The Sonya Looney Show

Perfectionism, self-criticism, self-hatred. As an athlete, academic, or even a parent, finding the path to self-compassion can be easily interrupted. Psychologist James Kirby helps break down the nuances of these feelings and their profound impacts on mental health and well-being.  Sonya and James talk about different types of self-criticism, the importance of self-compassion in goal-setting and relationships, and practical strategies for fostering self-compassion in daily life. Plus, learn how your relationships are affected.  Here are a few key takeaways: - There are two types of self-criticism - inadequate and hostile - Self-compassion can help sustain goals by aiding recovery from setbacks - Compassion is an active process of understanding and alleviating suffering - Shame strongly impacts relationships - Recognizing and appreciating unseen acts of compassion from partners can foster gratitude and positivity in relationships LINKS: - Learn more about James and his work - Nurturing self compassion with Dr

How can moving our bodies and connecting with others optimize brain health across our lifespan? I sat down with Dr. John Ratey and Travis Macy to discuss how our modern lifestyles may be affecting our innate human tendencies. From the transformative power of movement on brain health and ADHD to the importance of embracing neurodiversity and individual strengths, this episode is packed with eye-opening revelations and practical strategies for optimizing our health and happiness. Dr. Ratey shares insights on the science behind BDNF, the profound effects of social bonds on mood, and more. Our conversation challenges assumptions surrounding addiction and provided actionable strategies for optimizing brain health through movement. Here are a few key takeaways: - The science behind why exercise and social interaction are vital for brain health, cognitive function, and well-being - Why spending time in nature has profound positive impacts on our hormones, physiology, and mental state - How implementing exercise prog

Why is food so complicated for us? As a professional mountain biker, a national board-certified health and wellness coach, and my certification in plant-based nutritional studies, I know firsthand the importance of fueling our bodies with the right foods. But as Dr. Jud Brewer shares, our relationship with food goes beyond mere sustenance—it's deeply intertwined with our emotions, habits, and mindset. Get ready to gain valuable insights and actionable strategies for mastering your mind and revolutionizing your approach to eating.   KEY TAKEAWAYS - Neuroscience of Habits: Our brains are wired through reinforcement learning to form food habits and associate food with reward and danger for survival purposes.- True Hunger: Modern convenience and constant food exposure can lead to emotional eating in the absence of true hunger.- Hunger vs Cravings: Mindfulness techniques like noting can help differentiate physical hunger from cravings.- Health Food Relationships: Embracing concepts like uncertainty, kindness and

Becoming a mother is a transformative experience, but for elite athletes like Amanda Basham, it also presents unique challenges when it comes to pursuing their dreams. I was honored to sit down with Amanda to hear her story of returning to competitive sports after having children and the profound lessons she's learned along the way. Amanda is a professional trail runner and endurance coach with an inspiring path in the world of ultra running. We explore the profound changes in training, racing, and life schedules that come with becoming a mother, and Amanda shares her experiences returning to racing postpartum. From battling self-doubt to navigating the lack of support for postpartum athletes, Amanda sheds light on the often-overlooked struggles faced by mothers in athletics. Together, we discuss strategies for managing disappointment, expectations, and the mental toughness required to persevere as both athletes and mothers. Plus, the complexities of co-parenting while pursuing elite sports, highlight

Professional beach volleyball player Betsi Flint brings a unique perspective to our audience of endurance athletes and high performers. As the first volleyball player we've had on the podcast, she offers invaluable insights into the mental aspects that are so crucial to success in sports, life, and motherhood. As a Team USA 7-time AVP champ, Betsi has earned Gold in China and Silver Medals in Canada and Australia in the Olympics. She has also nailed the delicate balance of motherhood and athletic career.  Betsi shares candidly about the financial challenges of competing professionally in volleyball, shedding light on the often-overlooked realities of life as an athlete. Plus, we learn strategies and support systems that Betsi relies on to thrive in life and work. Here are a few key takeaways: - Finances of Professional Sports: Athletes rely on tournament placements, sponsors, and their own funds.- Motherhood and Sports: How support from family, prioritizing recovery and sleep, and employing mental skills he

It's time to rewrite the narrative of self-criticism and embrace the transformative power of self-compassion. Dr. Diana Hill joins us from a writing retreat in Costa Rica to explore the challenges of self-criticism, the science behind self-compassion, and practical techniques for cultivating kindness toward oneself. Diana Hill, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, international trainer, and sought-after speaker on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and compassion. She also hosts the podcast Your Life in Process, author of The Self-Compassion Daily Journal, and the upcoming book Wise Effort. Throughout our discussion, Diana shares invaluable insights into the challenges of writing and self-criticism, drawing from her extensive expertise in psychology and personal experiences. Together, we explore the profound impact of cultural influences on self-esteem and individualism, shedding light on the societal pressures that can make practicing self-compassion a daunting task for many of us.   Here are a few key

In a world filled with endless possibilities and opportunities, setting goals is often seen as the key to success. But what exactly makes a goal effective, and how can we avoid common pitfalls in the goal-setting process? I sat down with renowned goal-setting expert Caroline Miller to learn practical strategies for achieving our toughest goals and cultivating the determination to see them through. Caroline shares what it means to develop grit how to cultivate intrinsic motivation. We talk through the differences between learning goals and performance goals, explore the concept of 'good grit' versus 'bad grit,' and discuss practical strategies for building self-regulation and finding balance in our pursuit of challenging goals. Tune in to learn grit impacts all of us, from young kids in the next generation, to professional athletes - there's something for everyone in this episode! Here are some key takeaways: - The differences between learning goals and performance goals- Types of good and bad grit- Building

From her upbringing in New Zealand to her career as a multi-sport athlete, Jenny Smith has proven that you can achieve athletic excellence while balancing changes in identity. Jenny's journey through motherhood and endurance sports hits close to home for me, and I was thrilled to reconnect after our time with the Breck Epic Women’s Cycling Summit this summer. In this conversation, we explore Jenny's evolution from a young runner to a dominant force in cross-country mountain biking and XTERRA triathlon. She shares how she balances the demands of training and competition with the joys of motherhood. Plus, hear about her philosophy on coaching athletes - emphasizing skill development, positive youth development, and cultivating a supportive training environment - and her experiences and thoughts on aging as an athlete.  Jenny gives us the potent reminder to invest in personal growth, authenticity, and staying true to one's roots amidst the demands of elite sports.   Here are a few key takeaways: - The Past Info

At the height of the "Got Milk" campaign, Olympic silver medalist Dotsie Bausch found herself appalled at the assumption that dairy milk created successful athletes. She decided to do something about it. I sat down with the remarkable cyclist and advocate to hear her story of overcoming adversity, conquering anorexia, and finding solace and strength in cycling. While her transition to a plant-based diet was initially fueled by ethical convictions, it ultimately led her on a quest for improved health and performance. She shares her path to found Switch4Good, a nonprofit organization she founded to promote plant-based eating and challenge the dairy industry's status quo. Plus, her advocacy for the Add Soy Act and its potential to provide healthier, non-dairy options in schools. Dotsie's journey has always inspired me to challenge norms, embrace change, and live with purpose - even when you are going against the grain. I hope it brings some strength to you, too!   Here are some key takeaways: - Dotsie's St

Competition isn't just about winning—it's about growth, resilience, and pushing beyond our limits. I sat down with former pro speedskater and organizational psychologist Kim Perkins to talk about how competition shapes our lives and how to harness the power of an adaptive mindset. Together, we explored the multifaceted nature of competition, including how it can be both a source of inspiration and a powerful challenge in our lives. With a Ph.D. in positive organizational psychology and experience as a journalist, Kim brings a unique perspective to the playing field - and our conversation. From reframing rivalries to embracing self-compassion, you will learn powerful strategies for cultivating a more adaptive mindset around competition.  KEY TAKEAWAYS Differentiate: Look for ways you are different from competitors rather than focusing on similarities, to avoid unnecessary rivalry. Finding compassion: How to extend understanding to yourself and others, and cut people some slack rather than being overly critic

At the remarkable age of 80, Joe Friel is a testament to the power of staying engaged in the activities that bring joy and fulfillment. He is an active endurance sports coach, author of 17 books, and a trailblazer in the realm of multisport coaching. What does it mean to age gracefully? In this episode, Joe shares his wisdom on fitness, adaptive training methods, coaching, self-regulation, exercise and well-being. As athletes, it's so important that we create bridges between endurance sports, holistic health, and overall flourishing - which is why I found this conversation endlessly inspiring. I hope you do, too!    KEY TAKEAWAYS - Sustaining Career Engagement: Insights on maintaining professional engagement throughout a career, including valuable lessons on longevity and passion - Aging Athletes: Maintaining vitality through enjoyable activities, healthy eating, sufficient sleep, and sociability - Adapting to Age: Learn how changing expectations and utilizing tools like e-bikes can support sociability

Flow—an elusive state where time seems to dissolve, and we're fully immersed in the present moment. But how do we get there? Dr. Orin Davis is self-actualization engineer and the first recipient of a doctorate in the field of positive psychology. Today, he joins us to explain the complexities of what flow really means, and how we can incorporate it in our lives - both personally and professionally.   As we explore the pathways "the optimal experience," we find not only enhanced productivity but a profound connection to our innate capabilities. From neuroscience, trust, feedback, and alignment, we tackle common myths and come to realize that flow is for everyone.   Let's commit to fostering a state of flow for optimal well-being and peak performance. Ready?   KEY TAKEAWAYS - What is flow?: When your skills match the challenge, you're motivated from within, fully absorbed in the moment, and self-consciousness fades away - Myths about flow: Research papers from the 1970s-1990s may have misled our approach to

Embarking on a plant-based lifestyle is more than a dietary choice; it's a profound commitment to personal health, environmental sustainability, and the well-being of all living beings. Today, I'm joined by Brenda Davis, pioneer in plant-based nutrition and the author of "Plant-Powered Protein" to get to the root of fueling properly with plants. Brenda's book "Becoming Vegan" ignited a transformative journey for my husband and me. In this conversation, Brenda and I explore the nuanced realms of aging with vitality, and decoding protein quality through plant-based sources, offering not just dietary guidance but a holistic perspective on well-being. We discuss how much protein is needed in the diet, how to achieve it with plant-based sources of protein, and how to encourage plant-based eating at all ages - yes, even with kids! Plus, Brenda shares staggering research on the health benefits of replacing animal proteins with plant proteins. The impact is far greater than we even knew! KEY TAKEAWAYS Small Shifts

How can we find meaning and purpose in our lives? And what does a meaningful life really look like? Woven through personal stories and the lens of science, this episode is a reflection of my own search for meaning - and an invitation for you to do the same.   As I traverse the peaks and valleys of my own journey, racing through YakAttack, the highest mountain bike race on Earth in Nepal, and pursuing a Masters of Applied Positive Psychology, I unravel the threads of resilience, personal growth, and the transformative power of storytelling.   Here are some key takeaways:  Exploring meaning by investing in understanding our own experiences and storytelling. How to find purpose through proactive exploration, reactive experiences, and social learning from others. Choosing your attitude and associated actions is deeply meaningful for personal agency Pushing limits through challenges like endurance races can facilitate feelings of transcendence and connection. Why having a meaningful life is not the same as a

What if the key to peak performance lies not just in physical strength but in the intentional integration of breath, mind, and authentic living? In her new book, "Awake Athlete," mindset coach Jess Gumkowski offers a recipe for mental health that seamlessly integrates activity and awareness for sustained embodied engagement. Jess shares some incredible insights into where the intersection of mind and body becomes the gateway to sustained flow states and optimized performance. From conscious breathing practices to the art of living against the grain and "wise selfishness," our conversation navigates how to redefine your approach to endurance sports.  I feel ready to breathe deeper this season and I hope you find the same inspiration.  Here are some key takeaways: Meditation, breathwork, and mindfulness practices can help connect the mind and body and lead to greater calmness and performance. It's important to surrender to life's challenges and to open up to receiving help from others rather than trying to d

Driven by his passion to reduce suffering and improve health, Dr. Michael Greger joins us to share the science-backed lifestyle changes that can help stave off preventable diseases and disability. From cognitive decline prevention to exercise, hormones, and anti-aging strategies, this episode is a comprehensive guide to embracing a vibrant and rich future.   Dr. Greger's mission is rooted in his unwavering belief in the transformative power of a healthy lifestyle. His commitment to sharing knowledge and empowering individuals to take charge of their health shines through, making his new book 'How Not to Age' not just a study, but a roadmap to a vibrant and fulfilling life.   Here are a few key takeaways: Holistic Health Approach: Focusing on lifestyle changes as a powerful means to reduce suffering and improve overall well-being. Mindful Aging: Exploring actionable preventative measures against cognitive decline. Balanced Exercise: Find out the power of low-impact, aerobic workouts with structured recovery t

Ready for a mindset transformation? In this episode, I sit down with Neal Palles, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Mental Performance Coach based in Longmont, Colorado. With a master's degree in applied sport psychology, Neal helps us better understand the intricacies of mental skills training and performance psychology - from embracing uncertainty and clarifying values to cultivating acceptance.   We delve into the delicate dance of harmonious and obsessive passion, discover the resilience-building power of imagery, and explore the art of emotional regulation. Neal guides us on a journey of self-discovery, clarifying personal values and unveiling the transformative impact of mental support. Join us for a masterclass in mindset mastery – your key to navigating life's challenges with grace and purpose.   Here are 5 takeaways from the conversation: 1. The difference between harmonious and obsessive passion, and how to balance multiple goals and values. 2. Using mental imagery to rehearse challenging scenar

On the quest for contentment, I have learned so much from meditation and cultivating positivity. I had the privilege of chatting with the insightful Oren Jay Sofer about his transformative new book, "Your Heart Was Made for This."   We explored the profound practices of mindfulness, meditation, and Nonviolent Communication to nurture qualities like patience, contentment, and forgiveness. Oren shares wisdom on differentiating empathy, compassion, and kindness, highlighting how shaping our inner lives can lead to personal and social transformation.   Here are some key takeaways: Cultivating inner qualities: like patience, contentment, forgiveness through contemplative practices can help with challenges in life and create positive change. Empathy vs Compassion: How to balance our feelings with what others feel; recognizing that kindness is such a powerful warmth and connection between people. Contentment: Using mindfulness to focus on appreciating what we have rather than craving more. Forgiveness: How to free

In a world that changes every day, how do we stay flexible? I'm thrilled to have author and expert Brad Stulberg on the show to discuss his latest book "Master of Change," including concepts like rugged flexibility, order/disorder/reorder, identity, and much more. We dive into the complexities of identity, discussing how our various roles, from parent to athlete, come together to form an integrated whole. We talk about how making changes from a place of strength versus weakness urges us to assess the bigger picture before embarking on transformative journeys. This conversation came at a perfect time for me, and I hope it helps you, too. These practical insights will help you build resilience and master change in all aspects of life. Don't miss this opportunity to explore the art, science, and practice of achieving a more fulfilling and sustainable kind of success.   Here are our key takeaways: What is rugged flexibility? How we can be willing to bend and adapt when navigating change over the long term. A

In our quest for self-improvement, it's easy to focus solely on measurable progress—faster times, more significant achievements, and tangible results. However, growth extends beyond these external markers. In this episode, running coach Mario Fraioli joined me to discuss a topic we are both deeply passionate about: doing an activity for its own sake. As an elite athlete, writer, and coach, Mario has deep insight into how process, dedication, and commitment can bring satisfaction, regardless of the outcome. He shares the powerful shift in perspective that consistency comes from commitment and how much our mood can determine our understanding of progress. Plus, we talk about the significance of relationships and lifestyle in finding true fulfillment. Mario's wisdom has left a lasting impact on me, and I hope it resonates with you too.   KEY TAKEAWAYS: The work itself can be the reward, not just external achievements or metrics. Growth doesn't always mean measurable progress - it can be internal too. Consi