Lasers On The Ride

The Grammy Family, episode 47 of Lasers on the Ride, kicks off with talk of the recent face punching spree sweeping St Henri and the Lasers receiving real Grammy noms for imaginary work. The conversation turns quickly to masturbation before they discuss Kanye West’s emotional state and how to process one’s feelings for one’s idols. Jay gives a bad rendition of a proposal he witnessed and they discuss fighting kangaroos, some buff and some less buff. Mike shares a motivational tool his past self used to keep his present self accountable and the Lasers discuss certain changes they might have wanted to have instituted in 2016. KC closes the stuff out with a freestyle, you’re welcome and merry christmas.

In episode 46, GRANDBUDA’s Last Resort, the Lasers are joined by GrandBuda, Montreal rapper/producer/dj and his manager and Moto Made founder Philippe Durocher-McBrearty. The episode kicks off with talk of all-inclusive vacations before Akil shares his dos and won’ts list for fruit. GrandBuda recalls an unfortunate microphone incident from the Summer and talks the importance of his live show to what he does. He shares his past life as a band member, the pitfalls of too many cooks in the kitchen, and the synergy he’s got going with his producer. They discuss halloween costumes and GrandBuda shares a few LasersExclusives™ for our collective pleasure before he and Akil see eye to eye on Dilla and the crew talks De La Soul and stuff. GrandBuda judges a Lasers beat-battle in which there can only be one winner before the group discusses parameters in re-la-tion-ships.

Episode 45, Regression Session, kicks off with talk of glassware while KC hits a dance that you can’t see but you can feel. Mike takes a final stand against nostalgia and they discuss the phenomenon of adults consuming culture that was ultimately created for kids while Jay wonders whether Tom Selleck has twitter. Mike breaks down Canadian Thanksgiving, Jay gets more specific, and Mike celebrates vaginas for their strength and tenacity. Jay shares his crush on art girls and Mike helps him pick up before they discuss big Barry White’s sex appeal. They launch a beat battle sampling a famous Hendrix ditty and Akil tries his darndest to defend cartoons before Mike gives Transformers the business.

In s01e44 the Lasers welcome Karma Atchykah, rapper/music businessman from Montreal and representative for Fool’s Gold member Shash’U. He breaks down his current situation and what he’s got going on before the Lasers get into christmas mode and plan a secret santa. Jay hands out a few television treatments for Karma to flex upon and the crew talks buff kangaroos pre-viral-kangaroo-video. Karma speaks on a few of his current projects and gives boss advice (quantity over quality my dude he says) and recalls some lame jobs. He speaks on his Haitian background and the group discusses the cultural usefulness of certain movies and themes. Akil wishes it were ‘92 while Karma shares his modern take on learning and the group discusses the dos, donts and beauty of shrooms consumption while Mike loves LSD. Jay gets too deep about the meaning of the podcast and Karma explains the origins of his name and his thoughts on karma as concept. Jay brainstorms an eggnog business, Akil can’t change won’t change, and Jay cheats o

In Episode 43 of Lasers on the Ride the Lasers discuss Slam Poetry and then the only thing worse, cottaging with couples. They move on to the thought process behind dreads and who had the best caesar (Nas maybe) and then talk simulated sex, where Akil shares some problematic acting instincts. Conversation shifts to a rather in-depth discussion on self-reflection and self-love before Akil makes strong claims about taking Just Blaze in a beat battle if given the chance and Mike thinks that’s crazy. They close out with deliberations on human resources departments and then cave and join the huge podcast trend of serial killer talk.

BENZ ANTOINE Keeps it Reality, s01e42 of Lasers on the Ride, welcomes actor Benz Antoine, currently starring in 19-2 and whose previous roles include Get Rich or Die Trying, Romeo Must Die, and Exit 67, to the podcast. He opens with his approach to acting and breaks down a few of his memorable scenes while Jay gets his giddiness as a super fan out of his system. He generously names some names as to who is naughty and nice out there in Hollywood and talks energy as currency. He shares his transition from rapper to actor, how perseverance and determination are (major) key, and which of his movies have been his biggest hits. Talk moves to basketball and Mike and Benz disagree on Lebron (shoutout Iguodala). The recent election and the hypocrisy of race in the States are explored before Benzel takes on some Denzel trivia. He tells of a pivotal moment in his career (Crabman!) when he trusted his instincts and discovered that he was meant for this stuff.

Just Another Tupac Vortex, s01e41 of Lasers on the Ride, opens with Jay not getting a job and trying harder to get the job and Akil confusing Boy George for Chris Isaac. He shares a curious take on Donald Glover’s Atlanta and confuses Lyle Lovett for Chris Isaac. Mike and Jay witness two musicians sage-ing the hell out of their lives by trashing their old albums and discuss physical fitness in relationships. Mike tells the improbable tale of Neil Young and Rick James’ shared history and the Lasers discuss Tupac’s discography despite not being big Pac fans. They talk the Tupac vortexes that naturally occur around congregating white people and revisit awful Canadian rap. Jay closes out the episode with stories from when he wrote an advice column for YM magazine haha.

In episode 40, TYLER LEMCO Concurs, the Lasers welcome Tyler Lemco, a Montreal native and internet personality/content creator/writer/rapper who got his start as a founding member of the Epic Meal Time crew. They kick off with talk of revolutionary dance moves and brand ambassadorship and then discuss Chris Gaines who is really just Garth Brooks in disguise. They pit random black entertainer vs random country star and try to pick a winner and then answer tough questions concerning moms and money. Tyler takes us to the beginnings and middles and a wee bit of the end of Epic Meal Time and delivers some sage advice regarding doing for self. The emergence of bacon’s iron fist rule over pop culture is explored and the group establishes how many children each member could take out if required/given the chance. Tyler speaks on his career and future projects including some reappropriation bracelets that take the long way to a better planet and talks being on a losing team (white ppl). They play Fudge it! Pick a Recor

s01e39, Walls Are For Squares, was recorded right outside of the studio, in the great outdoors (of Fattal), full of dog barks and shouting. The episode kicks off pretty abruptly with a pretty petty argument between Akil and Jay about, of all things, coziness (guys it’s crazy) and they debate whose life is worse and who’s gone longer without eating haha. They patch things up and discuss idols before KC talks being stabbed right where they’re sitting and breaks down Haitian food. Akil talks of the time he sat in on Concordia’s hip hop class, Jay drops train riding wisdom, and Mike his masturbation bucket list. They read fanmail for the podcast and talk waterbeds of yore, before a kitty comes up and steals the show.

In episode 38, MARKINGS & Art Things, the Lasers are joined by Markings from the Artbeat collective and the Piu Piu scene. He speaks on his time as a rapper, meeting KNLO, and the beginnings of the Piu Piu movement and Artbeat. They discuss Akil’s long lost (tshirt) love, an awful poster from a county fair, and pick bottom 5 dead or alive. They dissect the idea of influence in art/music and play Which Diddy Did He do?, the Diddy ghostwriting game. French rap gets a talking to and true schoolers do too. They play Ken vs Ryu and What Colour is Memph Bleek’s durag? – classics, and then talk the sad state of the Montreal scene in the mid and late aughts. Markings discusses Guatemalan music of past and Mike finally finds a brother in arms against nostalgia. Mook Life gets a mention and Mike talks producers who can’t see the music for the sample. They play Fudge It! Pick a Record! and Markings talks stepping your goshdamn game up, shoe or otherwise, if you want to goshdamn get anywhere.

Because Hillary Clinton is President, the Lasers on the Ride election coverage special, opens up with talk of the process and Mike’s facebook brawl with a racist over #BlackLivesMatter. They decide to take it to the phone lines and call some folk to predict the outcome and Akil unveils a nutty possibility. Ladies by the name of Trump don’t wanna talk about it, Prairie Dog Junk comes out to play, and ladder matches become pillow fights. The Lasers do the groundwork and discover that random people in the States are Trump supporters and are nonos on abortion. They turn Jumpman into Trumpman (call us, Drake) and explore an alternate reality where Clinton wins and Trump is the ultimate loser.

Episode 36 of Lasers on the Ride, ERIN WILLETT’s Garden of Eden, features Erin Willett, a brand developer/strategist and owner/founder of the Tap in Team. The episode kicks off with talk of the current work climate and where employment is headed and then how to brand masturbationfromhome as a hustle. They play Fudge it Pick a Record!, Erin talks why “artist” is a heavy ass title, takes us through her come up and explains why everyone should pick up what she’s throwing down. She coaches the Lasers through their brand and Jay coaches everyone through that coke life. The group explores Akil’s perceived negativity and tries to break it down into components and the studio’s bathroom catches an L but then a W. 808s and Heartbreak gets no love again despite Erin’s best attempts and the group picks guests for the dinner party of their dreams.

In ‘Are We In Love Now?’, episode 35 of Lasers on the Ride, KC comes back around and joins the Lasers to talk music, feelings and the Media. Things jump off with the dudes discussing their respective emotional states and then Desiigner and then Weezy’s statements RE: racism. Jay touches on his relationship a little and Akil touches a little on a lady and tells us about it. They discuss the various types of energies one can bring to the bedroom and then the pitfalls of relationships.

Episode 34 of Lasers on the Ride, Mr Wavvy Night In Fattal, kicks off with talk of the Cleveland Indians’ racist logo and Jay’s love for baseball. Mr. Wavvy, Montreal music/culture writer and Cult MTL contributor, joins the Lasers and they talk Kid Cudi and his influence and then predict who got next Cudi. Jay tells of his friend who sells dirty underpants to dirty dudes and Wavvy breaks down his current favorites from the city. They discuss Andre vs Big Boi, misogyny via Action Bronson, and Shaq’s #blessed music career. They turn top 5 on its head and pick bottom 5 and Mr Wavvy talks Spacejam but also talks why he talks Spacejam. Mike tests his theory that nostalgia rules everything around us and tells of when he met (ghost) Curtis Mayfield who gave him his blessing.

In Text Door Neighbour, episode 33 of Lasers on the Ride, the dudes kick stuff off by designing their own Barbies and talking doggy tinder (Air Bud we see you). Jay introduces a typecasting game he’s called “Do you have a little bit of him in you?”, they discuss winter coats and the Lasers meet their text door neighbours. They scheme on how to sneak into Reggae Fest, speak Jamaican event vs Jamaican event and then more generally life in the West Indies. Akil nearly muscle memories himself out of his job with porn and Jay over excels at gym class.

Happy Halloweenie! In episode 32 of Lasers on the Ride the Lasers discuss spooky racist Donald Trump and his spookier supporters, including that one friend of Akil’s. They talk marriage & cheating and Akil shares some antiquated views on relationships. Jay relays a haunted house experience and the Lasers create Lasers radio. Mike asks the question no one wants to ask or have asked, Akil workshops (in rather poor taste) Pedophilia Paradisia and audio violence breaks out between B Real and Big Boy the disc jockey. Jay closes out with MURRRDDDEEERRRRRR.

In episode 31 of Lasers on the Ride Montreal comedienne Mariam Khan joins the podcast. She and Mike talk about looking racially ambiguous before she details a trip to Boston but really South Boston but really World War B. Mariam shares her love for Big Brother, Mike schemes his submission video, and Jay misinterprets the premise. The group discusses whether they’ve fallen into oedipus/elektra complexes in their relationships, play Ken vs Ryu, and speak on Brandon Lee and Kanye. Mariam teaches Danish and Jay teaches Maritimes and the Lasers introduce Mariam to the chit chat championships. Dating rears its ugly head, Mariam chronicles an evening with a cheap son of a bitch and they play Fudge It Pick a Record!

In episode 30 of Lasers on the Ride, Sleeping with the Wrong People, Mike brings out his Organized Noize playlist featuring deep cuts including one Lil’ Will jam from 1998 that sounds like 2008, maybe 2018, maybe 2098. They discuss regional sounds and 808s vs 909s, Akil recalls a romantic event in a romantic setting and they breakdown complexes. Akil rails against the Jehovah’s Witness and Mike rails against lakes and reminisces on his time in North Carolina. Comedian Mariam Khan rolls through and tells us a little about her stand-up career and the Montreal comedy scene before the group establishes when and how ethnicities are funny. To close out Mariam shares her love for Big Brother and the reasoning behind it and they rank Canadian comedians from zeros to Norm Macdonald.

Episode 29 of Lasers on the Ride kicks off with the Lasers discussing their stinky fridge, bad artist names and whether new Toronto slang is just Britain slang is just Old Toronto slang is just West-Indian slang. They discuss weed paranoia and then just general paranoia and pit fine bitch against fine bitch. Birks Fairview catches plenty Ls and the Lasers talk tv and Treach real quick. Jay tries to get Skinny and Mike to ride a dirt bike to hell (St Lazare that’s you) and introduces a gameshowquizz. Mike and Akil talk Raphael Saadiq, the name of Jay’s funk album and alternate rap names for Mike. They talk early days of the internet, brainstorm a horror movie premise called Dial Up, and go full bonkers to end the episode.

In episode 28 of Lasers on the Ride, Dirtwork’s Scene Tings, Montreal producer/manager/getitdone’r Dirtwork rolls through, bringing artist Treh LaMonte in tow. Dirtwork shares his background, speaks on his time spent in Atlanta and talks his come-up along side Montreal legend Bad News Browns and rapper/friend Magnum. The group discusses influences and influencers and preferences in this music stuff. Kanye is broached and they disagree as to the replay value of 808s and Heartbreak. They pick least favorite Kanye songs, talk Kanye’s character, and discuss/laugh as to who would win in Eminem vs Drake. Mike and Dirtwork discuss chords and process in production and agree that Drake didn’t have no goddamn ghostwriters. The gang discusses Montreal rap, the scene and its peoples, talks its politics and Dirtwork drops knowledge. They pick worst hat game, talk tucked ears and dad hats, and play what colour is Memphis Bleek’s du-rag? To close out Treh LaMonte talks his first musical influences.