Dear Men

Ever felt like you suck at girls? Examples:You just don't know what you're doing when it comes to dating (or sex, or relationships)Getting along really well with women in general but when it comes to initiating with a woman you like, you freeze upWondering how to approach women without being creepyWhether you're a late bloomer, you feel like you're lagging behind and other guys know how to do this better, or you're just unsure in this area of your life, you're not alone!Here, four real men get personal with respect to how much they used to not know what to do when it came to sex, dating, or relationships with women.Then they go into how far they've come! Several are actively dating or in a relationship now, and they get specific about what changed that had them feel more secure.It turns out things get a lot easier when you figure out how, as a man, to lead in life and love in a way that's genuinely authentic to who you are (not some pickup artist nonsense).If you're looking

Should you stay together for the kids? It's a critical question. When a relationship/marriage isn't working (say because your sex life is dead) but you're great co-parents, it can be confusing. Should you stay together because that gives the kids "stability"? What does that really mean? Here, we talk about how healthy vs. unhealthy relationship dynamics affect your children, whether "making it work" actually works, and what you role model to your kids daily, without even saying a word. Growing often requires getting uncomfortable, but if you want your family to truly thrive, sometimes facing discomfort is the bravest thing of all.

Ever wondered whether you can have a passionate marriage even if the beginning was rocky? Ever wanted to know what powerful, sexy women really want from their partners? Here, Anna Rova shares her experience of moving from a less-than-stellar first sexual experience with a man, to saying YES to marrying him a year later. How does that work!? The answer is pretty great ("Oh, he definitely didn't have game when we met."). We also cover what it means for strong, successful women to "do the work," stories about men, the role of dating & relationships in the modern world, and the future of fully awake, alive partnerships.

… and get into a relationship. ;) What then!? How does being an introvert or extrovert impact your sex, dating, and relationship life? How do you make sure to get enough alone time while also getting enough connection? Negotiating things like how much time you spend together is critical in maintaining a healthy & loving partnership, and knowing yourself and how to support your partner makes you masterful at relating (which, let’s be honest, makes you sexy). As Jason is a strong introvert and I’m a strong extrovert, this is a fun episode with lots of personal stories and meaningful questions.

If you're a man who has sex with women, chance are you'd love to know how women really feel about going down. We got you. In this frank discussion, we talk about how we feel about giving blow jobs in casual dating scenarios vs. committed relationships, what makes a BJ particularly awesome to us, and the differences between engaging in oral sex on someone else vs. receiving oral ourselves. We also touch on power dynamics, porn, sexual satisfaction, and how giving a BJ can be a very hot experience -- for both the giver and receiver. If you've been wanting to improve your marriage or help your sex life, you may also find some valuable tips here. Fellatio-my. ;)

When you think of the success of your relationship, or how to improve your marriage, the first thing you think of might not be how close your male friendships are. But if you're lonely (and you can definitely be lonely while you're dating someone or with your relationship partner -- hell, you can even be lonely during sex itself if it doesn't feel connected), then everything in your life is impacted.Weston Karnes created the game Let's Get Real Bro to help make it really accessible for guys to connect with each other. Questions like, “If you were dating yourself, what parts would really suck?” -- are not ones you'd normally pose to your guy friends, but they can make conversations deeper, richer, and, well, funnier. If you've been feeling like there's something "off" in your sex, dating, or love life but can't put your finger on it, take a listen. There may be something here.

What do you do when aspects of your long-term relationship work, but your sex life is DOA? Sex therapists define a sexless marriage as one in which the couple has sex 10 times a year or fewer — in other words, just under once a month. If you're in this position, it can feel hopeless. You can feel deprived and helpless and lacking in intimacy, unsure of what to do or where to go. What if, while your sex life sucks, you're great co-parents, raising wonderful children together? The fear of what could happen in a breakup (which might be a divorce) can often lead to a certain kind of paralysis. Here we discuss the hope behind the heartbreak; what to do if you're in this position and the elements of polarity that can bring a couple's sex life back from the brink; and what we've seen in the clients who've made it through to the other side.

Ever felt like you're either left out or somehow behind everyone else when it comes to sex, dating, or relationships? Is it hard for you to be around someone you're attracted to without freezing or feeling like you're somehow messing it up?Social anxiety, including the common, sometimes crushing anxiety that comes from being around women you're attracted to, is extremely possible. Here, one man describes his experience overcoming such social anxiety, which included delving deep into the pickup artist community (PUA). We talk about why pick-up "techniques" didn't work for him, and what worked a whole hell of a lot better. Within months of engaging with women in the new way he learned, he was ethically dating multiple women, and is now in a relationship with a girlfriend he cares about deeply. It can be done, and the path there might not be what you expect.

For many men, there's nothing better than knowing that you're deeply trusted. And for many women, a man who inspires profound trust also inspires deep, embodied surrender — including sexually. Combine polarity and trust, and you've got a powerful relationship. So what does it take for a man to be deeply trusted by the feminine? Here, we reveal the traits that are the most important to us when it comes to how trustable a man is, whether we're dating, in relationship, or simply having sex with him. Whether you're looking to improve your marriage, inspire a new dating partner, or become the man you've always longed to be when it comes to being trustworthy, you'll get something out of this candid discussion of the men who inspired our deep trust, and to whom we wanted to gratefully and gracefully surrender.

The core of most attachment issues, relationship problems, and sexual dysfunction (like not being able to get it up, keep it up, or cum when you want) is often trauma. When you address your childhood trauma, whether that's neglect, abuse, or just poor role models when it comes to relationship patterns, you fundamentally transform yourself and your experience of sex, dating, and relationship. Somatic modalities like de-armoring, outlined here, can help drastically in letting go of trauma, and can specifically help those who wish to overcome erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, and more. Here we cover somatic de-armoring, including cervical de-armoring and anal de-armoring, but also body-based de-armoring, such as helping the psoas muscle release tension (this is known to sometimes hold repressed memories and/or emotions). Men, women, non-binary folks, and all human beings can benefit from this practice.

Erectile dysfunction (ED) affects about 30 million men in the US alone; a whopping 30-40% of men report struggling with premature ejaculation (PE) during their lives; and delayed ejaculation affects 1-4% of men. So if you've struggled with some kind of sexual performance issue as a man, you're not alone. It's no wonder, then, that a lot of men turn to things like Viagra, Levitra, Cialis, Stendra, etc. But what if you really don't want to take drugs? Brian works with men from all different walks of life, helping them boost their overall sexual health -- and change can happen quickly. If you want to overcome erectile dysfunction, handle premature ejaculation, or just have more control over your erections and boost your overall sexual health, you'll want to listen to this.Brian's YouTube channel (mentioned in this episode): https://www.youtube.com/c/BrianAyers23

One of the most pivotal moments in a man's life is becoming a father. How do you prepare for it? If you're already a father, how do you reconcile mistakes you've made? How does parenthood affect a couple's sex life? There are both immense joys and challenges in the process of becoming and being a father, and Tripp breaks down his own journey as well as insights from his experience coaching hundreds of men. We also touch on meaning, purpose, career and fulfillment, in addition to sex, love, dating, and relationships.

Ever pushed someone away in a relationship without even realizing it -- or known you were doing it but couldn't stop? Ever felt needy or anxious in dating to an outsized degree (i.e you're more anxious than most when it comes to sex, going on dates, or connecting with a dating partner)? When you're seeking to improve your romantic relationship, or just improve your relationship to dating and sex, you need to know about behind-the-scenes emotional "stuff" that could be in your way -- including childhood neglect. As sex and relationship coaches, many of our clients experience the patterns we talk about here, and if you identify with this, this is an episode you don't want to miss.Article mentioned in this episode: https://www.lovemyanxiousbrain.com/childhood-emotional-neglect-romantic-relationships/

There's a difference between good and bad couples therapy. When you're trying to understand how to improve your marriage/romantic relationship, you often need help. Fighting about sex, money, or who picks up around the house can get exhausting, especially if you're going in circles. Couples counseling can help, but you need the right help. Here we cover Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), which Psychology Today calls "The Most Effective Couples Therapy, by Far." According to a meta analysis, 90% of couples who go through EFT significantly improve their relationship, and 70-75% no longer fit criteria for relationship distress. The next leading modality has a 35% success rate. Both men and women (and everyone in between) will be able to identify with the patterns discussed here. Oh, and we also talk about naked mole rats. ;)

Ever felt like your cock wasn't big enough, or worried that because you don't know how to please a woman in bed, she'll shame you in some way? Kenneth Play used to be so terrified of sexual performance and concern over his cock being too small that he wouldn't even really approach women. But that all changed at a single, fateful sex party. This episode isn't one to miss!Kenneth's site: https://kennethplay.com/

You can be an expert on your anxious, avoidant, or anxious/avoidant attachment style, but that doesn't necessarily help you actually get to healthy attachment. What does it actually take to get there? Tracy Crossley and I break it down, and in a fascinating twist we cover the link between healthy attachment to other human beings and your attachment to life itself. Tracy also shares her own in-depth experience of moving into healthy attachment over time — the work we each need to do solo, and then the work we must do in relationship.To find Tracy's podcast: https://tracycrossley.com/podcast/

When you're in a relationship, how do you navigate the really hard conversations — the ones where you know you could be risking everything by even engaging the topic. Like, for example, "I want kids" when you know the other person doesn't. Coordinating moments or even long periods of tension in a relationship with grace is part of what a healthy relationship is about. But it turns out you need to have a strong relationship with something else to even be able to do that in a romantic partnership. Listen for what that is.Benjamin & Azrya's site: https://www.beqoming.meTheir IG: @beqoming

Sexual trauma shows up in different ways — both physically and emotionally. For example, some folks may not have undergone sexual abuse or assault, but have experienced religious trauma that actually impacts their physical body and experience of sex. If you've ever had a woman partner who struggled with vaginismus, vaginal dryness, sexual trauma, or other issues with ladyparts, you'll appreciate this non-judgmental, open conversation about sexual pleasure on the feminine side. Topics include vaginal steaming, the jade egg, sexual healing, and more. Plus shifts in levels of libido (what if hers is higher?) and how lubrication changes over time.Violet's site: https://violetlange.com/

Ever wished you were better at receiving feedback in dating or relationship? For many men, it's a challenge to respond with grace instead of defensively when getting hard feedback – especially from a woman. Here, Jason shares how he has grown in his own marriage around feedback, criticism, and expression. (We also acknowledge that there's a difference between a woman shaming you and offering you a heart-based message.) When you can skillfully incorporate feedback, it's extremely nourishing to women. Master this, and you'll often have a woman who wants to open herself to you in a number of ways, including sexually. Who doesn't want hot, openhearted sex?Jason's site: https://evolutionary.men/

Yep, we're talkin' about cocks! When it comes to penises, there are all different kinds, and as women who have sex with men we've seen a whole variety. Sex, dating, and relationships with penis-owners wouldn't be the same without that magical appendage. Your cock is sacred and we love it. Here we discuss whether size matters in sex, and what kind of cock play we enjoy. ;)My sex research and course mentioned in this episode: www.pleaseherinbed.com