F**king Sports

In Episode XLIII, Kolsky and Hopkins begin with a celebration of the greatness of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson -- complete with an educated [read: from Encyclopedia Brittanica] explanation of the concept of dramatic irony -- and revisit last week's dick-pic talk, before launching into the sports world for spirited discussions of street violence and the potential pitfalls of media in a capitalist society… It's an awfully light-hearted experience, as you probably guessed -- if we stay on this path, we may take on slavery and the holocaust next week!!! Enjoy!

In Episode XLII, Kolsky and Hopkins have some serious Revising & Improving to do -- which of course leads to a reprise of Van People talk -- and then discuss the arrest and upcoming punishment of Colts' owner Jim Irsay, the cock-y catfish crisis of Paul George (and assorted other dick-pic issues) and of COURSE a bit of March Madness… Is your bracket busted??? DON'T WORRY -- you can still win the Fucking Sports round-by-round keep-watching-the-tournament-and-upping-our-ratings Challenge if you… Aww, who are we kidding, you're fucked. Enjoy!

In Episode XLI, Kolsky and Hopkins discuss some serious social issues as they pertain to the world of the National Football League -- handling mental health and racial epithets with all the care and precision you've come to expect -- before digressing wildly into the pitfalls of living the middle-school thug life and the after-school van life... Come inside, get comfortable and let us cook you some chicken curry -- but first, you have to accept the Four Agrements!!! Enjoy!

In Episode XL.v -- also known as 40.5 -- Kolsky and Hopkins jump in for a quickie, with a little bit of an Oscar recap that's arguably more of an Oscar pre-cap review, and also discuss Mark Cuban's ideas for the NBA Development League and Andrew Hopkins' ideas for a hot new app… This could be particularly useful if you're a professional chef looking to donate your time to a poorly funded internet start-up -- have we got an opportunity for you!! [this might make sense later] Enjoy!

In Episode XL, Kolsky and Hopkins do the best damn recorded-before-the-Oscars-never-to-be-heard-until-after-the-Oscars Oscars Review and Preview in the history of Oscar-related recordings. Then the gentlemen move on to more sports-related topics, including God communicating through numbers and Robinson Cano communicating as though numbers have no meaning… Plus a potential preview of next year's Oscar darling -- The Last Ride of LeMask and Boshman!! Enjoy!

In Episode XXXIX, Kolsky and Hopkins do a bit of housecleaning left over from last week's mobile episode; then they launch into a discussion of the relative merits of the UFC and MMA fighting, break down the bad behavior of a bunch of douche-tastic high school wrestlers and enjoy the vocal and musical stylings of America's Self-Proclaimed Most Patriotic Band… Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave? No, it's folded up and clutched to the chest of a man with terrible hair!! Enjoy!

In Episode XXXVIII, Kolsky and Hopkins use the magic of radio to record a(nother) podcast while Kolsky drives up Highway 5 from Los Angeles to San Francisco. Naturally there are some sound issues, but for the most part it's just an engaging conversation about Michael Sam's announcement, homosexuality in sports (complete with a relevant interview of expert Kevin Lynch), and a bit more football talk surrounding some college rule changes and the disgrace that is Richie Incognito… There is no celebration of Presidents' Day, despite the recording happening on February 17th -- Kolsky and Hopkins will be brought up on charges in front of the House Un-American Activities Committee within weeks! Enjoy!

In Episode XXXVII, Kolsky and Hopkins attempt to handle some serious topics with the respect and consideration that they so rightfully deserve. Beginning with Richard Sherman and continuing into the story of Dr. V's Magical Putter, the intent is to have a thought-provoking (and hopefully well-considered, if not inoffensive) discussion of some of the more hot-button social issues in the sports world. Of course, there's a little bit of time reserved at the end for some multi-species animal-related silliness… Quick pro-tip -- a dog is a man's best friend, but a dog's best friend? That's a horse! Enjoy!

In Episode XXXVI, Kolsky and Hopkins discuss the ins and outs of goat transportation, learning from the mistakes of others, Richard Sherman's behavior and its various implications and some Yankee Stadium scoreboard SNAFUs that literally beat the band… This podcast is the GREATEST podcast in the entire category of sports/comedy podcasts recorded in rented Berkeley homes -- so when you compare us to SOME SORRY PODCASTS LIKE THAT, THAT'S THE RESULT YOU'RE GONNA GET!!!! DON'T EVER TALK ABOUT OUR PODCAST!!!! … … … [Actually for real though, tell a friend.] Enjoy!

In Episode XXXV, Kolsky and Hopkins return from a long layoff -- almost twice as long as they intended -- to discuss many of the absurd sports happenings of the holiday season… From Davone Bess's impressive commitment to the rastafarian lifestyle to more serious issues of crime and violence to more uplifting tales of redemption, frankly this podcast really runs the gamut of vaguely sports-related nonsense. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, so one would imagine that you'll at least feel a positive sense of nostalgia for the first 15 minutes -- the other 50 minutes or so are free of charge!! Enjoy!

In Episode XXXIV, Kolsky and Hopkins recorded a delightful pre-holiday podcast that included a wacky story about Kolsky's misspent youth… Unfortunately, they failed in their weekly verification of audio quality, and said "wacky story" was corrupted in such a way that some of the most titillating bits came through with no context and sounded completely ridiculous, only to end with something to the effect of "… so THAT was a heck of a story!!" before moving on to other news… Luckily, we HAVE recovered the original audio to you, and we present it here, as Fucking Sports Episode XXXIV-and-a-half… Don't tell the cops about anything you hear here, we haven't checked the statute of limitations!! Enjoy!

In Episode XXXIV, Kolsky and Hopkins discuss an NFL player's pot problem, a TV talking head's pomposity problem, and their respective Thanksgiving travails and traditions… It's the last episode of Fucking Sports in 2013, as the boys plan their holiday vacation – be as nice or naughty as you like, just don't expect any fucking presents (besides this podcast, that is)!! Enjoy!

In Episode XXXIII, Kolsky and Hopkins discuss the recent rash of officiating controversy in the NFL, examine the tip of the iceberg on the topic of what makes an activity a sport (or a participant an athlete) and check out a list of the most dangerous golf courses in the world… And just when you thought it couldn't GET any hotter -- five minutes of vagina talk to wrap it up!!! Enjoy!

In Episode XXXII, Kolsky and Hopkins begin with a long discussion of an unnaturally serious topic -- specifically the recent controversy surrounding Damon Bruce's comments about women in sports on KNBR 1050 (in the building where they both work)… It's a little more serious than the average Fucking Sports, perhaps, but much-needed (we think). Then, to lighten the mood, they check in on the youngest (and fattest) NBA teams and bring you a heartwarming story straight from the California judicial system… Stay tuned to the very end for another delightful outtake (and stay out of Andrew's flesh box)!! Enjoy!

In Episode XXXI, Kolsky and Hopkins are at the KNBR studios in downtown San Francisco for a slightly abbreviated episode that includes extensive Revisions & Improvements (featuring 1980's soap operas and Harry Caray) and a new episode of Shit Happens at the High School Level (or at least something like that)… This episode IS two days late, but in a weird twist of the classic idiom it's actually a dollar in surplus!!! Enjoy!

In Episode XXX, Kolsky and Hopkins completely fail to mention that it's FUCKING EPISODE TRIPLE-X... Poor form, gentlemen... Ahem... In Episode XXX, Kolsky and Hopkins enjoy some advice from The Boss, spend some quality time addressing a television commercial that appears to be promoting inter-species breeding experiments, and discuss a Top 25 Baseball Announcers of All-Time list, with special focus on a guy who didn't even deserve the "Honorable Mention" slot that was given to him... Hey Stoney, Fucking Sports spelled backwards is Strop Gnikcuf!!! Enjoy!

In Episode XXIX, Kolsky and Hopkins speculate further on Hopkins' upcoming footrace with Tom Brady, wonder whether Jim Irsay got in Peyton Manning's head, ruminate on the (usually horrible) music that Major League Baseball likes to shove down our throats come playoff time and even bring back Shit Happens at the High School Level for a second straight week (recurring segment, WHAT?!)... As a bonus, today's episode answers a question as old as time, putting to rest one of the great debates in human history: which music-infused, reality-based, competition television show has the best band?!?!?! Enjoy!

In Episode XXVIII, Kolsky and Hopkins briefly revisit last week's QB/Super Bowl topic before moving on to an in-depth discussion of the idiocy of a wide variety of sports-involved personages (Jim Irsay, random internet trolls, Texans fans and the FUCKING St. Louis Cardinals, to name a few) and manage to insult Tom Brady and his wardrobe along the way... Don't forget to be constantly vigilant as you're listening -- after all, DEFENSE WINS CHAMPIONSHIPS!!! Enjoy!

In Episode XXVII, Kolsky and Hopkins educate the masses on some of the more subtextual content of E-40's lyrics in his guest spot with Gucci Mane, then engage in a healthy debate over the finer points of Major League Baseball's Rule 3.16 (and assorted addenda) before rounding things out with a good healthy dose of Kolsky yelling (mostly at the furniture) about a certain perpetually uncomfortable looking NFL quarterback... This podcast has CONSISTENTLY HAD A BETTER COMPLETION PERCENTAGE THAN ELI FUCKING MANNING!!! Enjoy!

In Episode XXVI, Kolsky and Hopkins move on quickly from a generally agreeable discussion about the rapper Drake into heavily sportsy territory on today's program. The baseball playoffs have begun, which brings to mind the question -- "If the baseball playoffs happen and nobody is watching, do they make a sound?" Not really, but seriously -- nobody is watching, what gives? Then they digress into a rabbit hole of insane news on the internet following the trail of a Pirate-fan, unicorn-mask-wearing adult film star, before rounding things out with some classic examples of terrible athlete acting... If Kolsky and Hopkins score 100 points and hold the opposing team under 50% shooting, your ticket stub gets you a free Big Mac (at participating McDonalds locations)!!! Enjoy!