Speculative Grammarian Podcast

Sinopsis

Speculative Grammarianthe premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguisticsis now available as an arbitrarily irregular audio podcast. Our podcast includes readings of articles from our journal, the occasional musical number or dramatical piece, and our talk show, Language Made Difficult. Language Made Difficult is hosted by the SpecGram LingNerds, and features our signature linguistics quizLies, Damned Lies, and Linguisticsalong with some discussion of recent-ish linguistic news and whatever else amuses us. Outtakes are provided.

Episodios

  • Kill All Phoneticians—Rebroadcast

    Kill All Phoneticians—Rebroadcast

    13/02/2016 Duración: 01min

    Kill All Phoneticians; by Die Lingulelen; From Volume CLXIX, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, March 2014 — The taste of love is sweet / When two syntacticians meet / But can our love survive / If we don’t agree how to derive? (Performed by Die Lingulelen.)

  • λ♥[love] (Linguistics Love Song)—Rebroadcast

    λ♥[love] (Linguistics Love Song)—Rebroadcast

    13/02/2016 Duración: 03min

    λ♥[love] (Linguistics Love Song); by Christine Collins; From Volume CLXII, Number 1 of Speculative Grammarian, June 2011. — let me have your heart and i will give you love / the denotation of my soul is the above / if there’s anything i lack, it’s you / as my double brackets, you make me mean things / i can’t say enough (Used with permission.)

  • Val Harmony—Rebroadcast

    Val Harmony—Rebroadcast

    13/02/2016 Duración: 02min

    Val Harmony; by Edgar Allan Slater; From Volume XVI, Number 1 of Langue du Monde, The Journal of the Linguistic Society of South-Central New Caledonia, September 1991. — It was many and many a year ago, In a tower of ivory, That a maiden there lived who I did love, By the name of Val Harmony (Read by Jonathan van der Meer.)

  • The Phonetician’s Love Poem—Rebroadcast

    The Phonetician’s Love Poem—Rebroadcast

    13/02/2016 Duración: 47s

    The Phonetician’s Love Poem; by Epiphanios o Phantasiopliktos; From Volume CLXI, Number 1 of Speculative Grammarian, February 2011. — Sweet modulations of fundamental frequency / Air particles dancing to and fro (Read by Jonathan van der Meer.)

  • Love Queries of a Linguist—Rebroadcast

    Love Queries of a Linguist—Rebroadcast

    13/02/2016 Duración: 58s

    Love Queries of a Linguist; by John Miaou; From Volume CLVII, Number 3 of Speculative Grammarian, November 2009. — If I were a stop, would you be my explosion? If I were a nasal, would you be my syllabification? (Read by Jonathan van der Meer.)

  • My Love is Like a Colorless Green Simile—Rebroadcast

    My Love is Like a Colorless Green Simile—Rebroadcast

    13/02/2016 Duración: 55s

    My Love is Like a Colorless Green Simile; by Rasmus Burns; From Volume CLXIV, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, March 2012. — O my love's like a colorless green simile That's newly sprung from your lips. (Read by Jonathan van der Meer.)

  • How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Draw a Tree Diagram—Rebroadcast

    How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Draw a Tree Diagram—Rebroadcast

    13/02/2016 Duración: 01min

    How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Draw a Tree Diagram; by Alex Savoy; From Volume CLXI, Number 2 of Speculative Grammarian, March 2011. — How do I love thee? Let me draw a tree diagram— I was maundering, lonely as a bilabial trill, When I first heard your voice—(some breathy strange tongue) I was love-struck at once—(after all, I was young) (Read by Jonathan van der Meer.)

  • Parenting Styles and Progeny Success—A Practical Guide to Broken-Record Parenting

    Parenting Styles and Progeny Success—A Practical Guide to Broken-Record Parenting

    31/01/2016 Duración: 05min

    Parenting Styles and Progeny Success—A Practical Guide to Broken-Record Parenting; by Psammeticus Press; From Volume CLXXI, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, November 2014 — Parents, do you feel like a broken record? “Bath time!” ... “Shut the door!” ... “Don’t talk with your mouth full!” ... “Stop hitting your brother!” ... “Be quiet!” ... The list of repetitive parental complaints seems endless and, at times, fruitless. But now you can put the nature of your nurture to work for you and your child! (Read by Trey Jones, Joey Whitford, Claude Searsplainpockets.)

  • The Man Who Left His Deictic Center in San Francisco

    The Man Who Left His Deictic Center in San Francisco

    16/01/2016 Duración: 02min

    The Man Who Left His Deictic Center in San Francisco; by Edward Tapir and Benjamin Wharf; From Volume CLXX, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, May 2014 — One of our esteemed colleagues has attended numerous semantics conferences around the world, from the sad streets of Paris to gloomy Rome and even lonely Manhattan. A recent conference at the University of California, San Francisco on spatial representation, however, has left a particularly significant impact on his idiolect. (Read by Elizabeth Hackett.)

  • The Compleat Linguist

    The Compleat Linguist

    10/01/2016 Duración: 33s

    The Compleat Linguist; by John-Boy Walton; From Collateral Descendant of Lingua Pranca, October, 2009 — Man’s sentence’s in vain, for it’s subject is pain... (Read by Brock Schardin.)

  • Perpetuation of Traditional Gender Roles by European Languages

    Perpetuation of Traditional Gender Roles by European Languages

    02/01/2016 Duración: 01min

    Perpetuation of Traditional Gender Roles by European Languages; by Douglas S. Files; From Volume I, Number 1, of Babel, March 1990 — Several European languages encourage the continuation of traditional sex roles through the gender underlying their nouns. In this paper, the French, Spanish, and German gender systems will be examined for their contribution to sexism in housework (traditionally the domain of the female) and the nouns relating to bars and pubs (traditionally the domain of the male). (Read by Trey Jones, et al.)

  • Selections from Hymns for the Reverent Linguist

    Selections from Hymns for the Reverent Linguist

    19/12/2015 Duración: 01min

    Selections from Hymns for the Reverent Linguist; from The Linguistick Hymnary (1845); From Volume CLXVI, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, November 2012 — Typology, Typology; Joy to the Word. (Performed by Anna Weingarten.)

  • Saving Endangered Languages with Prescriptivism

    Saving Endangered Languages with Prescriptivism

    12/12/2015 Duración: 03min

    Saving Endangered Languages with Prescriptivism; by Neil de Veratte; From Volume CLXXII, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, April 2015 — All over the world, languages are being lost at an alarming rate. Field linguists do their best to preserve these languages, but find their speaker communities apathetic. “Why should I learn Wotʃa-Korlitt?” they ask, “It’s Spanish I need to get a job.” We need to look at successful languages, whose speakers are engaged with their language, to see what endangered languages can learn from them. When we do, we inevitably find that the most successful languages are those which possess a tradition of prescriptivist grammar. (Read by Brock Schardin.)

  • On the Mytholinguistic Significance of Butterflies

    On the Mytholinguistic Significance of Butterflies

    05/12/2015 Duración: 01min

    On the Mytholinguistic Significance of Butterflies; by Mary Hadlitt-Lamb; From Volume CLXXI, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, December 2014 — A remarkable cross-linguistic pattern can be observed in the words for “butterfly”. While these words seldom appear to be cognate even in closely related languages, they are surprisingly similar between apparently unrelated languages. (Read by Trey Jones.)

  • A Possible Prional Source for Linguistic Degeneration from Prolonged Ailuric Exposure

    A Possible Prional Source for Linguistic Degeneration from Prolonged Ailuric Exposure

    28/11/2015 Duración: 04min

    A Possible Prional Source for Linguistic Degeneration from Prolonged Ailuric Exposure; by B. Bubo, T. Tyto, S. Strix, and A. Asio; From Volume CLIII, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, September 2007 — Over the past two decades, an increasing number of adult patients have presented for treatment of symptoms associated with linguistic deficits not characteristic of known neurological syndromes. Less severe cases entailed impoverished vocabulary and syntax, while more severe cases resemble a mixture of glossolalia and ludic language in which most sentences had been reduced to two-word combinations characteristic of early stages of language acquisition in infants. Patients’ homes were examined to no avail until it was noticed that all of them owned cats and displayed the aforementioned symptoms most strongly when interacting with them. (Read by Trey Jones.)

  • Redundantly Multilingual Pretension Markers in BWFSEDPRCLCEE

    Redundantly Multilingual Pretension Markers in BWFSEDPRCLCEE

    22/11/2015 Duración: 03min

    Redundantly Multilingual Pretension Markers in BWFSEDPRCLCEE; by Saszkwacz Qumkwaat & Yýŷỳ Yẙÿẙÿẙ; From Volume CLV, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, February 2009 — After generating minimal interest in linguistic circles during the 1960’s, very little linguistic attention has been paid to a once semi-(in)famous dialect of English, namely Beret-Wearing, Finger-Snapping, Espresso-Drinking, Poetry-Reading, Cafe-Lounging Culturally Elite English (commonly abbreviated BWFSEDPRCLCEE). (Read by Zack Sjöberg.)

  • How Linguistics Got Her Groove Back

    How Linguistics Got Her Groove Back

    14/11/2015 Duración: 03min

    How Linguistics Got Her Groove Back; by Gunnr Guðr Entgegenlächeln; From Volume CLXIII, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, January 2012 — Common wisdom—an oxymoron if ever there was one—has it that linguistics and linguists themselves have a bit of a reputation problem. Are linguists boring? Incomprehensible? Pointless? Evil? The contention of this paper is—given that perception is nine-tenths of reality—unless we ask, we’ll never know. (Read by Trey Jones, Joey Whitford, and Jonathan van der Meer.)

  • The Quotta and the Quottiod

    The Quotta and the Quottiod

    09/11/2015 Duración: 06min

    The Quotta and the Quottiod; by Vére Çélen; From Volume CLI, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, October 2006 — It is not news to linguists that particular forms of punctuation can be problematic. One frequent source of considerable friction in certain circles is the unending debate over whether and when (and, increasingly, why) commas and periods go inside or outside quotation marks—especially when they are not actually part of the material to be quoted. Typically careful linguists usually prefer not to include punctuation in a quoted citation form or gloss, while many punctilious punctuationally prescriptivist publishers demand they be (or worse, silently and patronizingly move them) inside. (Read by James Campbell.)

  • The Laziest Language on Earth

    The Laziest Language on Earth

    31/10/2015 Duración: 05min

    The Laziest Language on Earth; by Claude Searsplainpockets; From Volume CLIII, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, November 2007 — Back in 1922, my Historical Linguistics professor, Benjamin Ide Wheeler, noted that ease of articulation is a driving force in language change—hence the regular occurrence of lenition rules—but the opposing need to maintain a clear communication channel prevents everything from degenerating to a long low mid vowel. Turns out he was wrong. (Read by Claude Searsplainpockets and Trey Jones.)

  • On the Cryptographic Uses of TLAs

    On the Cryptographic Uses of TLAs

    25/10/2015 Duración: 02min

    On the Cryptographic Uses of TLAs; by Dash Ŋ. Ooba-Nuhd; From Volume CLXXIII, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, July 2015 — Claude SPP in his angry screed, “TLAs DOA? TBD!” entirely missed the point of BizSpeak, as do most speakers of BizSpeak. (Read by Trey Jones.)

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