for. Buckle up for a bummer list, everyone. Allen has to buy two tickets, and is very uncomfortable in theme park rides. DeLiRiOuS reveals the moment he switched to boxers. Brian gets viral video-bombed at his new gym/bakery. Hey, Bobby over there, with his hat and a shirt. You're dressed so nice, kid.

Move your papers and mattresses away from the speakers, listeners! The water closet is barely able to contain this hottest fire intro. DeLiRiOuS hates comedy in threes, but likes eating "genius butter". Allen doesn't think Tony and Bobby understand what putting a toe in the water means. Bobby would like have the immunity that comes with impersonating Danny DeVito. This episode may end in a dramatic case of mistaken identity, involving a gun pointed a two of the same person. #AflacMoney #AffleckMoney

It's been less than 12 hours since the presidential election results, and a drastic new change has been implemented. Water closet talk this week is speculation about why The Purge is happening. Also, in this episode: * DeLiRiOuS reveals his catfishing tattoo. * Allen reveals his solution to corporate tax problems: patriotic stickers. * Bobby reveals how he comfortably lumps all Trump voters under one blanket. * Brian reveals the secret of heavier concealed carriers.

This week in the water closet, the original AMD trio discusses the topic of losers. DeLiRiOuS tells the tale of the 43 million dollar steak dinner. Bobby's hot water tank is the lovable loser that sacrifices itself to save him. Everyone that Trick or Treated at Brian's house this year was the loser, as they took responsible amounts of old-man candy.

This is a week of arms crossing in firm disapproval of things for the AMD crew. DeLiRiOuS is sick, and bows out early. Or he just doesn't care about us. Bobby doesn't approve when things get excessively fast and excessively furious. Brian crosses his arms hard across his Star Wars jersey, in protest of professional sports. Allen thinks less of a possible white supremacist, but only after seeing his tattoo. Be sure to enjoy the Zen garden break in the middle of this episode.

Tacos, tummy aches, and tush care. We cover the entire digestive system in the water closet this week. Bobby would rather be at the wall of taco trucks. Or the Yellowcard concert. Allen can only approve of so much of Brian's comedy, until he puts on his coach hat and pulls him off the joke pitcher's mound. Brian puts on his sausage costume, and plays the bad joke mascot when he's not allowed to pitch. DeLiRiOuS will support car trunk tamales, but never food truck fusion.

When we're not handing off responsibilities around the water closet, we take only bad selfies. Bobby explains how he was a part of the exploding Samsung Note 7 saga, and a victim of the hack comedy that followed it. Brian explains the gradual process of going "full Trump". Allen takes his electric clipboard around the neighborhood to solve bad parenting. DeLiRiOuS recounts his stories of witnessing fanatical sports culture, and tries to say something nice about the the presidential candidates.

We're grading everything in the water closet this episode, including our grades. Allen "the hypocritical heavyweight" Manning is disappointed to see celebrities put on weight. Bobby "Tenacious B" Robinson wonders if the internet is ready for a reverse Rick Roll video. Pretty D-minus expresses his fear of getting fat by association, then steps out to take an important phone call. Don't worry, Bobby and Allen provide play-by-play for it. Also, we come to the realization that Brian is out to spite Tony, and is ultimately saving us from ourselves. #PaulChen #Sunflowers

Our research in the water closet this week has linked a disturbing trend with a country's population decline. Also this week: Allen will tell the government whatever they want to hear, to get that sweet advertising money. DeLiRiOuS refuses to waste his time listening to TV theme songs. Bobby gets none of the benefits when he tries to watch his porn Blu Rays Brian tells unbelievable tales about aliens living on Earth, and a friend that claims he didn't know he was ordering porn.

Today's adventures in the water closet are about visiting hospitals and old comedy topics. Brian's jokes swing to both extremes today, but don't worry, none of his topics are current. A very hearty DeLiRiOuS visits a hospital for the first time, and has a 90s comedy experience. Allen's emergency room visit is deemed unworthy, because no one got ice cream. Director Bobby can't keep any of the sad casting couch footage.

Tony is sick this week, so Bobby, Brian, and Allen the guest, are running the water closet. Into the ground. Instead of Wookie-chuffing at each other, like we normally do when DeLiRiOuS is out, we spend the day giggling at our own jokes, and shamelessly self-promoting our personal projects. Eventually, we discuss the therapy of role-playing games, and the depressing realization that we caused the sad parts of a classic 80s movie. In the end, we're all betas and omegas, pretending to be alphas. Except superactor Jeantonio Vanderas. He's the genetic alpha male. Robocop beat produced by Crank Lucas.