Creating A Family: Talk About Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care

Did your child experience trauma or loss before they came to you? Do you want to help them heal? Join our conversation with Dr. Amanda Baden, a Professor and the Doctoral Program Director at Montclair State University in the graduate counseling program and a licensed psychologist in private practice in Manhattan. She is an adult adoptee from Hong Kong and an adoptive parent of a daughter from China.In this episode, we cover:What is trauma?What types of events/things create trauma?Why are trauma, abuse, and neglect so harmful to children?Is neglect a form of trauma?How trauma impacts children, and what factors influence how much the trauma impacts the child later in life?How to tell the difference between typical developmental behavior and behavior that is the result of trauma or loss?What is triangulation?How to break the triangle?Helping our kids integrate their birth, adoptive or foster, and self-identities. Many children who do not live with their birth families struggle to incorporate parts of their birth

Have you wondered if you could be the right place for an LGBTQ+ youth or child to land? Join us to talk about how to be an affirming and supportive home for LGBTQ+ youth. Or guest will be Angela Weeks, the Director of the National SOGIE Center at the Institute for Innovation and Implementation. Under the Center, she directs the Center of Excellence for LGBTQ+ Behavioral Health Equity and the National Quality Improvement Center on Tailored Services, Placement Stability, and Permanency for LGBTQ2S Children and Youth in Foster Care.In this episode, we cover:Why are these young people over represented in child welfare?LGBTQ+ youth are 1.5 -2 times more likely to have a foster placement failure. Why?What does the research indicate about how sexual orientation and gender identity are formed?Are LGBTQ+ youth more likely to have a mental health diagnosis or behavioral issues.Are LGBTQ+ youth more likely than heterosexual or cisgender young people to sexually abuse or otherwise pose a threat to others, including child

How do you handle a birth parent showing up to a meeting with the child stoned or drunk? What do you do when a birth parent often breaks promises to the child? Join us to talk about nine sticky situations that adoptive parents often find themselves in. Our guest is Lori Holden, the author of The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole.In this episode, we cover:What do we mean by openness and why is openness or some form of a relationship considered best for adopted kids?Difficult/Sticky Situation #1: Birth Parent Addiction to drugs or alcohol.How to handle things when a birth parent shows up for a meeting with a child high or stoned.How to set healthy boundaries with birth parents who are addicted? How to set these boundaries when you have an open adoption with a birth parent dealing with addiction?Explaining drug addiction of birth parents to children.Difficult/Sticky Situation #2: Failing to show up for meetings/visits or showing up late?Determining the cause.How do you protect y

When should your child get a smartphone? What can you do if your child spends too much time playing video games? How can we protect our kids from the downsides of social media? Join us to talk about parenting and technology with Krista Boan, co-founder of the nonprofit Screen Sanity.In this episode, we cover:Digital Health: Screen Sanity’s 5 Rules of Thumb.Ride, practice, drive” approach for device and app introduction.How to handle a foster, adoptive, or kinship placement of a child that has already gone down that slippery slope of too much screen time and tech. How do you establish reasonable boundaries?Is it still recommended that parents establish a "no expectation of privacy" policy for online activity? At what age/stage should that start to change?How to handle when your family has vastly different rules from your child’s friend’s families when you don’t want your child to feel left out? Screentime:What is a reasonable rule of thumb for how much screen time a child should be allowed by age?Wha

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Kari Dady joins us to talk about applying the guiding principles of Trust-Based Relational Intervention® to typical parenting situations. Kari Dady is a Regional Training & Consultation Specialist with the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development. She is also an adoptive mom who uses the TBRI® approach daily in her family.In this episode, we cover:What is parental attachment style, and how does it influence how we parent?How does trauma affect the developing child? What are some of the different types of trauma that impact a child?What are the core principles of Trust-Based Relational Intervention®(TBRI®)?TBRI® talks about parents needing to make a mindset shift when looking at challenging behavior.  What is this mindset shift?How can parents apply Trust-Based Relational Intervention®(TBRI®) to the following common behaviors:Inability to accept rules, restrictions, or the word “no”Tantrums, WhiningSleep issuesLyingStealingThis podcast is

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you have a child that is more—louder, more energetic, more argumentative, more everything? Intense children can be harder to raise, but their intensity is a gift as well as a parenting challenge. We talk with Howard Glasser, creator of the Nurtured Heart Approach to parenting. He is the author of Transforming the Difficult Child and Transforming the Intense Child Workbook.In this episode, we cover:What do you consider to be an intense child? My child was “more”—more loud, more energy—their reaction to most things was simply more. They go from 5 mph to 60mph in about a second. How to raise the intense child.What are the labels and diagnoses that intense children often accumulate? ADHD, ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder), conduct disorder, PTSD, anxiety disorder, depression.What makes some kids more “intense” than others? What do you mean by energy-challenged kids? Unable to handle or effectively control their physical, cognitive or emotiona

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you worry that your decision to foster or adopt will hurt the kids you are already raising? Check out this podcast with Dr. Jana Hunsley, an Assistant Professor of Instruction at the University of Texas at Dallas, trauma therapist, TBRI® Practitioner, and founder of Project 1025. In this episode, we cover:FosteringWhat are some of the common impacts of fostering on children already in the family? Both potentially negative and positive.What does your research show on how significant and how often children already in the home are negatively impacted by fostering?Should you Include kids in the decision to foster? If so, how does that look at different ages?For children already in the home, is there a better age to start fostering because of their ability to understand what the family is doing?Is it harder to introduce a foster child when there is only one existing child in the home. Do only children have a harder time adjusting?How much informa

What happens when identical twins born in Vietnam are separated by adoption, with one adopted by a US family and one adopted by a Vietnamese family? Join us to talk with Erika Hayasaki, a journalist and author of Somewhere Sisters: A Story of Adoption, Identity and the Meaning of Family.In this episode, we cover:The story.Twin studies.Adoption studies.The similarities of the twins in your story and in twin studies.The differences between the twins in your story and in twin studies.ReunitingHow did the twins' reunion affect them, their family in Vietnam, and their adopted family in the US?Complications that the disparate degrees of wealth caused.Adoptive parents’ role in reunion.Twin studies referenced:Polderman, T., Benyamin, B., de Leeuw, C. et al. Meta-analysis of the heritability of human traits based on fifty years of twin studies. Nat Genet 47, 702–709 (2015). https://doi.org/10.1038/ng.3285Website based on the research cited above: MaTCH. This website provides a resource for the heritability of all

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Have mealtimes become a battleground in your house, is your child a picky eater, or do you have a child who eats too much? We provide lots of tips in our conversations with Dr. Katja Rowell, a family doctor and author of Love Me, Feed Me, 2nd edition, and Helping Your Child with Extreme Picky Eating. She has a special interest in supporting foster and adoptive parents.In this episode, we cover:What are some of the typical food issues for adopted or foster kids, especially those who have experienced trauma?How does trauma impact feeding?Responsive eating leaves space to recognize what the body needs.What do you mean by felt safety and focusing on connection?What is a responsive and flexible framework for feeding kids with brain-based differences?How to best deal with kids who are significantly underweight.How to best handle extreme pickiness.How to handle children who are eating too much, emotional eaters, or who are overweight.Why do kids from

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you planning on claiming the Adoption Tax Credit when you file your taxes this year? If so, this is the podcast for you! We talk with two of the top experts in the US on the Adoption Tax Credit: Becky Wilmoth, an Enrolled Agent and Adoption Tax Credit Specialist with Bill’s Tax Service, and Josh Kroll, the Adoption Subsidy Resource Center coordinator at the North American Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC).In this episode, we cover:What is the Adoption Tax Credit for adoption being claimed on 2022 federal taxes?How to advocate for refundability?What is a “credit” and how does it differ from a deduction or some other form of tax savings?If you get a tax refund every year, how would you use the Adoption Tax Credit?If you don’t have any federal tax liability, should you still apply the credit to your federal income taxes?What types of adoptions are included or excluded? Stepparent adoption? Embryo adoption? Same-sex partner second-parent ad

Are you thinking about adopting this year? You don't want to miss this discussion of how to adopt and current trends in private infant adoption, foster care adoption, and international adoption. Our guests are Chris Peszka, MSW, Regional and District Supervisor at Adoptions From The Heart Adoption Agency, and Robin Sizemore, Executive Director of Hopscotch Adoptions.In this episode, we cover: Domestic infant private adoption in the USWhat is the process?What are the reasons that pregnant moms are placing their child?Open adoptionExpectant parent choiceSpecial needs of children availableHow long does it take? What factors influence this time?How much does it cost? What factors influence this cost?Adoption agency and adoption attorneyWhat is the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they are interested in adopting a baby?Adoptions from foster care in the USWhat is the process?Adopting your foster childAdopting a waiting childWhat are the reasons that children are available for adoption fro

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How do you know when enough is enough? What do you do when infertility treatment and adoption don't end up with you having a child. Join us to talk with Rebecca and Sallyann Majoya, co-authors of the memoir Uncertain Fruit, and Carole LieberWilkins, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist providing individual and couples counseling, as well as psychoeducational consultations, for those moving into alternative paths to parenthood and living child-free.In this episode, we cover:Deciding to live child-free is becoming increasingly common in the US. Research has found that 30 percent of women of childbearing age identifying wanting to live child-free. However, that is not reflective of the people we are speaking to who have likely tried infertility treatment or adoption and it hasn’t worked for them.What is the right name: childfree or childless? Are you childfree by choice or childfree not by choice?Age is less of a biological cut off point

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are adoptive parents eligible for parental leave? What about foster parents or kinship parents? We talk with Dr. Amy Beacom and Sue Campbell, with the Center for Parental Leave Leadership and co-authors of The Parental Leave Playbook.In this episode, we cover:What are the laws and rules surrounding parental leave in the US?Who is eligible for parental leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA)?Parental leave on the company levelHow does parental leave differ from maternity leave paternity leave?Policies that require employees to pay back their parental leave if they do not stay employed with the company/organization for a certain period of time. How does this differ from other countries?Are the laws/rules different for mothers and fathers? Are they gender neutral?Do you receive your salary when you are on parental leave?Does parental leave differ for someone adopting a child?Are adoptive families are protected under the Family and Medi

We talk with Isaac and Julie Etter, a mom and son, about what they have learned about transracial adoption and what they wish they had known at the beginning. Isaac is the founder of Identity, a startup focused on using technology to help adoptive and foster families thrive. Julie Etter is a mom of five and a humanities teacher.In this episode, we cover:Isaac, tell us your adoption story from your perspective. Why were you placed for adoption? What were the first two years of your life like? Where you were raised?Julie, what was your motivation for adopting? Were there other children in the family?What was the racial demographics of your community?Julie, what were you taught about transracial adoption before you adopted?Isaac, how did you identify racially as a young child? When did you start identifying as black?Did you experience racism growing up?Julie, did you see racism directed towards Isaac as a child?Did you tell your parents?Julie, what do you wish you had known before you adopted a Black child? Woul

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How do some kids survive a life of poverty, homelessness, abuse, and foster and eventually thrive? We talk with David Ambroz is a national poverty and child welfare expert and advocate and the author of the memoir, A Place Called Home.  He was recognized by President Obama as an American Champion of Change. Currently serving as the Head of Community Engagement (West) for Amazon, Ambroz previously led Corporate Social Responsibility for Walt Disney Television, and has served as president of the Los Angeles City Planning Commission as well as a California Child Welfare Council member. After growing up homeless and then in foster care, he graduated from Vassar College and later earned his J.D. from UCLA School of Law. He is a foster dad and lives in Los Angeles, CA.In this episode, we cover:Poverty and Homelessness:His story.SchoolWhat made a difference?What should adults who encounter or work with homeless children/youth know?Foster Care:His stor

How much do you really know about your fertility, menstrual cycles, and conception? Join us to learn more with Dr. Joyce Harper, a Professor of Reproductive Science at the Institute for Women’s Health, University College London, and the head of the Reproductive Science and Society Group. She is the author of  Your Fertile Years.In this episode, we cover:Understanding the menstrual cycleUnderstanding the basic of conceptionPredicting ovulationBasics of InfertilityWhat percentage of infertility is caused by the female partner, the male partner, or both?What causes a woman to not ovulate?Initial workup for women who meet the definition of infertilityWorkup for Recurrent Pregnancy LossTreatment Options for Infertility How does the infertility workup differ for the LGBTQ+ community (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Non-binary, Queer, Intersex, Asexual, and Gender Nonconforming Individuals)? This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and ins

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you a foster or adoptive parent whose child is taking mood altering medications or medications to help them sleep? You will learn a lot about these medications and what you can do to make them as effective as possible. We talk with Dr. Adam Langenfeld, a Developmental Pediatrician at Children's Minnesota hospital. He also has a Ph.D. in chemistry.In this episode, we cover:What are psychotropic medications?What are the classes of psychotropic medications? What are some commonly prescribed medications in each class?What mental health issues are these medications addressing?Symptoms of anxiety and depression in children.Situational anxiety or depression. SCARED checklist anxiety Childhood Depression InventoryHow do psychotropic medications work? A basic overview of Psych Pharmacology.Simulation of a brain synapsisHow are medications in each of these classes administered?Does timing of the day matter?How effective is melatonin? Does proxim

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you wonder if your child was prenatally exposed to alcohol or drugs? There may be nothing in the files, but something feels not right? We talk about diagnosing and treating these kids with Dr. Larry Burd, a professor of pediatrics at the University of North Dakota School of Medicine and the Director of the North Dakota Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Center.In this episode, we cover:Most of our audience is foster, adoptive, and kinship parents and professionals. Often they don’t know for sure if a child has been exposed. The US government estimates that about 10% of all children in the US have been prenatally exposed to alcohol or drugs. Do you have a feel for the percentage of children in foster care or who have been involved with the child welfare system? International adoption? Domestic infant adoption?Does prenatal exposure increase the likelihood of a disruption to a foster or adoptive placement? How is prenatal exposure to alcohol detected or d

Are you a transracial adoptive or foster parent? Have you wondered how you can help your child form a healthy racial identity. Does racial identity formation change depending on the race of the child? Today we talk about all this and more with Dr. Gina Miranda Samuels, a professor at the University of Chicago and Director of the Center for the Study of Race, Politics and Culture. She is a transracial adoptee and co-author of the book Multiracial Cultural Attunement.In this episode, we cover:How do children in the US come to understand race at different ages and developmental stages?How early do children develop a racial bias? How early do children associate certain characteristics to race and show a preference towards a person of a certain race? How does transracial adoption or fostering or kinship care impact a child’s understanding of race?How does transracial or transcultural adoption or fostering or kinship care impact children? Racial identity formation: How does being adopted transracially impact the ad

What are the common health issues foster parents and those adopting from foster care should expect? We talk with Christy Street, Program Director of Fostering Health NC, which is a program of North Carolina Pediatric Society.In this episode, we cover:Term “health” broadly to encompass physical, emotional, mental, behavioral, developmental, educational, and oral health.Impact of trauma on kids physical and mental health.Those areas of the brain most affected by trauma, especially early trauma, are those involved in stress response, emotional regulation, attention, cognition, executive function, and memory. An issue with foster care parenting is limited access to health care before entering foster care and lack of knowledge about previous health care. How does this impact care and what can foster or adoptive parents do?The role of transience and uncertainty for kids in foster care provides challenges for foster parents and doctors in providing health care to kids in foster care.ImmunizationsMedicaid Care manage