Legally Clueless

What if “treating yourself” isn’t indulgence but a psychological necessity? In this week’s Mid Week Tease, Adelle reflects on how she’s learned to intentionally place joy into her life, especially around birthdays. From solo stays by the pool with poetry and silence, to beach days and bicycle tours, this episode explores why joy deserves to be planned, not postponed. Drawing from personal ritual and psychology-backed research, Adelle unpacks why joy plays a critical role in emotional regulation, resilience, and healing, particularly for women who have been conditioned to survive instead of savor.You’ll also hear insights inspired by the work of Barbara Fredrickson, whose research shows that positive emotions don’t just feel good they broaden our thinking and build long-term emotional strength. This episode is an invitation to stop waiting for permission to enjoy your life, and to start treating joy as maintenance not a reward. In this episode, we explore:Why treating yourself isn’t about luxury, but nervous s

In Episode 363 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, Kenyan stand-up comedian Rahab Kihuha shares Part 1 of her powerful story, a deeply honest journey through grief, addiction, mental health struggles, and the unexpected role comedy played in her survival. Rahab opens up about losing her father, using alcohol to cope with pain, feeling emotionally unseen, and how stepping onto a comedy stage for the first time helped her transform shame into laughter. What began as a way to numb pain slowly became a form of healing and a path toward purpose. This episode explores:Grief and how it shows up in the bodyAddiction as a coping mechanism, not a moral failureUsing humour as armour and medicineMental health struggles among African womenHow creativity can become a lifeline before it becomes a careerConnect With Legally Clueless Africa

In this episode of Difference She Makes, we turn our focus to policies, the internal rules that determine whether institutions protect people in practice or only on paper. Adelle Onyango is joined by Zikhona Ndlebe, a South Africa–based judicial governance expert who has worked at the heart of policy reform within the legal system. Zikhona helps us understand why policies are not just administrative tools, but powerful mechanisms that shape culture, accountability, and safety, especially for women. This conversation unpacks how sexual misconduct has long existed in legal institutions even when it was never formally named, why denial protects systems more than people, and how policy gaps leave survivors without recourse. Zikhona also explains why timing matters: when harm occurs before a policy exists, justice becomes far more difficult to achieve. We explore:Why internal workplace policies matter as much as laws and constitutionsHow power, silence, and denial operate inside legal institutionsThe real-world co

Pregnancy and postpartum don’t just change a woman’s body they change her mind, her strength, and her sense of self. In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango is joined by Winnie Okoth, elite CrossFit and Olympic weightlifting athlete and coach, for an honest conversation about postpartum realities we rarely prepare women for. Winnie shares her personal experience navigating:Postpartum panic attacks and mental health strugglesGrieving the body and strength she once hadTraining, coaching, and showing up while feeling disconnected from her bodyPostpartum injuries women are told are “normal” including pelvic pain, back pain, and core separationThe pressure to “bounce back” and how it quietly harms womenLearning to start again from ground zeroWhy breathwork is foundational for healing the nervous system, core, and pelvic floorThe power of community in postpartum recovery and motherhoodThis episode is for women who are pregnant, postpartum, supporting new mothers or unlearning the idea that healing s

Many women don’t struggle because they’re “too emotional.”They struggle because they’ve learned to abandon their emotional needs to keep connection. In this episode of Mid Week Tease, we explore the quiet, often invisible ways women self-silence in romantic relationships, friendships, and family not because they lack needs, but because expressing them once felt unsafe. This conversation unpacks emotional self-abandonment, where it comes from, how it shows up across relationships, and the psychological cost of constantly choosing harmony over honesty. Drawing from attachment theory, trauma-informed psychology, and family systems theory, this episode offers both language and tools for women who are tired of disappearing to be loved. In this episode, we explore:What emotional self-abandonment actually looks likeWhy many women minimise, over-give, or stay silent in relationshipsHow early attachment patterns shape emotional self-silencingEmotional labour and the pressure to be “low maintenance”The role family syst

In Episode 362 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, we share Part 2 of William Genga’s story, a Kenyan man who chose to be childfree and eventually underwent a vasectomy at 27, after years of being dismissed, questioned, and denied autonomy over his own body. In Part 1, William spoke about realising early in life that he did not want children, being parentified as a firstborn, navigating pregnancy scares, and the emotional toll of reproductive responsibility.In this episode, he takes us deeper, into what happened after he finally acted on that decision.William opens up about:Finally accessing a vasectomy after years of refusalThe physical procedure and recovery including complicationsThe emotional weight of secrecy, judgement, and silenceHis mother’s reaction and the grief that comes with unmet expectationsThe relief of bodily autonomy and living without fear of unintended parenthoodWorkplace discrimination against childfree peopleWhy he chooses not to disclose his vasectomy publiclyFinding community with other c

Kindly take this short survey, your responses help shape future episodes of Difference She Makes and track how these stories are landing:https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/diffshemakes Kenya’s 2010 Constitution is often praised as one of the most progressive in the world, but a constitution alone does not create justice. People do.In this opening episode of Difference She Makes, host Adelle Onyango sits down with Anne Ireri, Executive Director of FIDA Kenya, to explore how women helped shape Kenya’s constitutional journey and the everyday work required to protect those gains.Anne reflects on her full-circle journey from intern to leader, the behind-the-scenes resistance women faced during constitutional reform, and why vigilance is essential to prevent gender equality from being watered down by culture, politics, or complacency.This conversation goes beyond legal theory to ask a deeper question:What does it really take to turn “We the People” into lived reality especially for women and girls? In this episode, we

What happens when shame quietly teaches you to perform instead of be? In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with Kenyan comedian, activist, and writer Justine Wanda for a deeply honest conversation about shame, identity, adoption, grief, and unlearning survival modes. Justine shares how growing up adopted shaped her sense of belonging, why humour became a shield, and how much of her early life, from school to university, was spent performing to avoid being questioned or exposed. She reflects on the slow breaking of that performance, and the relief that came with realising that everyone is carrying their own invisible struggles. This episode explores:How shame can turn your entire life into a performanceUsing humour as protection and survivalIdentity after adoption and lossNavigating grief, belonging, and chosen familyLetting go of who you had to be to surviveLearning to be seen without performingThis is a conversation for women who have ever felt like they had to be funny, fine, or

Setting boundaries is often framed as empowering and it is.But what we don’t talk about enough is what comes after.The quiet.The emotional exhaustion.The loneliness that settles in when you stop over-giving, over-explaining, and abandoning yourself for the comfort of others. In this Mid Week Tease episode, Adelle Onyango explores the rarely discussed emotional aftermath of boundaries, especially for women who have spent years being the strong one, the reliable one, the emotionally available one. This conversation is not about “how to set boundaries.”It’s about what it feels like to live with them.In this episode, we reflect on:Why setting boundaries can feel lonely before it feels freeingThe emotional exhaustion that follows when your nervous system finally slows downHow boundaries expose relationships built on access and emotional labourGrieving connections that couldn’t meet you at your new levelResisting the urge to undo your growth just to avoid discomfortLearning to sit with space long enough for healthi

In Episode 361 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, we share Part 1 of William Genga’s story, a Kenyan man who made the decision to be childfree at a very young age and spent years defending that choice in a society that insists everyone must eventually become a parent. Born and raised in Kericho, William reflects on growing up parentified as the firstborn, constantly caring for younger relatives, and how those early experiences shaped his relationship with responsibility, autonomy, and choice. In this deeply honest episode, William opens up about:Why he decided he never wanted children, as early as primary schoolBeing repeatedly told he was “too young” to know what he wantedNavigating sexual relationships while being firmly childfreePregnancy scares and the emotional weight of reproductive responsibilityThe double standards around family planning for men versus womenDoctors refusing to take his decision seriouslyHow regret, accountability, and bodily autonomy intersectThis episode explores childfree living in Ke

In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with writer, filmmaker, and cultural commentator Abigail Arunga for an expansive, deeply honest conversation about shame, desire, pleasure, and what it truly means to arrive as a liberated woman. Together, they explore how women are socialised to shrink themselves, emotionally, physically, sensually and what it takes to begin unlearning that conditioning. From confronting internalised shame to reclaiming pleasure, body autonomy, and self-trust, this episode invites listeners to reflect on their own relationship with desire and personal freedom. This conversation also weaves in:Why pleasure is often framed as “frivolous” for womenHow religion, culture, and colonial history shape sexual shameThe difference between sexuality, sensuality, and embodimentWhy personal liberation is inseparable from collective freedomLearning to listen to your body without guilt or apologyThis episode is thoughtful, reflective, and empowering, a must-listen for women o

What does it mean to choose a life that doesn’t come with a ready-made script? In this episode of Mid Week Tease, we sit with the quiet, complex reality of being childfree, not as a debate, not as a defence, but as a lived truth.Inspired by Part Two of Hekaya’s story in Episode 360 of Legally Clueless, this conversation explores what it really means to opt out of motherhood in a world that assumes it is every woman’s destiny. We talk about the grief that can coexist with certainty, the identity work that begins when womanhood is no longer anchored to caregiving, and the ways relationships shift when your life doesn’t follow the expected path. This episode is for women who:Are childfree by choice and navigating misunderstanding or pressureAre questioning the assumption that motherhood is inevitableHave grieved imagined futures without regretting their real livesAre redefining legacy, care, and belonging beyond parentingThis is not an episode about convincing anyone. It’s an episode about witnessing and remindi

In Part Two of Hekaya’s story, the conversation deepens into reproductive choice, healing, and what it means to consciously choose a childfree life. Hekaya reflects on getting pregnant while in university, choosing to terminate the pregnancy, and navigating the experience largely in silence. She speaks candidly about relief, guilt, and the shame that followed and how she continued with life before she had the language or space to process what had happened.This episode also explores Hekaya's journey toward identifying as childfree, not as a reaction, not as fear, but as clarity. She unpacks the societal pressure placed on women to justify not wanting children, the erasure of women’s identities within motherhood, and why choosing not to have children can be a deeply intentional and loving decision. Hekaya shares how healing came later through slowing down, therapy, inner work, unlearning religious conditioning, reconnecting with her body, and finding community that allowed her to feel seen and understood.This i

What happens when siblings grow up under the same roof, but carry very different emotional experiences into adulthood? In this Mid Week Tease episode, inspired by Hekaya’s story on the Legally Clueless podcast, we explore the quiet complexity of sibling dynamics, birth order roles, comparison, and emotional safety within families. Many of us were raised believing that shared parents automatically meant shared childhoods. But psychology tells a different story.Drawing from the work of trauma-informed physician Gabor Maté and psychologist Alfred Adler, this episode gently unpacks why siblings can experience the same household in entirely different ways and why naming your truth doesn’t make you disloyal or ungrateful. In this episode, we explore:Why siblings raised in the same home often have different emotional realitiesHow birth order and invisible family roles shape adult identityThe long-term impact of sibling comparison and quiet competitionWhat it means when siblings aren’t emotionally safeHow to honor yo

In this first episode of 2026, we open the year with Part One of Hekaya’s story, a deeply reflective and honest conversation about family, identity, and the long road toward becoming yourself. Hekaya  shares what it was like growing up as the last born in a family where expectations, religion, and control shaped how safe she felt to express who she truly was.She reflects on sibling dynamics, loneliness within family systems, creativity as a lifeline, and the subtle ways shame can be inherited and internalised. This episode lays the emotional foundation for a larger story, one that also touches on Hekaya's experience with terminating a pregnancy, the guilt that followed, and her journey toward healing and self-compassion. That part of her story continues in Part Two, which will be released next week.This is a conversation about understanding yourself beyond the roles you were assigned, and about recognising that even siblings raised in the same home can experience entirely different childhoods. If you’ve ever

In episode 358 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, Victoria shares Part 2 of her story, a powerful journey of leaving an unsafe marriage, rebuilding life as a single mother, navigating fear and displacement, and eventually experiencing deep love and devastating loss. Picking up from childhood trauma and survival patterns explored in Part 1, this episode focuses on healing, agency, community support, and what it means to choose life after years of endurance. In this episode, we explore:Leaving an unsafe marriage with childrenRebuilding life from scratch during COVIDCommunity support and dignity-centered helpNavigating co-parenting and safety fearsFinding love after traumaGrief, loss, and continuing to live fullyVictoria’s story is a reminder that healing is not about perfection, it’s about persistence, courage, and choosing yourself again and again. Listen to Part 2 now.Share your story with us:forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8Join the Legally Clueless Africa community:Newsletter: www.legallycluelessafrica.com/Instagra

As the year comes to a close, there’s often pressure to reflect, reframe, and rush into hope.This final episode of Mid Week Tease offers something different: a pause. In this episode, Adelle invites you into a soft, honest moment of witnessing, not to extract lessons or tidy the year up neatly, but to honor what the year truly held. This is a conversation for anyone who feels emotionally tired, quietly proud of surviving, or unsure how to carry this year forward. In this episode, we explore:When the year didn’t turn out the way you expected and why that doesn’t mean it failedThe invisible things you survived without recognitionRelationships you outgrew or quietly grievedReleasing versions of yourself that could no longer keep upFatigue that comes from carrying too much, not from lazinessThe episode closes with a gentle reflective ritual no homework, no fixing, just presence:Three things you’re laying downOne thing you’re proud of survivingOne truth you’re carrying forwardThis is not a wrap-up.It’s a deep exha

In Episode 357 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, Victoria shares part one of her powerful life story, growing up away from her mother, navigating multiple homes and boarding schools, and learning independence at a very young age.From her childhood in Nyeri, Karatina, and Garissa to her school years and early adulthood, Victoria reflects on how emotional absence, instability, and silence shaped her sense of belonging and connection.In this episode, we explore:• Growing up separated from primary caregivers• Childhood loneliness and emotional neglect• Boarding school experiences at a young age• How early instability shapes adult survival patterns• The quiet ways trauma takes rootShare your story with us: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8Join the Legally Clueless Africa community:Newsletter: www.legallycluelessafrica.com/Instagram: www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafricaYouTube: www.youtube.com/c/LegallyCluelessYoutube

What does it really take to build a sustainable fashion brand in Kenya, without overnight success, investor hype, or a perfect plan? In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with Zia Nyamari, fashion entrepreneur and founder & creative director of Zia Africa, for an honest conversation about building a business from the ground up, fear, faith, intuition and all.Zia takes us back to her very first business idea at 10 years old (selling popcorn on the street), through years of importing clothes in suitcases, quitting employment, navigating family pressure, and eventually opening a flagship store at Village Market. She shares the behind-the-scenes realities of growth, the fear of dead stock, imposter syndrome, and why consistency matters more than speed. This episode is especially for women who are:Thinking about starting a businessGrowing slowly and wondering if they’re “behind”Learning to trust their intuition alongside logicNavigating fear, faith, and self-beliefIn this episode, w

What happens when your growth starts to shift your relationships? In this episode of Mid Week Tease, Adelle Onyango explores the quiet, often painful realization that not everyone in your life knows how to sit with your light.This episode unpacks how dimming yourself can show up subtly, why some relationships struggle when you expand, and how to let go without bitterness, blame, or drama. It’s a reminder that you don’t need to make yourself smaller to belong and that release can be an act of self-respect. In this episode, we explore:Why personal growth can make some people uncomfortableThe subtle ways we dim our joy, confidence, and presenceHow to recognize relationships that require self-erasureLetting go without villainizing people you outgrowGrieving relationships that can’t meet you where you areChoosing yourself without guilt