Speculative Grammarian Podcast

New Course Offerings in Linguistics; from l’École de SpecGram, Paris; From Volume CLXVI, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, February 2013 — NEW: Degree in Linguodontics / The Paris campus of l’École de SpecGram is pleased to announce the introduction of a new degree program in Linguodontics. (Read by Les Strabismus.)

The Necessity of Sound Theoretical Frameworks in Linguistic Education; by Noah McMosky; From Volume CLXVI, (166) Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, January 2013 — Theoretical Linguistics has the loftiest of goals, namely the creation of a theoretical framework that can explain the features of all languages. Lamentably, however, the pursuit of this goal is often frustrated by the activities of field linguists, who seem to take perverse delight in presenting data that apparently contradicts whatever theory seems most promising at the time. Sometimes, the data can be reanalysed in a more reasonable fashion, but to this day I remember my bitter disappointment as a young postdoctoral fellow when no amount of analysis would make Welsh and Hebrew yield to the perfectly straightforward prediction of Metasyntactical Heuristics that all VSO languages should be ergative. (Read by Pete Bleackley.)

How They Do It In Linguistics; by James Crippen; From Volume CLV, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, December 2008 — Sociolinguists do it with variety. ... (Read by Trey Jones.)

The Prudent Fieldworker’s Guide to Preparation and Packing—Part II; by Athanasious Schadenpoodle; From Volume CLIX, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, May 2010 — [Editor’s Note. This is Part II of Professor Schadenpoodle’s authoritative guide to preparing for the vicissitudes of fieldwork.] (Read by Keith Slater.)

The Prudent Fieldworker’s Guide to Preparation and Packing—Part I; by Athanasious Schadenpoodle; From Volume CLVIII, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, April 2010 — [Editor’s Note: While Prof. Schadenpoodle has, to our knowledge, only gone on two excursions, he is quite famous in our field for his awareness of, and proactive preparation for, hazards. On six separate occasions, campus security has had to rescue students who inadvertently triggered the defensive perimeter around his office, and two hapless sophomores spent over three days lost in the steam tunnels under the campus trying to find it in the first place.] (Read by Keith Slater.)

On the Meta-Abstractness of the Abstract Abstract; by Métha Maxwell; From Collateral Descendant of Lingua Pranca, October, 2009 — ABSTRACT: Little note has been taken of the linguistically universal logical and empirical implications and consequences that bear crucially on linguistic methodology and meta-processes that arise from E. Maxwell’s 1979 paper, On the Abstractness of Abstractness. (Read by Trey Jones.)

The Abstract Abstract; by Edith Maxwell; From Son of Lingua Pranca, November, 1979 — On the Abstractness of Abstractness / This paper will present new evidence which bears crucially on an empirical question not only directly relevant to the future of generative phonology but also clearly pertinent to the field of linguistics as a whole, as I have shown elsewhere. (Read by Trey Jones.)

Linguistic Deskwork; by H.D. Onesimus; From Volume CL, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, January 2005 — Since the so-called ‘discovery’ of endangered languages, much breathless attention in linguistics has been devoted to the topic of methods for linguistic fieldwork. So much breathless attention, in fact, that our field is in danger of losing its foundational and most critical resource: the linguistic deskworker. (Read by Keith Slater.)

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XL — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined yet again by returning guest Madalena Cruz-Ferreira. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss Twitter Tribes and why biologists shouldn't do corpus linguistics, and then make a number of particularly humorous prescriptivist confessions.

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXXIX — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined again by returning guest Madalena Cruz-Ferreira. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss angry texting orthography, and then attempt to lend a helping hand to non-academics.

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXXVIII — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined yet again by returning guest Tim Pulju. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss automating historical linguistic reconstructions, and then discuss ideas for new linguistics- and language-themed holidays.

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXXVII — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined by returning guest Tim Pulju. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss cross-linguistics differences in language acquisition (with special references to lemurs) and share some more Randomata. Also, identify the Secret Word of the Day and email Trey (@SpecGram.com) within a week of the episode's release for a chance to win a free copy of The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics!

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXXVI — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined again by guest Jason Wells-Jensen. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss the pointlessness of baby talk compared to the pointlessness of lemur screeches, and review more comprehensive exam questions. Also, identify the Secret Word of the Day and email Trey (@SpecGram.com) within a week of the episode's release for a chance to win a free copy of The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics!

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XXXV — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined by guest Jason Wells-Jensen. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss the wisdom of trying to revive “Indo-European”, and partake in some Linguistic Parlor Games. Also, identify the Secret Word of the Day and email Trey (@SpecGram.com) within a week of the episode’s release for a chance to win a free copy of The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics!

Old Professor Hockett; by James Riley Whitcomb; From World of Language, Volume I, Number 2 of The Journal of the Linguistic Society of South-Central New Caledonia, February 1991 — Old Professor Hockett came to our school one day, / To teach us some linguistics and earn a little pay. / More accurately, history was what he taught us all / In 1989, as the leaves began to fall; / And all us graduate students, when the clock struck one, / We’d gather in the classroom and have the mostest fun / A-listening to the stories that Hockett told about / And the Chomskyans that gets you / If you / Don’t / Watch / Out! (Read by Keith Slater.)

Annual Realgedankenexperiment Grant; by the Journal of Forbidden Experiments; From Volume CLXVII, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, April 2013 — Once again, the Journal of Forbidden Experiments is accepting applications for its Annual Realgedankenexperiment Grant, underwritten by the generous donations of the Van Tricasse family. (Read by Trey Jones.)

The Texas World Cultural Festival and Poetry Recitation Competition; by Damian Grammatical — I’m Damian Grammatical, Radio Highbrow’s Culture Correspondent based in Austin, Texas. On Saturday, the 18th of October, 2014, the Texas World Cultural Festival and Poetry Recitation Competition was held in Corsicana, Texas. The day began with the “Not Square But Just as Interesting” ethnic dance exhibition, which featured such dances as the Viennese waltz and the Argentine tango. (Performed by Mark Brierley, Jason Wells-Jensen, Insook Kim, Brandy Graham, Les Strabismus, Mikael Thompson, Joyce Almaguer-Reisdorf, Trey Jones, Bill Spruiell, Tim Pulju, Bethany Barber, and Georgina Hall.)

The Definition of Progress; by Sam Crusemire; From Volume CLXVI, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, February 2013 — The average member of Richmond’s “jeunesse dorée” will be delighted to discover that our university plans to release its own “Dictionary of the English Language”. Over the course of a few decades, the Departments of English, Classics, and Modern Literatures and Cultures developed the dictionary, considering Webster pedantic and the OED too wordy. (Read by Trey Jones.)

Using NLP to Defeat NLP; by The Γραμματο-Χαοτικον; From Volume CLXV, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, October 2012 — We are the Γραμματο-Χαοτικον, an underground alliance of linguists, philologists, and polyglots. Our self-appointed role is to encourage arbitrary and capricious change both in Language and among languages, world-wide. Our exploits are legion, and now reasonably well documented (see “The Γραμματο-Χαοτικον Manifesto”, SpecGram CL.4). (Read by Trey Jones.)

Important Idioms in Contemporary Science; by Metalleus; From Lingua Pranca, June, 1978 — Text: (28) is very likely a universal constraint. / Read: I know, for sure, that (28) works for English, French, and certain Lolo-Burmese dialects. (Read by Trey Jones.)