Those Damn Ross Kids

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about our sick society, rubicons, and sexpresso. Suggested Talking Points: Podcast defense system. Props to the homebrew. Why not, let’s talk about gay marriage. Family friendly prison uniforms. World War II vet marries for first time (Tuesdays with Hoary). Wrong (magic) dentures. Notable Quotables: Reagan. Mormon Apocalypse Horde. We’ve banned Russia. Kole’s Self Esteem Minute. Can’t compliment a lady on her looks. Holy Shit There’s a Hornet. All bets are off with crack. Carmen Sandiego is banging Waldo. Indian farmer woman crosses the rubicon. Quiz: Pee Wee’s Big Adventure Trivia. Dabbling in eugenics.Yoga bathroom peeper. Zumbaga. Moral Guardians vs. Sexpresso. T-Shirt Code. Cat burglar. Doggy DNA. Mr. Givemespit. Hank Hill is a high-functioning autistic. Kris’s Self Esteem Minute.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about genetic engineering, body image, and the digerido. Suggested Talking Points: Word pairings. Shit for distance. How he wanted to go: crushed by a tractor. Schroedinger’s septic truck. Bull semen shuts down highway. Bulletproof skin and the Spider-Goat. The Golden Gate Net. American Apparel is looking for The Next Big Thing. The great yogurt kidnapping. Social networking and drugs. Drink this fracking fluid. Diamond Planet. The digerido cures snoring. Chocolohic fish. Jumblery. Pizza Roll thermodynamics.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about extreme coupling, breaking up, and flash mobs. Suggested Talking Points: Too drunk for a demolition derby. Deep fried burger. The best (worst) neighbor. If you’re driving shirtless, you’re guilty. Extreme couponing and newspaper theft. Tomes of bigotry. Free burrito summer. Home circumcision. The Rosses formerly known as brothers. The King is gone, but he’s not forgotten. The Bite Counter. The soon-to-be fattest woman on Earth. Machine Gun Kelly brings the rage back. Beau the Math Dog. Explosions in the Sky show cancelled due to 9/11. Condom-filled acorns. Fisherman catches a SCUBA diver.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about elementary school, werewolves, and party mistakes. Suggested Talking Points: Taking my ball in glowing home. Elementary School. Teacher pees in classroom in front of kids. Man pays medical bill with pennies. Dropping dimes defined. Chubby cats for sale. Sidestepping the obvious joke. The Darwin Frog. Science Zone: Werewolfism. Quiz: Grammy Nominee, Oscar Nominee, or Dickie Nominee? Facebook Party Mistake. Homeless Prom Queen. The perils of tribal law. Reinventing the doorbell. Rat Convention. Balloon Boy Balloon Auction. Sausage Addiction.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about unconventional love, bodily fluids, and the terrifying ocean. Suggested Talking Points: The Soundtrack of Summer 2011. Daddy I’m Having a Hard Time. Park bench love and the everlasting terror boner. Picnic table love. Sex on the diving board. Hackers revive Tupac. What’s Up Your Butt? Blood stew. Spot the Fake Culture-bound syndrome. Man spits feces at cop. Archaic Weapon Corner: Girl Shoots Dad With Bow. Science Zone: Deadly Sea Creature. Study: Women find happy men less attractive. The Cincinnati Please. Man crucifies self. Collections. Were-Seinfeld. Wrestling.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about festivals, brand loyalty, and genius. Suggested Talking Points: Shirtless. Chinese breast tea. Piss jugs in the ice cream truck. The sniper prank. Spot the fake festival. Mechaphilia. Brand loyalty kills friendships. Calvin Silhouette. If you make fun of my STDs, I’ll run you over with my car. Man injured while car surfing. The inscrutable raft emergency and the novella controversy. Contraband balogna and the roll-ups. Charging school lunch. Watermelon land mines. SCIENCE ZONE: The genius gene. Australizealand Jesus. Guinness denies circumcision record and the multitudinous uses for foreskin.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about poorly translated branding, the Challenger Deep, and amateur dentistry. Suggested Talking Points: High Energy. Lost in Translation. Eight Year Old Botox. The List. Sexting, Blackmail, and Cream of Sexism. The world will end on May 21. I could be down with polytheism. Spot the Fake Porn. The Science Zone: Challenger Deep. A suitcase full of baby leopards. Lazy Cakes. Amateur Dentistry. Sucker Rain. Kenyan Kickboxing Grammas.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about the naked chicken bandit, drunk texting, and physical challenges. Suggested Talking Points: New microphones. The show is too long. Happy Meals. Marketing to flash mobs. Hotel mourning Osama bin Laden? The beard vow. Bestiality everywhere. BBWs are wrecking your children’s lives. The naked chicken bandit. Recite Super Troopers. Three frogs in the convertible. Plague. Mother’s day. Kole’s bold new drug policy. Pistol-whip the mommy. Blood alcohol levels. Drunk TXT App and the Physical Challenge. The Home Alone House. The Japanese Kissing Robot. Radiation Talk. Moon the Train. What About Bob? Why are kids so afraid of bees? Secret passageways. 50 year old woman buys her 80 year old father a hooker.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about taking a punch for a buck, asian cuisine, and fear of puppets. Suggested Talking Points: Don’t lie to me. Shower treadmill. Bringing back Home Alone. Man in panda suit takes punches for a buck. Persistent genital arousal disorder and the magical ice-cream machine. Chiddy Bang and the Freestyle Rap Record. Three Dick Liquor. Chinese Spring Eggs. Urine-soaked cough drops. Spot the fake study. Blood Creek. Ghengis Khan: The Greenest Despot. The Burrow. Dos Grandes Argumentos. Officer, hold on for a second while I grab some drive through. Bloodfire. Terrified of Puppets and the Snuggle Bear.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about tax season, insomnia, and snake bites. Suggested Talking Points: Sweat Lodge. Submarine Races and Nautical by Nature.* Drunk Toddlers. Reverse custody battle. What is a human life worth. Florida has a government? A frank discussion about abortion. Why should PETA neuter you? Walking your dog, driving your dog. Won’t kiss me? I’ll shoot you. Eagle attacks dog. The Lord is in a Cuyahoga county jail. Cropdusting Pakistan with Tickle Me Elmos. Spot the Fake Mental Disorder. Anonymous slander site. WWII Spyjinks. Pig cosmetic surgery and the ten yard taint. The Cincinnati Cow. He maced a tiny baby squirrel. The Great Urine Heist. Blood Perfume.

Wherein those damn Ross kids get serious about human life, the elderly, and Sesame Street. Suggested Talking Points: Sweat Lodge. Submarine Races and Nautical by Nature.* Drunk Toddlers. Reverse custody battle. What is a human life worth. Florida has a government? A frank discussion about abortion. Why should PETA neuter you? Walking your dog, driving your dog. Won’t kiss me? I’ll shoot you. Eagle attacks dog. The Lord is in a Cuyahoga county jail. Cropdusting Pakistan with Tickle Me Elmos. Spot the Fake Mental Disorder. Anonymous slander site. WWII Spyjinks. Pig cosmetic surgery and the ten yard taint. The Cincinnati Cow. He maced a tiny baby squirrel. The Great Urine Heist. Blood Perfume.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk about playing vampire, the end the universe, and gangsta math. Suggested Talking Points: The Sneeze Coach. Evil Robert Duvall and Monkey Paw Soup. Bullshit and the American hero. Breast milk ice-cream and the Cold Stone Horror.Playing Vampire and trying that murder stuff. The snappy hat and the inventor of Superglue. Prejudiced birds. The Falconer’s Son. Sinkholes. How the universe will end. Survival Quiz. Camel Fights. AOADHD and RLS. The dopamine factory. Gangsta math.

Wherein those damn Ross kids evangelize about clown crime, cryptozoology, and cash. Suggested Talking Points: Give me all the sauce. Soul Patch Albinism. Andy. Doppelganger. Phantom poop and the Clown Burglar. Drink, Drive, Sext. Ninja Crime. River City Ransom. Advertising for confession. Clown crime continues. Dine and dash. Backward Feet Man. Sacrelicious. Urinating in a mason jar. Sexy kids, continued. Hatchet. Man Cave. School on a Saturday. The last good generation. Mom of the week. Trapster. Cryptozoology Corner. Hunter S. Bigfoot. Chupacabra. Who Farted?: Long Island Edition. Ms. San Antonio reinstated. Corey Dead. Only drug dealers carry cash. Acronyms added to the OED. We’re done. The time I saved Warren G’s life.

Wherein those damn Ross kids whine about bacon, huffing, and the Truman Show Delusion. Suggested Talking Points: Inspirationcast. Bacon products. Woman hit twice in same intersection. House set on fire twice in the same day. Inventors who were buried in their inventions. Kole spills his beer. Haircuts and gun permits. Sexy babies. Ms. San Antonio ate too many tacos. The Smut List. There is no verb associated with Facebook. Grandma gets a toilet paper holder lodged in her neck. Adults are huffing more. Condom and receipt found in milk carton. Our first guest? Truman Show Delusion. I’m the producer. Piss Dragons unite, the revolution is now.

Wherein those damn Ross kids hesitate about spaniards, fake deaths, and laser targeted advertising. Suggested Talking Points: Today’s podcast tomorrow. Gone Hookin’. Supermoon. Sex Quiz. Sexual Tension Quiz. HPV and the Surgeon General’s Warning tattoo. The government is taking away your right to send your kids to faith healers. Persecute the Spaniards and ban the Irish t-shirts. Miss Snake Charmer vs. Ms. Bear Baiter. Hey dipshits, don’t travel to Japan. Outrageous toll bill. Spot the fake death. Jeff Ruby’s and the party barge. Redneck Yacht club. Mr. Giggles TS and the destruction of the media. Rubber toy hand grenade and the evacuation. Hey you, chief. Is Darryl Strawberry dead? The King of Lambs in the Pizza Oven. Laser targeted advertising. I’m gonna say some cliches here. Gimme five fingers.

Wherein those damn Ross kids get real about mayonnaise disasters, teaching your kids to write backwards, and alien bacteria. Suggested Talking Points: Therapy. Good Christian Bitches. Grinch Syndrome. Appropriate deaths, e.g being extruded through a fine metal mesh. Mayonnaise disasters. Condiment crime spree. Sriracha. Poor Stephen. Pump the brakes on the misogyny. Teach your kids to write backwards. Sky heist. More Charlie Sheen. The CostCo Wedding Dress. Life on earth originated in space. Almost 30. Getting real. The American Dream is as dead as Cotton Hill. The Seinfeld of Podcasting. 7&Gin.

Wherein those damn Ross kids expectorate about iScream, time dilation, and poor baby Connor. Suggested Talking Points: Don’t treat our listeners like idiots. The age of consent in Idaho. iScream. Screaming in the car. I need a gavel. The point that moths serve. Goats on I-5. Green Play-Doh. The K-NEX incident and losing control of my face. More personal arson. Only 50 websites. Time dilation. Unusual deaths. How do you kill a space shuttle? The world is ending. Charlie Sheen. Freaked by a drunk retard. Kris makes a noise. Baby in a bank vault. Little baby Connor.

Wherein those damn Ross kids have a frank discussion about kinky two year-olds, falconry, and technological singularity. Suggested Talking Points: Hey Dum Dum. Kinky 2 year olds. NO MORE BATS. Flame broiled Bumfights. Thesis. Kid exchange rate. Working the corner for grades and a Fresca. Jerky Spree. Kevin Bacon and the Invisible Micropenis. Three Story Cross. Touchdown Jesus and Robot God. Ghost rocks. Kittycicle. Goldfish drowned. A frank discussion about falconry. Synthetic hummingbirds. Gonorrhea Monsters and Day Drippers. The Bridge Theory and Genetic Hegemony. Circus Birth. I Love.

Wherein those damn Ross kids talk themselves dizzy about Rookie of the Year, Cousin Oliver, and Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. Suggested Talking Points: Karaoke Cannon. Kevlar Underpants Protect Our Soldier’s Seed. The K-Mart Inside Job and Selling Kole’s Ass. Prosthetic Limbs Banned from High School Baseball. Rookie of the Year and Blank Check. The American Dream is Dead. Ronal Reagan isn’t 100, he’s dead. Not going to sing like Fred Durst. Marauding Pig Tribes. Cousin Oliver = Chitlins. Splenda Tumor Sugar Death. The World Ends Abruptly. Stallone is cosmic law. Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. Feeding the boner monster. Hitler’s Desk Set. Christopher Elkin died in a houseboat. KKK License Plate. Stripper Teacher. Snow Casket.

Wherein those damn Ross kids drop bombs about Facebook Envy, Christian Side-Hugs, and burial rituals.