Watch The Theron: The Charlize Theron Podcast

We've covered Sweet November before, and we've seen another Keanu/Charlize pairing from her perspective. What will change when we talk about their chemistry for a FOURTH time? It turns out we're all a combination of depressed, frustrated, and confused by how little sense literally every part of this movie makes. Is Keanu Reeves a sociopath? Is Charlize Theron a sociopath? Are they BOTH sociopaths? Why isn't any other character nearly as interesting or as fully realized as Chaz/Cherry? All of these questions -- with very few satisfying answers -- on this episode of Watch The Theron! Email us: watch@cageclub.me

The Legend of Bagger Vance may be (yet another) #problematic example of the "magical negro" trope, but that's far from this film's only fault. Overlong with a clumsy story, The Legend of Bagger Vance's biggest drawback may be not enough Charlize Theron! In this episode, we talk about the squandered use of her character, and how she goes from being a strong character with potential to an object as soon as Matt Damon gets his act together. That's Classic Hollywood for you, and we're getting sick of it. This episode also features many references to Shia LaBeouf and #ALLHISMOVIES, for reasons both obvious... and not! Email us: watch@cageclub.me

If this were a Cuba Gooding, Jr. podcast, Men of Honor might be an all-time great. As it stands, we're facing down yet another movie with minimal Charlize Theron action, yet she still makes every moment on-screen count. She drunkenly stumbles through her scenes in Men of Honor, just as she drunkenly stumbles through the decades this movie covers, as she attempts to tolerate her racist-in-recovery husband (thirty years her senior?), Robert De Niro. May we all be blessed with the patience, tolerance, and liver recovery of Charlize Theron in this movie. Email us: watch@cageclub.me

Is The Yards a near masterpiece or merely an above-average period piece lacking a sense of time and place and starring a mumbly Marky Mark? There's a real division on this episode as we head into Queens to talk about the shady backdoor deals of, I don't know, trainyard stuff? While The Yards could give Charlize Theron more to do, its meticulous pace and Godfather-esque feel elevate it far above most of the dreck we've covered so far on Watch The Theron. How much you love it is to be determined, but with great performances and a strong story, it's definitely one to watch! An important note: For some reason, Joey's audio got really wonky with this one. The first half is good, but the second half becomes a strange experiment in omniscient podcasting. You'll see what we mean. Enjoy! Email us: watch@cageclub.me

Ho, ho, ho... it's time to talk Reindeer Games: a movie we were once going to cover for our Ben Affleck podcast that also happened to fall into Watch The Theron. No matter which actor we're focusing on, one thing is for certain: this is not a good movie. Charlize Theron is on the record, having said it's her least favorite movie she's made. While we've seen her in worse movies to date, it's hard to argue with her. We chat about the strained logic of this film (most of this podcast is us trying to figure out what the plot actually is), the strange character choices, and how lucky we were to dodge the bullet of doing a Ben Affleck podcast. We also unveil a brand new game... let us know what you think about it! Lastly, is there a similarity here between this movie and Con Air? Perhaps! Email us: watch@cageclub.me

Is The Cider House Rules a good movie? That's the key question up for debate in this episode of Watch The Theron. What's inarguable is that it's the most award-decorated film we've covered so far. What's very arguable is whether or not it's a good movie, and whether or not Charlize Theron is good in it. We also talk about how this is a Spider-Friends pre-union, the Adam Scott-esque turn of Paul Rudd from a serious actor to a comedic actor, and an abundance of rappers-turned-actors (heretofore known as raptors) who all hang out and make cider. Also: could this be the last edition of Hollywood Tycoon for a while? All of that -- and much more -- on this episode of Watch The Theron!

Stop me if you feel like you've seen this one before. The Astronaut's Wife squanders a creepy vibe and a strong performance from Charlize in an otherwise muddled, uninspired package. At least we get our first dance scene! That's gotta count for something, right? Too bad that doesn't make up for the series of head-scratching moments and directorial choices throughout the rest of this movie.

Mighty Joe Young is a return to the Disney machine for the #CageClub Podcast Network, and a first stop for Watch the Theron. This movie is remarkable in that it may be the best love story we've seen in a Charlize Theron movie so far, and (to no one's surprise) this relationship does not include Bill Paxton. This movie also features a delightful cameo from a Disney team player, as well as some truly terrible technology: "JOE TROUBLE!!!" We also have a revelation in the Hollywood Tycoon game that's SO SHOCKING that it may cause us to end the segment once and for all. (Just kidding.)

Celebrity is a catastrophe and an embarrassment for every single actor on screen. Covering Woody Allen for our podcasts was always going to be a dodgy proposition, but the immense level of icky-ness in all things here exceeds what we ever could have imagined. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

It's a #CageClub Podcast Network crossover! We'd previously covered The Devil's Advocate for #KeanuClub, but now we're back to talk about Charlize Theron's role in it! Watching this movie from the perspective of Mary Ann Lomax highlights how she's living a horror film no one else is, as well as a life of isolation, loneliness, and despair. Not nearly as fun as watching from Keanu's point of view, but hey! That's Hollywood, I guess.

Trial and Error is saved from being the worst Charlize movie so far... only because we watched Hollywood Confidential last week. Trial and Error is a $2 Walmart bargain bin rip-off of every lawyer movie you've seen -- including one you love by the same director! Join us as we talk about how Jeff Daniels was horribly miscast, how Kramer can't carry a film, and how Charlize Theron was a manic pixie dream girl nearly a decade before that was even a thing.

Few films in the history of the #CageClub Podcast Network have been as bad as Hollywood Confidential. Illogical, incomprehensible, and downright boring, there's absolutely nothing redeeming about this movie. We were on such a roll, too; maybe things will rebound next week with that Jeff Daniels movie. Here's to hoping!

The #HANX Cut of That Thing You Do! features a whole lot more Charlize Theron, which is right up our alley. Clocking in at nearly two-and-a-half hours, this version more clearly shows the disintegration of her relationship with Guy, and her growing fondness for her dentist. But a question: is that dentist really so handsome that she doesn't realize how catchy the title song is? Also, another question: did we uncover a weird tooth fetish growing inside the mind (or mouth) of director Tom Hanks? Lastly, brace yourself for an extended tangent/analogy about how the cash grab nature of the Buffy, the Vampire Slayer DVDs relates to this movie!

2 Days in the Valley transforms Charlize Theron from featured extra to prominent, pivotal character... seemingly overnight! None of the female characters in this movie are portrayed exceptionally well, but Charlize's depiction of an ice cold killer -- complete with a kick-ass fight scene against Teri Hatcher -- made it clear why she'd become a mega-star before too long.

Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest is our network's first true dive into horror -- and campy horror! Charlize Theron is barely in it, but it won't take long before she's a leading lady. This episode kicks off our podcast as we talk about shifting from #ThePahdcast, discuss the awkward difficulties of following an actress through her career, and unveil our first game!

After watching and discussing the filmographies of Nicolas Cage and Keanu Reeves, Joey and Mike turn their focus to an actress who's shared the screen with both: Charlize Theron! She's a romcom sweetheart, a total badass, and everything in between. WHAT A LOVELY DAY.