Those Damn Ross Kids

Kris and Kole talk about self reliance, chidren's television, and historical fiction. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Beer, meat, and lookin' good. Sexting advice. Jenny McCarthy: Known dendrophiliac. Bronyshopping. The biggest gummy worm. Cincinnati newswoman vs. Rachel Maddow. What it takes to get fired from Coldstone Creamery. The Science Zone: Dreams and Memory. Escalating the situation. Ku Klux Klown. Sally Field, Lincoln's mom.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about samurai, reptiles, and perversion. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: That's a show. An intermittent Kole. Blind elderly samurai. Sunscreen burn. Coupon-funded first dates. Reptile Van. Talk to the freezer. THE SCIENCE ZONE: Put that good poop in your butt. Retribution. Monkey gnaw. Some men are called perverts in their time.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about Jungle Jim's, celebrity sex, and conspiracies. SUGGESTED TALKING POINTS: Robot Podcast. Jungle Jim's. Liz Taylor, Ronald Reagan, Vivian Vance, Frank Sinatra, and Unsolved Mysteries. Roaches for Glory. "Some girls __ easy". Meningitis Sex Line. Casey Anthony Illuminati Conspiracy. BindersFullofWomen.com. Son of God? Not insane.

The longest Kris. Expanding and contracting. Skidmark Dora. Kole got an iron. The Drudge Factor and the Huffpo'boy. The Day the Beats Died. The law that outlawed smiles. Stay off the liquid nitrogen (Gastro-Dub). Return of the Butt Chug. When the internet hugs you. When the internet tattoos you. Chinese nipple regulations.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about courage under duress, the last circus, and routines. Suggested Talking Points: Cinder block rights. Corn maize. Kris's basement disaster. Missing adults. Two cars in every garage, and a chicken in every mailbox. Fois gras on a toothpick. A dangerous paraplegic with a pen. Natural Hunka Kaboomski. The Nine Ring Circus, and inadvertent juggalo fanfic. Craigslist: Manbaby for Unwilling Mommy. Sifl and Olly are back. Why Kole doesn't use handrails. Girls can't throw. Born on the NASCAR circuit. Pete and Pete Style. The sound and the fury of sexing at gunpoint in a moving car after a fistfight and a crash. The McRib is not back.

Excuse the audio quality in this week's episode. We couldn't record, so we had to dig up a lost episode. We did the best we could. Sorry. Suggested Talking Points: The lost. 86. A spoiled little emperor. How pandas piss. Terminally awesome. Indian giving. Looking for myself. Has Anybody Here Seen Wally? Rockapella. I thank God for this assault. Timmy Planked Grandma. Smokin hot ladies. Circumcision freakonomics. Your name is assault, little kid. Deaf mom. Quit playing with your clay and stop Hologram Nixon. THE SCIENCE ZONE: Binge drinking in college is fun. Your product broke my dick.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about radiant heat, rapping dogs, and toddler pugilism. Suggested Talking Points: Acrylic Mink. Warming my hands on your genitals. Toddler Fight Club. An endless digression about Parappa the Rapper. Social Security hollow points. Innocent child backpack. Sexting statue. Telemarketer bomb threat. A look back at a lost episode. Drink science. Stunted growth. On the bright side, it doesn't get any worse. Cocaine Grandma.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about old TV shows, obsessing, and fears (again). Suggested Talking Point: BITS. What a to do. Kole messed up. Shoot the moon. Winnie Cooper is a math lady now. Oktoberfest in danger. Scientologists take Nam. Detergent pod danger. The chicken blood story. White trash mimosa and the complete breakfast solution. The bear intrusion crucible. I call Dan Akyroid "The Aks". The Science Zone: Acknowledging Your Fears. Antivenin. Dromes carrying chicken blood.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about the gay underground railroad, vitamin back, and jail booty. Suggested Talking Points: Offending dolphins. Kris is growing as a person. Take away the gay babies (Life is hard when you are strange). GPS Shoes. Beer for my back (on the streets). Dumpster Nap (So Compact). You're going to hate this bench. Spider explosion heat wave. Possum vs. Shovel. Bury me in this ball. Light Saber Dojo (Dough Joe?).

Wherein those damn Ross Kids talk about family, compromise, and being cool. Suggested Talking Points: Keep it rolling. The Blowjob Fairy (not intended to be a slur). The Gathering of the Juggalos. 2012 Election Watch: Domain Name Wars. Tractor Rampage/Killdozer. Slam Dunks, Fireworks, and Eagles. There's no knowing where we're going (Goodbye, Mel). School bans pregnancy. Science Zone: What's Cool? I Used to Do This for Allah, Now I'm Saving Room for Pizza Hut (Jesus was a Mega Couponer). Man with machete: "Where's my money!?" (The Machete Spotter).

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about mysterious gunwomen, very public restrooms, and recreation. Suggested Talking Points: Female boxers in the Phillipines. Mysterious possibly Asian gunwoman. That gator bit your hand off, you fed him. "I Cannot Be Tazed, Because I am the King of China." Poopscalators. Pooping in Brooklyn. Trampoline Parks. Pie in my pants. Peg-Leg Bates. Jon Daly: Lemonade and Beer. Wasn't I married to you? Please arrest me. Playplace Overdose.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about doing your job, bad booze, and cutting your own hair. Suggested Talking Points: Kris was late. Heavy on the banter. Russian religious hooliganism. Math is hard, so stop it. How to Get Licensed to Do Your Job: Show You Can Do Your Job (Or: The First Rule of Woodshed). Jeremiah Weed Lightnin' Lemonade. SCIENCE ZONE: Suicide Termites. Flags on the Moon. Shotgun Cow Wedding. I cut my own hair. Godless lobster truths.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about tubing, psychopaths, and foot enthusiasts. Suggested Talking Points: WKOLE. More cowbell, less cowbell. Can ban. Chinaman penis removal. Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. Road-bound animal killers. A War on Satanists. I'm here with you. Tasty toes. Cougars check backs. Cyborg eyes. Real Fetus Hoarders of the Ukraine.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about bee stings, empathy, and adventure. Suggested Talking Points: Talking Jive. Summer Rental. 50 Cent: The Goose. Grift of the Magi. Bee stings. Mini golf water hazard (fatal electrocution). Smart phone work addiction. You won’t save these people I killed. Leap Second. Looks can be deceiving, I’m just shaving my pubes on the highway. Two holes in one. Kris shares another story about horrible murder. A multimillionaire adventurer arsonist suicide.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about Scott Baio, urination, and Blank Check. Suggested Talking Points: Are you the same person? Power outage survival strategies. Responsible talking urinal cakes. The Bigger Lebowski. Public urination billboard. Salvation Army: “Kill All Gays”. Cologne bans circumcision. Prison Lock Games. Discriminating against Macs. Porn-induced headaches. SCIENCE ZONE: Rock, Paper, Robot. Poetic Justice. Mitt Romney: Professional Fetus Disposal Expert. How’s Your Justice?

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about identifying bodies, brewing, and legislation. Suggested Talking Points: You interrupted me. A groping of opportunity. Tattooed Grandsons. I ain’t no CSI. Shot through the Brain. Someone is doing terrorism against my vagina. Beard beer. Hookers and Hacks. Never lost a duck. Noiseless karaoke. North Korean Doom Hotel. Don’t say the V-word.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about chairs, condiments, and how awful the both of them are. Suggested Talking Points: Mystery sound. Reagan’s blood. Sorry, Chair. SCIENCE ZONE: Ketchup Lube. Constantly Covered with Cats. 20 gauge Super Soaker. Israel’s new weed. Arizona outlaws trolling (Thanks, Andrew). Throwing your teenage son under the gay internet porn bus. Hot dog sex work (Thanks, Andrew). Everyone wants American sauce. Chinese kiss savior. Cows crashed my party. News roundup.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about cannibalism, dolphin parties, and creamy middles. Suggested Talking Points: Beard scratching contest. Late-night karaoke murder. Eat my face (Via Sasha). Sharp Dressed Pig. Ferris wheel for downs. Dub step dolphins. BMW perma-rection. Praise the lord and pass the rattlesnakes. She’s trying to kill me with sex.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about universes, urine thresholds, and salad. Suggested Talking Points: Hat envy. Willy Wonka = George Bush? SCIENCE ZONE: Black Holes, Singularities, and Infinite Universes. Don’t piss on that fish. FTC: Stop Dressing Like Ed McMahon. What is your warning label? The Zoloft Defense. Syringe bank robbery. Vegas Strip Steak. Death by salad. Organic assholes. The end of D.A.R.E. Angry Birds Jewelry.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about religious figures, phantom limbs, and murder. Suggested Talking Points: A little hot. The Dalai Lama is afraid of flying. Porn City. Catheter catastrophe. Spin cycle. I filled out the horse. Pron/m. Library courtesy call. Moms on the phone during sex. Chinese water murder. Yannic cave art. Mock real crash.