Kidless

This week we explore the concepts of False Self and True Self, as defined by that book we've been referencing lately. While of course we all intuitively have a sense of those definitions as they apply to ourselves, we try to explore the concepts more deeply. We specifically discuss examples of how we've operated from a false self place by prioritizing others' rules and expectations over our own, but we also talk about growing into more true self expression, even if it makes our lives messier sometimes. These concepts are also applied to the choice to remain kidless. Resource: Comprehensive Dictionary of Psychoanalysis by Salman AkhtarIG: @kidless_pod

A discussion on mourning. We discuss: 1. The role of mourning in human life. 2. How mourning can be applied narrowly (a death) or broadly (all losses and changes, big and little). 3. It's necessary for peaceful passage through life. 4. How idealization of what was lost can prevent mourning and therefore peaceful passage through life. 5. Ashley hurts Eric's feelings early in the show, which is discussed toward the end and helps us  get to a final part of the discussion: 6.  If you make a choice, and you feel sad once the choice is made, that doesn't mean you've made the wrong decision. You're not a robot. Let yourself feel it. **One thing we didn't say in the episode: Even if you're sad after choosing to not have children, it doesn't mean you've made the wrong decision. You have to let yourself acknowledge the path you didn't take and what it means so that you can be open to what blessings you will receive. We tried to use as many examples from our lives as we

This week we tackle this definition of nostalgia: "Nostalgia is a mixed affective state of pain and joy associated with the wish to recapture an idealized past. Pain is evoked by the awareness of separation from old objects (people) and joy by a fantasized reunion with an idealized version of them through reminiscences."We use our own experiences and those of some celebs like Leonardo Dicaprio to think about this concept. Find Ashley on IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

We ponder meaningful and marked goodbyes and their importance while reflecting on  past experiences as well as our current parting with our home of 5 years . IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

As any real conversation should, we meander a bit until we get to the meat of something currently important to us. We do end up connecting some dots, and the takeaway is something like: you bring your battles to your doorstep, you choose them, and you can also unchoose them. IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

We take you through this past week's chaos - are we selling our house? Getting an apartment? Developing tumors or watching our house collapse? Divorcing? All possible.(Jkjkjkjkjk I watch Eric sleep at night - you think I'd let him leave me??? -A)IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

A little follow-up on how Eric's doing post-surgery and then a bigger discussion about how important is to claim and feel claimed in our relationships. How taking ownership over friendships helps to keep them afloat. 

Well, it's a shorter episode because it's still freshly post-op for Eric, and he gets tired easily, but we wanted to check in and update everyone on the nose surgery and how it went/how it's going. 

We start with a brief discussion about whether non-parents are justified to speak about parenting, and we follow-up on the Vegas trip and let you in on some of the internal battles we fought re: [our fears of] irresponsibility while simply trying to live our best high fashion lives. Contact us on IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

Do you guys go out? Do you guys see people? Are we the problem? Isolation is the name of the game for us - HOW DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS?! DM us on IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

We talk firings and other pieces of leftover shame from our 20s that informed our pursuits in our 30s. Tell us your stories!IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

It's about time we talked about...time. What does it mean to you? IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

After last week's photo op (for the podcast thumbnail) gave Ashley a distorted sense of her face, she obsessed about aging all week. We discuss different facets of aging and how we're thinking about it right now. Reach out if so inclined: IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

We're back (again)! We catch up and say a bit about where we've been, where we're going, and what we want for this iteration of the podcast. That convo leads to talking about a recent experience for Ashley that helped both of us think more deeply about determining for success for ourselves versus waiting for the validation from others. You can reach Ashley on IG: @ashley.mason.cmhc

...makes you behave in a regrettable fashion until you learn your lesson and move forward like an adult.Back this week to discuss more updates on how we're doing in these quarintense (nailed it) times. We give some updates on alcohol use or lack thereof, and we use the Beastie Boys documentary as a reference and jumping off point for discussions on failure and success and having to pull ourselves back from the brink of anxiety and panic...with some levity, we hope, while finding a way to quote a Kelly Clarkson song. Please note: we mention a quote often quoted by Obama, and I believe it's actually attributed to Martin Luther King, Jr., and I wish we (I) hadn't butchered it in the episode. 

This week we follow up on the fight from last week with a couple reflections, then we dive into a conversation with Randi, Eric's older sister. The conversation floats from their shared and unshared memories of childhood to Randi's personal and career goals and ultimately where she has ended up in the times of COVID. We think her situation highlights and captures an important experience in the US right now, and it gives you a break from focusing on us two clowns for a week. Randi is very much her own person and is unapologetic for who she is, nor should she be. We were delighted to speak with her. 

Settle in for a romp through a low-key fight between Ashley and Eric. Also, we try to apologize for insensitive things we've said only to go on and offer more insensitive thoughts and ideas. But mostly the focus is on the battle to survive and the tools we've used in the past and the tools we use now to cope. We flesh out the idea that it's really hard to do much self-improvement when it feels like your survival is threatened, and we touch on ways you might be reacting to the current crisis based on your past.Thanks for listening! We love you!

Conversations in quarantine. We check in with each other about our past weeks in quarantine. In this episode we touch base on our anger, restlessness, hyperarousal, and overblown concerns about aging. We're holding all of you in mind as we go into this coming week. Take care of yourselves!

We're quarantined and so are you. We return to chat about our experience of this global pandemic thus far. We talk about how we've regressed into some old behaviors but also have had to create new ones in order to cope with the isolation and distance. We also throw out our political perspectives, to the delight of no one, and we basically are just trying to be some voices for you to connect to while we're all having to tolerate separation. We've missed you and maybe you've missed us too. Let us know. -Ashley and Eric

This episode we interview Katy, a person previously unknown to us, which is a first for this podcast. She is childless and childfree, both terms apply to her, depending on whether the feeling of loss is taking center stage or the sense of empowerment related to taking control of her life and her choices. She wanted children, but it was an arduous and exhausting journey, and it ultimately didn't get her what she wanted - a child. We talk to her about this process and how she thinks about her transition from wanting children to settling into a life that's bountiful in other ways.   Find Katy on IG: @chasing.creationShe has a website which is linked on her IG, and she hosts webinars on the topic of life after struggles with infertility.