Creating A Family: Talk About Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.One of the hardest parts of being a kinship caregiver is navigating the relationship with the child’s birth parent. We talk with Dr. Joseph Crumbley, a social worker, family therapist, and author of “An Overview of Kinship Care.”In this episode, we cover:Creating a Family listening sessions with kinship caregivers in rural counties.What are some of the complicating factors in the relationship between kinship caregivers and the child’s parents?Grandparents and other caregivers sometimes feel that the child’s parents will threaten them with taking the child away if they do something that the parent disapproves of.How to not enable the child’s parent but still have a relationship.How to set healthy boundaries for the caregiver’s and child’s best interest when you have years of experience not setting healthy boundaries?How to handle others in the family who interfere with the boundaries you’ve established?I don’t know if this is a question, but I r

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Can I use my home study for a different type of adoption?This question arises in the following types of situations. Someone is applying to adopt an infant domestically and gets a home study from a domestic adoption agency. They then decide that they want to adopt from foster care and ask if they can use their domestic home study for foster care adoption. Or, they have applied to adopt internationally and want to know if they can use their international home study for a domestic adoption or an adoption from foster care. Or getting a home study from a foster care agency and wanting to use that for domestic infant or international adoption.Resources:Types of AdoptionAdoption AgenciesAdoption AttorneysSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you an aunt or uncle raising your nephew or niece? Or are you curious about the unique challenges these families face? Check out today's podcast with a panel of four aunts raising their sibling's child.In this episode, we cover:Who are you raising? How old were they when they moved in? How long have they been with you?Didn’t ask for this.Less of a feeling of obligation than grandparents feel.Navigating relations with the child’s parents.Frustration with your sibling (the child’s parent)Long-standing resentment of the child’s parents.Navigating boundaries.Resentment if it’s your spouse’s niece/nephew.Navigating relations between other family members who have an opinion.Raising your own kids while raising your nephews and nieces.JealousiesBehaviors rubbing off on kids already in the familyLack of time for the kids who aren’t acting outComplications of being single and raising nephews and nieces.Putting off having children because of

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I’m a single 38-year-old woman. I’ve always been interested in fostering, but I thought I’d wait until I got married. That doesn’t seem to be on the horizon, and I’m tired of waiting. Is it possible to foster as a single woman? Will it be too hard? I prefer a baby placed with me since I'm new to parenting.Resources:Becoming a Foster ParentFostering as a Single ParentSelf-Care for Foster ParentsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How can something that happened in past generations impact us now and affect the way we parent? Join our conversation with Beth Tyson, a childhood trauma consultant and former family-based trauma therapist. She is the author of the children’s books A Grandfamily for Sullivan and Sullivan Goes to See Mama.In this episode, we cover:What is intergenerational trauma? In essence, intergenerational trauma is the passing of the emotional pain of one generation to another.What are some other names it goes by? (generational trauma, historical trauma, or multigenerational trauma)What types of events can cause intergenerational trauma? (personal and more widespread events)How can trauma that happened 100 years ago impact us now?What are the symptoms of intergenerational trauma that we might see in future generations?How to recognize behavior that is triggering intergenerational trauma?Researchers are also looking into the possible role of “epigenetic chan

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I have been married two years. I'm 44 and he’s 61. Is there an age limit to be able to adopt a baby?Resources:Domestic Infant Adoption (Resource page)Foster Care Adoption (Resource page)Adoption OptionsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.What should you expect when adopting internationally or bringing a child into your home from foster care? Check out our discussion with Dr. Robin Gurwitch a licensed clinical psychologist with close to 30 years of experience in evidence-based treatments and the impact of trauma/disaster/terrorism on children. She is a professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Duke University Medical Center and the Director of Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) and Child-Adult Relationship Enhancement (CARE) Training at the Center for Child & Family Health. She has been a National Child Traumatic Stress Network member since 2001.In this episode, we cover:While there are some distinctions, children adopted from US foster care and children adopted internationally have much in common.We say that the vast majority of children adopted through foster care or internationally have special needs. In addition to the medical or physical

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Resources:Adoption Comparison ChartsAdoption Agencies (Resource page) International Agencies (Creating a Family partners)Types of Adoption (Resource page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Have you ever wondered what adult adoptees really think about adoption? Join us to hear about the Profiles in Adoption: Adult Adoptee Experiences report, based on research by the National Council for Adoption. In this episode, we cover:Who did you interview for the Profiles in Adoption: Adult Adoptee Experiences report, and how did you find them?You separated your responses by type of adoption.How satisfied are adult adoptees in general—life satisfaction?Did they think that adoption could and did work in their best interest? In the best interest of their birth family? In the best interest of their adoptive family?What were their thoughts on openness in adoption?For transracial adoptions: Do you believe your adoptive parent(s) did a sufficient job at discussing issues of race/ethnicity with you?What were their thoughts on whether to allow transracial adoptions?Were adoptees in favor of their families having an annual recognition of adoption?Spec

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We have two boys, ages 10 and 12. We’ve been told that if we become a foster family, the foster children will have to have a room to themselves. Our boys can share a room for another year, but then we want to separate them. Can we just foster for one year? How long do foster kids usually stay?Resources:Becoming a Foster ParentRaising Foster ChildrenWorking with Birth Parents for the Child's Best InterestSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.There is a huge need for foster and adoptive homes for LGBTQ+ youth in foster care. We interview Holly Harridan and Dr. Shelly Ronen. Holly is a Senior User Experience Researcher at Bloom Works and an applied Anthropologist with a background in queer and feminist studies.  Dr. Shelly Ronen is a Senior User Experience Researcher at Bloom Works. She has a Ph.D. in Sociology and specializes in gender and sexuality.In this episode, we cover:Terminology. LGBTQ+, LGBTQIA2S+, queer. What does each of the letters mean, and what is correct?What is the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity? What are some of the unique challenges faced by LGBTQIA+ youth in foster care?What does it mean to have an” affirming” home?Some foster and adoptive parents know in advance that the child that they are fostering or adopting identifies as LGBTQ+, but other times, it is something that they find out later. If they know in advance, what are some things

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I want to adopt a baby. We are working with an adoption attorney, and we have to make a book about us and our lives to be shown to women and girls who are considering adoption for their baby. My husband has full-sleeve tattoos on both arms and on his neck. I am worried that it might be a turnoff for a girl choosing a family. Should we use pictures where his tattoos don’t show to up our chances?Resources:Preparing an Adoptive Parent Profile (video)Creating Your Adoptive Parent Profile (article)How To Create a Compelling Adoption Profile (1 hr. CreatingaFamilyEd.org online course w/ certificate of completion available)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-info

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Does your child struggle with anger, and do you struggle with how to help them? Tune in to our discussion today with Jessica Sinarski, a certified adoption therapist and author of the picture books Riley the Brave and Your Magic Backpack series. She also serves on the editorial board for The Journal of Child and Adolescent Trauma.In this episode, we cover:All kids get angry, in fact, all people get angry, so how do we know if our kid has bigger issues with anger management?Why do kids who have experienced trauma often struggle with anger?Does it matter the type of trauma: abuse, neglect, adoption?Does the prenatal environment that is not ideal (maternal stress, alcohol or drug exposure, poor nutrition) impact a child’s or youth’s emotional regulation?Why do kids seem to overreact—big feelings for what feels like a small issue?What are some typical triggers that elicit big responses?Steps for managing natural feelings of anger. Name with few wor

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I are starting the adoption process, and so I recently reached out to Human Resources at my place of employment and learned that I do not qualify for short-term disability (STD), so I am not eligible for any type of paid time off when baby eventually comes. Are there any advocacy groups working on getting something similar to short-term disability for adoptive parents, where at least some portion of their salary is paid during the leave? I mean, there is research out there on the importance of bonding and attachment for the future health of children! Resources:Dave Thomas Foundation's Adoption-Friendly Workplace program5 Ways Leaders Can Support Adoptive Parents (Article)Movement Advancement Project - State Family Leave LawsCreating a Family Online Support GroupSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to st

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Does your teen seem overly concerned about how they look? Do they seem to overeat or restrict their food intake without worrying about the consequences? This interview with Dr. Charlotte Markey will help. Dr. Markey is a professor of psychology and chair of the Health Sciences Department at Rutgers University, and a research scientist who has published over 100 scholarly articles and chapters about mental health issues. She has been conducting research on eating behavior and body image for over 25 years. She is the author of The Body Image Book for Girls, Being You: The Body Image Book for Boys, and most recently, Adultish: The Body Image Book for Life.In this episode, we cover:What do you include when you speak of body image?I think of it now more about weight, but wouldn’t it include having straight teeth, fewer pimples, and a cute haircut?Have young people always struggled with body image, or is this something new to our modern times?When sh

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I just became a foster parent of a 14-year-old girl. She came with a cell phone paid for by her prior foster family. I told them I wanted to take over payments. I also want to sit down with her periodically and spontaneously and ask her to show me what she’s been doing on her phone while I show her what I do on my phone. I hope she will realize she can tell me anything and that I won’t hide things from her. Is this a good idea? How should I approach it? Do you think it will build trust, or will she resent it? Resources:Managing Technology & Screens (Resource page)Welcoming an Older Child to Your Home (Resource page)Raising Foster Children (Resource page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings yo

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.If you are considering domestic infant adoption, you need to listen to this show to better understand the possibility that the expectant mom may change her mind. Our guest is adoption attorney, Lila Bradley, who has practiced law relating to adoption and child welfare law for the past 20 years.In this episode, we discuss:Distinction between failed match and adoption dissolution or sometimes known as disruption.What is the “typical” process for domestic infant adoption whether the adoptive parents are using an adoption agency or an adoption attorney?When do the adoptive parents legally become the baby’s parents?When can a mom change her mind and decide to parent the baby?Keep in mind that what prospective adoptive parents see as a “failure” very well may be seen as a “success” by the biological parents.Creating a Family resource: Failed Adoption Matches: How Common? How Costly? How to SurviveWhat are some signs that an adoption match may fail an

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I’m a foster-to-adopt mom. I have 3 children. Two have already been adopted, and we are in the process of adopting one. My oldest son, who is 5 years old and turning 6 in Aug, had parental visits, but they were terminated when the parental rights were terminated, and he no longer sees them. It's been a year since the last visit. My daughter never had visits and doesn’t see her bio family, but I send the family a twice-a-year email with photos and updates. My current foster child, who is 4 years old, has once-a-week phone calls with his mom, who is in prison. My 5-year-old son is really struggling with seeing his younger brother getting phone calls with his bio Mom since he no longer sees his bio parents, and it’s hard for him to understand why his brother talks to his mom, but he does not. Each one of my child's stories is very different, but my oldest one notices the differences and doesn't understand why they're

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Does your child have a disability or have some label? If so, you need to listen to this interview with Dr. Deborah Winking, an educational psychologist and a special education teacher. She is the author of Capable: A Story of Triumph for Children the World Has Judges as “Different” and Raising Capable Kids. She is the mother of four, including one adopted child and one child with a neurological disorder.In this episode, we cover:Many of our kids have hidden disabilities caused by trauma. These disabilities can look like so many different things, including behavior problems.You say these 12 habits are to change yourself, not your child. Why?Habit 1: Believe that effort creates abilityHabit 3: Set a vision of capability with your child and adjust it over timeHabit 6: Send capable messages: Use words and act in ways that let your child know that you think they are capableHabit 8: Challenge your child in ways that regularly take them (and you) outs

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I was just asked to take on a Spanish-speaking teen with a baby. Do you have any resources to address fostering a teenager with a language barrier, as well as supporting her in developing adult skills and independence? She comes with a complicated history involving immigrating here on her own. Resources:Welcome an Older Child to Your Home (Resource)Former Foster Youth Voices (Resource)Helping a Child Heal from Trauma (Resource)Support the Show.Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building