Brilliant Observations

Texting the wrong person - John stepped in it big time last weekend! WHO out there gives a shit about the royals?? Not Missy Missy had creamery ice cream - you know what that means? It means the stomach had its own revolution. Speaking of ice cream, wait until you get a load of these flavors. Garlic? Missy’s got a problem with medical test and waiting Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Easter candy vs Passover candy - no contest, y’all Waze is the modern-day Passover plague Missy’s anger formula - Jess says is SUPER passive aggressive John is noticing inappropriate clothing when the weather gets warm Why are men’s beards more bacteria-ridden than dog’s mouths? THE weirdest state rules EVER. (these are HILARIOUS) LOVING Life in Pieces! Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

It’s just John and Melissa tonight. Melissa and the family are on vacation in Florida We had to pour one out for Willbe Brilliant A woman that Melissa knows went on Facebook and posted about pregnancy at the middle school!!! John was woke at 3:21 am and told to seek shelter Melissa talks about her mentally abusive Mother. Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Our theme song is in a Progressive commercial! Jess got lost in the woods! There are a crystal and china epidemic - what are we gonna do with all our grandparents’ fancy shit? John says if it wasn’t for sex Men would hunt Women for sport. Are leggings pants? Jess lays down the law about decency A poacher was attacked by elephants and eaten by a lion We discuss celebrity most embarrassing relatives - who’s the embarrassment of YOUR family? Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Isaac takes ballet and wears nail polish and Jess gives zero Effs World of Coca Cola and the nauseating encore What’s in your junk drawer? TV is spoon feeding the public news stories - oh no! The top hated actresses - Jess hates them all and Missy feels bad for them When was the last time you had a good night’s sleep? John is incensed at the idea of Melissa’s husband, a doctor, having to pick up dog shit Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Cousins are allowed to marry - 20 states that say you can marry your cousin - that you’re over 65. Earworms Florida Man Challenge - why is Florida where all the crazy crap happens??? Melissa thinks Monica Lewinsky and Chelsea Clinton should be besties. What say you? It really is a shame they can’t be friends. New shows: Lorena, Shrill, AfterLife Road Rage and being FURIOUSLY angry Public school villains Do you make your bed? What games are on your phone? Tell us! Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

This week is camp hookups, cockroach secrets, death by selfie and post-mordem sperm retrieval. An episode of gems, you can’t deny it!!! Also join us LIVE on our FB page, 8 pm EST on Mondays. You have night pants too, right? OMG someone hooked up at camp and had to call their parents! Help me out guys - if we had to call mom and dad when we did something against the rules, no one would be allowed to go! Melissa thinks people need to worry more about hygiene. Jess accidentally told half a story to 3 people and finished it with a joke to 3 complete strangers Would you tell someone if they had a roach on their shirt? 3 horrifying roach stories College admissions scandal - should they take the degrees away? We vote hell no. 259 death by selfies - people who tried to take a selfie but accidentally died. This is sad but also HILARIOUS. Why are we all self-imposed paparazzi?? Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twit

We recorded live in Facebook and had quite an audience! REALLY fun to engage with you all in real time. We talk about tit tats, music parents hate, Michael Jackson’s innocence and sleeping with celebrity crushes. Enjoy!!   John writes a joke a day but can’t write stand up comedy? We call BS Devastating breakups and heartache - teenage angst What music did your parents hate that you HAD to listen to? Dirtiest song lyric Pete Davidson’s answer to music vs. men Child abuse vs young marriage - is this a matter of time in history? Tit Tats - do you have one? Would you sleep with your celebrity crush, or take 100K? Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Lots of chatter today about personal rules and regs. What is your spouse for? How would you like your tacos? What does it take for you to cry? We explore all this and more on this week’s episode! Why is Melissa’s first response always NO? She needs a little yes. Did your parents exercise? Jess’s parents did not really but they made her do so. The Helen Hunt afterschool special and how frightening it was John is actually shy...who knew Botox and dermatologist humiliations Jess and John are loving The Orville - and Jess wants a whole show of just Bortis Melissa loves True Detective Stupid rehab stories Manblaming Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

How bad do you treat your spouse? What are the husband’s jobs? (What are husbands for exactly) Listener spew: Last week we told a poo story, and you sent photos. Thank you! John reads the nice letter from listener Amy Every episode takes a while to hit their stride. Have we hit ours yet? We’re not sure. When was the last time YOU cried? Turns out for John, it was too long ago. Ugly crying in the shower - cathartic AND no cleanup! Who’s the best Baldwin? Melissa says there’s only one Baldwin and the rest are cheap imitations. Jess likes all but Daniel. Which taco scenario are you? (What’s your love language?) What stuff do you collect? What about as a kid? John liked to collect programs and concert ticket stubs. Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Which one of your connections gets an instant unfollow? We discuss the world’s biggest social media offenders. Our philosophy on budgeting aka three people who suck at budgeting explain how shitty they are at it The new Weezer - how is this NOT wedding band music exactly? John’s waiting room emergency John and Jess cut Melissa’s vet bills back Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Melissa has yet another DISGUSTING story about one of her dogs John and Jess get mad at Melissa for bargaining with the scale The argument about who is the greatest drummer of all time. But Jess is right. We don’t think Super Bowl Day should be a national holiday. John does, but Jess and Mel are outraged Dying jobs - Journalists, data entry operators and...medical doctors? Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

This week, we dissect our hate mail and (sort of) graciously address their concerns. Also: anti-vaxxers, cancer from bacon, and the weird rules of Kickstarter. Enjoy!! Bacon gives you cancer - and Jess and John decide it’s a good way to die We’ve decided that Melissa can only eat the Ds We get hater mail, and we defend ourselves. Not that we should. We hate anti-vaxxers and flat-earthers Non-smelly ways to make eggs? How about every other way besides how Stu is doing it The I want a baby challenge - how do Scott and Stu do? Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com  

We get all up in the shock and unbelievability of the Fyre Festival John heard our theme song in a commercial! Rob Lowe is hosting a new game show and Melissa and Jess are happy to just stare at his face for hours and hours Do YOU unpack at hotels? Jess does, John not so much. John unpacks never, in fact. Jess’s people I hate includes influencers this time around. Melissa is making headway on new year's resolutions. What resolutions? Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

We discuss listener reactions What to wear in the snow Jess is properly OCD about some random stuff TSA and Melissa’s worries Thankless jobs we’ve done (or not done) Melissa teaches us how to make a mantra If there were no men, how would women change? Makeup? Shaving? Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Stuart gets all the accolades because he is a friggin doctor and Melissa made him pick up 37 pounds of dogshit Why do people enjoy being “tragedy adjacent” We discuss the strategy of Forced Family Time What do we think about Januhairy? Melissa thinks Gwyneth Paltrow is perfect and John and Jess….can’t see it Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Jessica’s family listens to the show and Jess had to go on a 2019 Crow eating tour. You know who would hate the term eating crow? PETA. How would PETA change the term eating crow? John and Melissa square off on Louie CK and the victims of the Parkland High School shooting.   Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

HAPPY NEW YEAR DEAR LISTENER!! Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Mellisa tortures her children with Mandatory Family Time Genetics is how helping us catch serial killers Jess offended someone with a Christmas email subject. Hat giveaway!! Guy has to watch Bambi bc he killed deer illegally Female Millennials are having their downstair curtains hemmed.   Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com  

John plays Santa for inquisitive Isaac Ancestry.com - revealing all the family secrets Should we mess with our future genetic spawn? What if we could choose their traits? The absolute worst Chanukah gifts ever Why does Melissa not allow her kid to spend money for 6 months Sugar addiction - kicking the monkey off your back Let’s connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: brilliantobservations@gmail.com Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com